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Has a stranger ever been rude/ask questions because you're a young mom?


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
June 22nd, 2011, 10:34 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 16
I had a complete stranger in a store the other day say "oohh cute baby..is he yours?" Then again the lady in the bank saw my son in the back seat and said "aww cute baby. Is he yours?" I am 22 years old, and I'm fully capable of having and raising my son. My situation is good, i have a supportive boyfriend, i'm a sahm, and I'm sick of people making judgements. Would you really have to ask someone if the baby is yours..would you ask a 30 year old if the baby is theirs? Then one of the ladys asked me how old i was? She said she would have guessed 16 17 or 18. REALLY? She really had to tell me that too after she insulted me? It's actually none of their business. Some people make me mad. Okay im done!
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  #2  
June 23rd, 2011, 03:03 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,069
all i can do is laugh when i read you post lol i know just how you feel and im 27, married...went to college...all that stuff. People still act like i'm one of those girls on 16 and pregnant.

I dont think it will change till our kids get a little older and we become "real moms" lol
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  #3  
June 23rd, 2011, 10:10 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 21
It's kinda funny how people react on others situation. I guess it's either they envy you or you just look younger your age!
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  #5  
June 24th, 2011, 09:27 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 16
i felt a little conscious when i was pregnant as well..people just gave me weird looks. I guess all i can do is be confident and try not to care. I can't say i've never judged someone, but after having an unplanned child, my judgements when i do see young moms are very different. I never thought i'd be in this situation, so i try to not assume things.
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  #6  
June 29th, 2011, 05:45 PM
MidnightMaiden's Avatar )O( Blessed Be )O(
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Kelowna, B.C
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I've had all kinds of people give me weird looks. That was more so when I was pregnant though.
I'm 22 and my daughter is 28 months, and while I get the occassional look I guess my looks have matured?
No one's had the nerve to say anything though, and they're lucky, I'm not the type of person who would just bite her tongue.
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  #7  
July 3rd, 2011, 03:39 PM
MauMama's Avatar formerly La_Sirena
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Aotearoa
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I had a lot of bad looks and had the teenager thing thrown at me when I was pregnant with Sophie. I was 24 when I had her and had been ttc for years!! It always cracks me up that these very women were probably in their 20s when they had ALL their children.

Times change but arseholes don't!
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  #8  
July 4th, 2011, 12:41 AM
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Location: Oregon
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In highschool, I wasn't pregnant but I had a slight baby pouch look going on. I got so many evil looks from my teachers and peers. I even had some people come up and rub it, ask when I was due. >_> needless to say I wasn't too nice back and just told him I wasn't pregnant, I was fat. They removed their hands really fast and just walked away.
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  #9  
July 4th, 2011, 07:49 PM
Babymakes8's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm not necessarily a "young" mom anymore, I'm 32, but when I was 22 I had already had my first 2 children. My husband and I had also been married for 3 years. Our children were 2 and 1.

I was working as a cashier at a retail store, and this elderly man came through my line. Unfortunately, I was still nursing my son and I had leaked through my nursing pad and my shirt and my work smock didn't cover it completely, and I was hoping customer flow would slow down enough for me to run for the bathroom.

Anyway, this old man gave me a long lecture about how young people shouldn't be having babies and sucking up welfare..blah blah blah and then how many kids do I have anyway?

Tried to maintain my cool and be polite, said I had 2, and he really got irrate with me and started on a tirade about how young I was blah blah blah. I'm afraid I lost my temper (resulting in a write up at work) and told this "elder" that I was perfectly in my right to have my children considering my husband and I had been married first and planned them both and we were NOT on welfare.

He was quite shocked, mumbled something about I was still too young, and left with his purchases.

So I totally feel you! People are just rude sometimes.

My biggest peeve right now is complete strangers coming up to rub my belly. Um, NO TOUCHING!
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  #10  
July 5th, 2011, 06:04 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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totally just randomly entering here.

I had my first DD at 20. I looked VERY young....maybe 15 at best. I still only look 18 on a good day, but I am actually 26 and having twins. I get looks ALL the time, even not pregnant, but just having a 5yr old standing beside me I get looks, and it is twice as bad now.

don't fret. These ppl don't know you.
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  #11  
July 6th, 2011, 09:14 PM
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I cannot believe that old guy told you straight up that you were too young and all the young moms are sucking up all the welfare. He had absolutely NO right to go off on you when he doesn't know your situation. Wow. And i hate when people touch my stomach..it happened once, and i was very annoyed! Yeah, i had a baby at 21, but I'm fully capable of being a mother, and we are financially stable. People seriously have guts!
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  #12  
July 9th, 2011, 01:51 PM
star shaped's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by CeilidhBrennan View Post
Not really the same, but I'm 23 and took my 3 youngest brothers out (3, 2, 5 months at the time) and a few people were staring at me and one even said "Wow, you should keep you legs closed" What??? They are my brothers. Even so, I'm 23, I'm old enough to have them that age if I wanted to.
They actually said that?! People shouldn't assume!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Babymakes8 View Post
Anyway, this old man gave me a long lecture about how young people shouldn't be having babies and sucking up welfare..blah blah blah and then how many kids do I have anyway?

My biggest peeve right now is complete strangers coming up to rub my belly. Um, NO TOUCHING!
How rude! I always fear that people think these sort of things about me, although I've never been on welfare either.

People used to rub my belly all the time. Who on earth thinks it's okay to rub a stranger's belly?

Both my boyfriend and I have got several comments regarding our age. We're both 20, but people always seem to think I'm 16-17. Usually it's not completely rude, but I've had people say things like, "He is so cute. How old were you when you had him?" People don't say that unless they think you are really young. I did have an old lady in line at the grocery store ask how old I was. I was 19 at the time. She said, "Oh, bless your heart."
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  #13  
July 13th, 2011, 06:41 AM
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I was 17 when I got pregnant and 18 when my 1st was born. I was just completing my 'A' Level Exams when I found out. Luckily by the time exams were done, I was only 3 mths pregnant so I wasn't showing. However, because of my young face, when I went to the doc, I'd get a lot of stares. I remember this man actually asked me if that's all I went 2 school 2 do I just ignored them
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  #14  
July 13th, 2011, 06:43 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Savannah GA
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I was 21 when my first was born. He is 20 now

You should see the looks we get now, it is even funnier! I will be out with one of my older sons and people assume they are the father, LOL. It totally cracks us all up.
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  #15  
July 13th, 2011, 07:05 PM
LondonAndAthensMommy's Avatar Chillin' in Mommywood ;)
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i got pregnant at 22.. and i didnt feel to young at all
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  #16  
July 15th, 2011, 02:30 PM
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I have been told at 24, that I am too young to have kids. Seriously? 24! Apparently I haven't lived my life yet even though I have traveled to several different countries, graduated from college, am SCUBA certified, married, had my time to party like crazy, but I guess I do not have enough life experience <.<

Also, I didn't realize that your life ended when you had a baby
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  #17  
July 16th, 2011, 01:44 PM
star shaped's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rinchan View Post
I have been told at 24, that I am too young to have kids. Seriously? 24! Apparently I haven't lived my life yet even though I have traveled to several different countries, graduated from college, am SCUBA certified, married, had my time to party like crazy, but I guess I do not have enough life experience <.<

Also, I didn't realize that your life ended when you had a baby
I hate this attitude! Your life doesn't end when you have a kid! You can still gain life experience even if you're a parent. You don't need a ton of life experience to successfully raise a child. Plus, "life experience" is different for everyone. Some people think you should travel a lot or do certain things that others might not find very important at all.

I was 18 when I got pregnant, 19 when I had my son. Personally, it was too young for me. I definitely didn't feel ready. I wish I had more life experience, or at least finished college before I had any kids. I don't think this makes me any less of a mother than someone who is 10 years older than me. Sometimes it's harder for me, but it all comes down to what sort of person you are and how well you parent you child.
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  #19  
September 8th, 2011, 07:37 PM
JJsmom's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Maryland
Posts: 130
I'm a nanny so I'm always telling people when they tell me my baby is cute "thank you, I'm his nanny so I'll tell his mom." and because this happens a lot to me, I never assume with anyone that the woman is actually the kid's mom. Some of the people might be rude and say those things bc they do think you look young, but maybe some of them aren't sure if you're the baby's nanny or mom.
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  #20  
September 16th, 2011, 07:17 AM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: OCNY
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lol. . . I am 28 years old and a lady in a store pointed at me and said "Ugh another pregnanct f- ing teenager..." seriously ! i am a married 28 year old.
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