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Hey Brandy, I can relate to how you are feeling! I'm not bi-polar (but with my crazy hormones you wouldn't be able to tell) I did no want to have another child. I have one son who's 6 and I swore he would be the only one. Until, oops withdraw doesn't work. Surely, at 36 I'm old enough to know that. I have spent the last 3-4 weeks in a depression. I can't think of one positive thing about this baby. It's all negative and no matter what I do I can shake the funk. My dh is over the moon excited and I wish that I could be too. I keep telling him I want my life back. I'm so afraid that this babies going to come and I'm going to resent it. I know everyone says I will love it but what if I don't?
BTW, I think we might be in the same DDC since I'm 8 weeks. I also have trouble going over there because I feel like I have nothing in common with those women. I try thinking it might cheer me up but I usually end up more depressed.
I'm not bi-polar and our baby was planned, but I do have a history of depression.
I went off my meds when I got pregnant also. Some of them you aren't supposed to go off of cold turkey but I ended up with hyperemesis (most extreme form of morning sickness you can get) so I just kept throwing up the last one I was supposed to be slowly weaning off.
Depression didn't kick back in until I was 6 months pregnant, and I believe it was more to do with the situation I was in anyway. I was perfectly happy all that time before that, even with the hyperemesis. I wanted this baby that much!
Anyway, at 7 months, they put me back on 2 of the meds I was on before, but at lower doses. It made a hell of a difference. Before that I was a complete mess.
Pregnancy does mess with your hormones and therefore your emotions. For people that already have trouble with their emotions pregnancy can be the most trying time of your life. Some dr's still refuse to treat pregnant women with meds, but most will do it now if the consequences of not doing it out way the benefit.
What you're feeling can very well be normal for untreated bi-polar. It doesn't make you a bad person. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain. Asking you to get ahold of it yourself is like asking the sky to turn green.
bking and daisyprincess, I hope my story helps to comfort you a bit. My two oldest children are from a previous relationship, and DH and I have the younger two together. We have been together for nearly 12 years, and married for 7 next month. For 8 or 9 years now, we have been using the withdrawal method and being particularly careful around my most fertile days. We have never "messed up". Luke and Grace were planned. After Grace we were sure we were done, now that we had 4 kids (the oldest two's father is not involved at all, and DH has been raising them with me since they were 4 and 1). We had just been putting off him having a vasectomy, never thinking in a million years we would have an oops pregnancy. Well, we did. It was a complete and total shock; 5 kids?!? Are you kidding me?!? The first couple of weeks were very, very rough. I am hoping that you may find comfort knowing that now, here we are at 21 weeks and are very happy. We know it is going to be tough financially, but we are going to make it work and are feeling blessed with our little unexpected baby. It still blows my mind sometimes when I look at my expanding belly and feel this little one moving inside of me. I sometimes can't believe we are starting all over again with a new baby, but my overwhelming feelings are of happiness and awe.
Wife to Jerry and mom to Drew (18), Hannah (15), Luke (8), Grace (4), Owen (just turned 2), and expecting Baby #6 in August 2014
I know exactly what you're going through minus the bipolar... i've also felt pretty depressed lately (although not clinically, but still depressed). This was a very unplanned pregnancy and there are so many reasons I shouldn't have a baby right now, but like you, abortion is not something I can do.
I live with my parents, after my daughter's father ditched us when she was 6 months old. My current boyfriend is younger than me and we've only been together 5 months. He is unemployed and also lives with his mother (who isn't exactly an ideal grandmother figure). My job is not secure at the moment because our company was just taken over by another company... anyways, there are many reasons. So I really do feel your pain. On top of the stress of just having a baby.. I have to move out of my parents' home, find a place, find first and last months' rent, furnish the place... I have nothing.
anyways... enough about me, but I just wanted you to know that there are more people out there like you than you know. Not everyone's pregancies are sunshine and rainbows.
I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to. I'm currently due either April 20 or 24th.. so we're not too far off from each other.
I am in a similar situation without the bipolar and depression. I am 34 yrs old, married with 2 children...14 and 6. We were done and did not want any more and I am pregnant now....I am almost 6 weeks pregnant. I am devasted, I am not ready to start over...my kids are growing up and it is going to be extremly hard. Our house is too small for another child. I am contemplating abortion however I don't know if I can do it but I know I don't want to be pregant again.....it is very hard....