Log In Sign Up

Young First Time Mom


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Unplanned Pregnancy LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 4th, 2005, 04:27 PM
LalaMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,258
hello mothers, my name is Kimberly, and as you may have guessed, im having a baby. At the time i found out, i was engaged to a wonderful man. We were doing well, both young (21&22) but he has his own business, and i was a nanny. We got pregnant, and at first i was too confused to process it. Then i told him, and he was thrilled.
The first thing he did was buy baby books. While he is living it up, i am having a hard time enjoying myself. I can deal with the nausia and soar breasts. But although baby wasnt planned, i am so fearful of losing it. I think im doing everything right, but the fear is still there. I am actually afraid that my worrying will hurt the baby. Is this normal? Am i normal? I am 9 weeks, 2 days. So, hopefully once the 12 week mark hits, ill be ok, but is tehre anything anyone can suggest in the meantime to calm my nerves.
I am also alone in a new state, i was born and raised in NYC, now i live in Maryland with my new husband, and i dont know anyone. Should i join a pregnancy group? lol
__________________


My Webpage
Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 4th, 2005, 06:32 PM
Sam Sam is offline
Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 115
Quote:
Originally posted by LalaMama@Apr 4 2005, 03:27 PM
hello mothers, my name is Kimberly, and as you may have guessed, im having a baby. At the time i found out, i was engaged to a wonderful man. We were doing well, both young (21&22) but he has his own business, and i was a nanny. We got pregnant, and at first i was too confused to process it. Then i told him, and he was thrilled.
The first thing he did was buy baby books. While he is living it up, i am having a hard time enjoying myself. I can deal with the nausia and soar breasts. But although baby wasnt planned, i am so fearful of losing it. I think im doing everything right, but the fear is still there. I am actually afraid that my worrying will hurt the baby. Is this normal? Am i normal? I am 9 weeks, 2 days. So, hopefully once the 12 week mark hits, ill be ok, but is tehre anything anyone can suggest in the meantime to calm my nerves.*
I am also alone in a new state, i was born and raised in NYC, now i live in Maryland with my new husband, and i dont know anyone. Should i join a pregnancy group? lol
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}>
[/quote]

I'm 18 and 13 weeks pregnant. I worry about it too even though I'm really past the mark of worry, I still do, but most miscarriages aren't caused by the mother doing anything wrong.

You should visit; http://www.womens-health.co.uk/miscarr.asp it helped me a little not be so worried.

Congrats on your pregnancy and I hope all is well.
__________________


and






A new arrival coming in december!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 4th, 2005, 06:49 PM
1proudmom2kalli
Guest
Posts: n/a
These worries are REALLY common, so yes, you're totally normal. I cannot tell you how worried I was until I got to like 14 weeks. Then I started to feel better. This site REALLY helped me. I joined my due date club and they have been GREAT support.
You may not be 100% excited (because you're probably concerned and worried too much to enjoy it!) but just remember, that it's totally normal. Did you read any of those books? THe more info you have, the better you will feel. At least, that's how it was for me. I hope things work out. Let us know how it goes....
Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 4th, 2005, 06:50 PM
Alice's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,057
Hi Kimberly. Welcome and congratulations-- on your wedding and the baby!!!!

It's so hard not to worry when you're pregnant; you're bombarded with this tremendous list of things you can't do and all the horror stories of what will happen if you do them. But trust me, it takes a lot more than worry to hurt a baby. My dad was in hospice for most of my last pregnancy; if worry or tears could hurt a baby, Kira would have been a goner!! Instead she's an absolute delight who insists on climbing INTO the fridge and dropping my eggs on the floor. (but more about the terrible Two's later )

Where in NYC are you from?? I'm from Long Island. We took the kids into the city at Christmas to see Radio City; it was their first time there (or on a train) and we all had a blast.

Absolutely, you need to meet people. Try a child first-aid or CPR course-- you'll probably meet other soon-to-be-moms, and you'll learn something helpful too! And a mom's group is a great idea-- I'm sure they'll be happy to have you.

Well, again, welcome.
__________________
ALICE
WIFE TO PETER
MOM TO BRIAN (6-18-98)
JULIA (2-17-00)
KIRA (2-04-03)
<a href="http://siggiez.com/countdownz/ch/index2.cgi">
Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 4th, 2005, 07:24 PM
LalaMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,258
Thank you all for your replies. Alice, you have given me something to look forward to, i will find a safe way to protect my eggs. I suppose im not thenyoungest here either which makes me feel better. I used to live in the East Village, born and raised. I moved around a bit in the end; 3 years in NJ, 3 years in the BX and 2 in Staten Island. Maryland is fine...i miss the hussle of the city. I am so happy to be here, i hope i can give you all advice to once ive calmed down
__________________


My Webpage
Reply With Quote
  #6  
April 4th, 2005, 07:29 PM
Alice's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,057
It's not just the eggs-- this kid climbs on the dining room table and draws "pictures" on anything left there (So we have to be REALLY careful with her brother's homework), she draws more "pictures" on every wall in the house. She's recently learned to open the doorknobs, so nowhere is safe.

But she's the most loving little girl. She hugs sooo tight and pats you on the back. She yells "we're home!!!!" to the dog when we get back from the school bus stop. Honestly, Kimberly, you have no idea how much love you're capable of until you have a child. (BY the way, I also love my two older kids . I got started on Kira because of the worry/baby link)

It's so nice to have another New Yorker here!!

Take care, gotta go. Brian needs more "snuggles" and his bedtime was an hour and a half ago.
__________________
ALICE
WIFE TO PETER
MOM TO BRIAN (6-18-98)
JULIA (2-17-00)
KIRA (2-04-03)
<a href="http://siggiez.com/countdownz/ch/index2.cgi">
Reply With Quote
  #7  
April 4th, 2005, 09:20 PM
LalaMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,258
Oh, Alice, you have no idea how happy youve made me. I have been worrying so much about loosing my baby, i have had no time to engoy the thought of having it. You sound like a trooper however, your toddler sounds like a handful, a very cute handful.

Did you grow up in new york? Do you ever go back? I make it a point to visit my family for a long weekend once a month, its nice to go home. And its kinda sad to consder where you presently live not home. I suppose its normal to miss family and familiarity.

Anyway, my insomnia curse is wearing off, i hope i can get back on a normal sleep schedule soon. I sleep all day, and im up all night. My husband thinks im studying to be a vampire.

Take care Alice
__________________


My Webpage
Reply With Quote
  #8  
April 4th, 2005, 09:40 PM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: at my desk
Posts: 27,881
Hi and welcome from another NYer and the other co-host of the board. Looks like you've already recieved some pretty good advice from the lovely ladies here. I agree with trying to enjoy your pregnancy. I was 20/21 when I was pregnant. We had so much going on and I was so worried and scared that I had a hard time enjoying my pregnancy and I regret that. Things always have a way of working themselves out so try not to worry. Just wait til you have a toddler distroying your house or they're our age....THEN we'll have something to really worry about.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #9  
April 5th, 2005, 04:59 AM
Alice's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,057
Quote:
Originally posted by LalaMama@Apr 4 2005, 10:20 PM
Oh, Alice, you have no idea how happy youve made me. I have been worrying so much about loosing my baby, i have had no time to engoy the thought of having it.* You sound like a trooper however, your toddler sounds like a handful, a very cute handful.

Did you grow up in new york? Do you ever go back? I make it a point to visit my family for a long weekend once a month, its nice to go home. And its kinda sad to consder where you presently live not home.* I suppose its normal to miss family and familiarity.

Anyway, my insomnia curse is wearing off, i hope i can get back on a normal sleep schedule soon. I sleep all day, and im up all night. My husband thinks im studying to be a vampire.*

Take care Alice
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}>
[/quote]

I think that's the key: concentrate on the joy of having a baby. Otherwise you'll make yourself crazy, and all over stuff you can't prevent anyway. Besides, (here's the math teacher in me coming out statistically, for a healthy woman your age in the US, the odds are WAY in favor of having a perfectly healthy baby.

I've lived all my life on Long Island. We live about 20 minutes from the house I grew up in. Mom and one of my sisters still live there, in Lynbrook. (Not too far from JOnes Beach or the Nassau Colliseum.) My brother and other two sisters are scattered on the island too. Growing up in what's now considered to be a large family, I've always been around kids. So maybe that's part of why I tend not to share some of the worries you're experiencing. Plus, since Brian is adopted (from Korea) and the girls aren't, I was already an experienced mom before I had an infant.

As to the vampire studies, your body is preparing you for motherhood. I can't tell you how many episodes of Nick at Night I watched when the kids were infants!!

Take care, and search out some more soon-to-be-mommies!!! Try the yellow pages or online for "moms clubs" or something similar!! Or hit the park if your forecast is as good as ours.
__________________
ALICE
WIFE TO PETER
MOM TO BRIAN (6-18-98)
JULIA (2-17-00)
KIRA (2-04-03)
<a href="http://siggiez.com/countdownz/ch/index2.cgi">
Reply With Quote
  #10  
April 6th, 2005, 05:51 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 42
hello and welcome!!!!
its 100% normal to worry,im almost 7 months and i still worry,tee hee!!!
the other day i fell,i had no control over the fall and for some reason all i could think of on the way down was baby,and i managed to not fall on my tummy!!
i even worry in my sub concioius,i mean i was falling and i made sure i didnt land on my tummy but i had no control,weird!!!
well goodluck with the baby!!!
im sure ul be a great mommy
and since you dont know anyone if you ever want to chat,we are all right here!!!
Reply With Quote
  #11  
April 6th, 2005, 08:39 PM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Anaheim, CA
Posts: 7,096
Send a message via AIM to docsmomma
Hi, I know the worries all too well. I was 17 and pg, and even though it wasn't planned, I was terrified that I would lose it, since my mom had lost so many.

It is a normal fear. Now I am 20 and pg with #2, and this wasn't planned either. my fiance is thrilled, but over protective of me. I have the fears again. But I know me stressing too much isn't going to help my Belly Bean any. Plus it can make the morning sickness worse (at least for me). It looks like we're due around the same time too, so if you want to talk about the fears or the joys, i'd love someone to talk to.

My 1st born will be 3 in 1 month, and he was a preemie. But even at 6 weeks early he was perfectly healthy and came home with me, the very next day.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
April 7th, 2005, 08:32 PM
nat81
Guest
Posts: n/a
This is an excellent topic because I think most women do worry constantly about their pregnancies but don't always talk about it. I guess we don't want to sound crazy or irrational.

If I wasn't worrying about a miscarage, I was worrying about why I couldn't feel any movement at 4 months! It was only when I had my ultra sound that I felt reasured since they told me the baby was very active. Now I feel it all the time but if I don't for a while, I strat worrying again... It's a vicious cycle!

Anyway, there has been a lot of good advice here and I think I'm going to use it myself! Thanks for bringing up the topic!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
May 13th, 2005, 08:19 AM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Annapolis, MD
Posts: 3,759
Send a message via AIM to lotus86 Send a message via Yahoo to lotus86
Hi LalaMama -
I live in MD too, and I'm 19 and I think I'm pregnant. Have you found any resource centers or support groups? I live in Annapolis. The only one I know of is Birthright, but I was a volunteer there and I feel uncomfortable going. Let me know, and good luck to you!
__________________
<div align="center"><div align='center'></div><div align="center"></div></div>
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:03 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0