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Help, who do you think the dad is?


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
June 29th, 2006, 12:15 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 751
Hello,

This is embarassing and is why I am posting it here anonymously. Here is the story... My ex and I were getting back together. Meanwhile I had sex with someone else. Here are the dates and actions; please tell me if you think my ex is the father.

May 20-27th: had my period

May 31 & May 4: unprotected sex with Ex

May 6: unprotected sex with other guy

May 7: took morning after pill (Plan B)

June 19th: found out I'm pregnant
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  #2  
June 29th, 2006, 12:23 PM
asianmama
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um if u took the morning after pill doesnt that wipe out the pregnancy- or its not 100% accurate.

i would think the baby will be ur ex but im not sure-- i dont know much of the morning after pill and what not.
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  #3  
June 29th, 2006, 12:38 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 751
Well, the morning after pill is supposed to be somewhere between 89% effective and up. Being more effective the sooner you take it (I took it within 24 hrs.) and less effective the farther out you take it up to 72 hours.

So, my thought is that I was probably already pregnant (morning after pill is supposed to have no effect on an already there pregnancy), but I'm just thinking what are the chances that I wasn't and the morning after pill didn't work or something?
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  #4  
June 29th, 2006, 12:58 PM
nat81
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Posts: n/a
According to your dates and provided you have a 28 day cycle I would say it's your exes... however, the dates are so close and ovulation is different for every woman so I think you might have to get a DNA test to be 100% sure.
Good luck
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  #5  
June 29th, 2006, 01:19 PM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Central California
Posts: 16,959
Quote:
According to your dates and provided you have a 28 day cycle I would say it's your exes... however, the dates are so close and ovulation is different for every woman so I think you might have to get a DNA test to be 100% sure.
Good luck[/b]
If you have a textbook cycle, it would be your ex's, but not many women have a textbook cycle. I don't know about the success rates of the m.a.p., but nothing is 100%.
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  #6  
June 29th, 2006, 01:20 PM
CTK3989's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2004
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Posts: 3,601
Do you mean that you had sex on May 31st and June 4th, June 6th and June 7th? If so, I think it's your ex's.


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  #7  
June 29th, 2006, 01:22 PM
JennLynn_'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Pickering, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,208
Quote:
Hello,

This is embarassing and is why I am posting it here anonymously. Here is the story... My ex and I were getting back together. Meanwhile I had sex with someone else. Here are the dates and actions; please tell me if you think my ex is the father.

May 20-27th: had my period

May 31 & May 4: unprotected sex with Ex

May 6: unprotected sex with other guy

May 7: took morning after pill (Plan B)

June 19th: found out I'm pregnant[/b]
Ok.. I think you mean June 4, 6 & 7? not may?

I would say that it's your ex's. I think you're right, you may already have been pg when you had sex with the other guy. That's just my opinion though. I also think you should go to the doctor to make sure everything is okay with the baby and that the MA-pill didn't have any negative effects!!
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  #8  
June 29th, 2006, 01:42 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 751
Thank you soo much for replying everyone. Oops, yes I made a mistake here are corrected dates:

May 20-27: period

May 31st & June 4th: sex with ex

June 6: sex with other guy

June 7: no sex, but took the morning after pill and took it correctly

June 19: positive home pregnancy test.

I do have a Dr. apt. on July 12th that will be my first one.
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  #9  
June 29th, 2006, 02:38 PM
duality's Avatar Miss Mama
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,158
By the dates, it'd more than likely be your ex's but the only way to tell is to have a DNA test after the child is born.
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  #10  
July 1st, 2006, 08:34 PM
justjaQ's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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Location: Sterling Heights, MI
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and I wanted to add that I believe the M-A-P suppresses ovulation, and that's where the loophole comes in. hope you'll stick around here on JM... even if you're embarrassed by this (or want to change your name), we won't judge you, and would love to have you!

best of luck, health, and happiness!

ETA: I just had another thought: IF you have a "textbook" luteal phase, and didn't use an "early" pregnancy test, there's a good chance that you wouldn't have gotten a positive test by the 19th, had it been this other guy's... but, like everyone else says, every woman is different.
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  #12  
July 2nd, 2006, 12:09 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 2,901
I would guess your ex's as well. Only b/c you took it within the 24 hours, so that means the baby would have had to be implanted and everything by the time you took the morning after pill.

I guess you'll never truly know until you get a paternity test.....does your ex know about the other guy?
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  #13  
July 2nd, 2006, 02:43 PM
mommytutu's Avatar mom to Emma & Jacqueline
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Location: Bradenton, Fl
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I'm gunna say your exs.

Like others have said, if you took the MAP one day after having unprotected sex with the other guy--it more than likely would have worked unless you were already pregnant from your ex.

The only way you will know for sure is to get a DNA test.
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  #14  
July 2nd, 2006, 08:47 PM
duality's Avatar Miss Mama
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,158
Quote:
I would guess your ex's as well. Only b/c you took it within the 24 hours, so that means the baby would have had to be implanted and everything by the time you took the morning after pill.

I guess you'll never truly know until you get a paternity test.....does your ex know about the other guy?[/b]
Implantation doesn't occur until 5-11 days after conception.
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  #15  
July 2nd, 2006, 08:50 PM
Jinxcat's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
According to your dates and provided you have a 28 day cycle I would say it's your exes... however, the dates are so close and ovulation is different for every woman so I think you might have to get a DNA test to be 100% sure.
Good luck[/b]
I agree. I hope it all works out for you.
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  #16  
July 3rd, 2006, 07:03 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 751
Thanks everyone. Yes, my ex knows about the other guy. It's really a stressful situation right now. I'm praying it's my exes. I should be able to tell even without DNA when the baby is born as ex is black (very very dark) I am white and other guy is white. But, I know mixed babies don't always show their skin pigment right away. I guess I just have to wait and see.
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  #17  
July 3rd, 2006, 08:11 AM
Telucero's Avatar Veteran
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I agree with everyone else here. Considering it takes at least 5 days for a fertilized egg to implant, you had unportected sex on the 6th, took Plan B on the 7th, that just wouldn't make sense-I mean, theoretically, it could have failed. However, when you had sex with your ex and the timing of everything, I'm going to have to say that you were already pregnant when you had sex on the 6th. But, just to be safe, you may want to do a pat. test.

Good luck!
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  #18  
July 3rd, 2006, 12:23 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 751
Ok, can somebody explain to me exactly how the implantation occurs? (I know that sounds so elementary, but I'm confused).

Let's say the morning after pill DID work. Does that mean I would have had to have gotten pregnant on the 31st? Because from that date 5 days would be the 5th. And implantation couldn't have occured after the 6th or the m.a.p. (supposing it worked) would not have allowed it to implant from the 7th (when I took it) on, right?

And if the m.a.p. did work then I couldn't have gotten pregnant on the 4th or 6th because it would have prevented it from implanting, right? (which from what I read the m.a.p. either prevents ovulating or if it's already happened it prevents it from being able to implant in there)

Of course, all this based on the m.a.p. working...
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  #19  
July 3rd, 2006, 04:24 PM
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man, sweetheart, your story sounds so much like mine right now. You can check mine out in the introductory section. But, I'm stuck between two guys, they both seem to think I'm pregnant, but I haven't even missed my period (apparently you can bleed and still be pregnant, go firgure ) But the one ex says if it isnt his he'll never be with me again (I love him soooo much) and the other ex wants it to be his so I'll never leave. All this about a not even sure thing. I don't even know how they came to think i was pregnant!!!! But anyway, my sympathies, I totally understand with this. I hope the ex you want to be with is understanding of this and either way will support you in what you are doing!

Silver Rose
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  #20  
July 3rd, 2006, 07:12 PM
duality's Avatar Miss Mama
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,158
The MAP isn't 100% effective, so you never really know. Sperm can remain alive in your body for up to seven days, so the sperm could have fertilized an egg days after you took EC, and since EC isn't 100% it's entirely possible.

Honestly, I wouldn't spend your entire pregnancy stressing over this. I'd wait until you have the child, get a paternity test, and go from there. There's absolutely no way to tell while you're pregnant (aside from an amnio, which isn't a routine procedure and runs a risk of infection and miscarriage). A friend of mine was in pretty much the same situation and was certain that her ex was the father because of the dates, but it turns out that even though by the dates he should have been the father, he wasn't.
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