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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  • 1 Post By Lyndsey2013
  • 1 Post By Cherela

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  #1  
May 11th, 2012, 11:53 PM
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Half Moon Bay, California
Posts: 13
Hi,
I hope I will find some sympathetic ears here. Here is my story. Please don't judge me harshly, we all make mistakes, and I really need some support....

I am not 100% sure that I am pregnant but I sure feel like I am. Nauseated a lot and tender breasts.
Possible conception was May 3 so only 9-10 days along. Waiting to take OTC preg test in a few days as I don't want a false negative from testing too early.

I'm 46 years old, yes 46! I've been married for 21 years and we have an almost 13-yr-old son. I had a miscarriage my first pregnancy so I have been preganat twice before and both times had nausea like this early on.

My husband is much older than me, in fact he is 80 years old. I met him and fell in love with him when I was only 18 yrs old. He is a wonderful person but with age he has health problems and we haven't had sex for at least five years. I feel more like a caretaker than a wife these days.

This is the difficult part.... I really wanted sex. I met someone through Craigslist and slept with him once, just a casual encounter. He is only 25 and single, he knew my age and marital status. Stupidly we didn't use condoms . I thought I was too old to get pregnant....apparently not.

I don't know what to do if I am pregnant. My husband will be very upset and hurt. My son will be confused. I take care of them, how can I add a baby to that? We don't have much money.
I probably should have an abortion but I just can't bring myself to do that. I know at my age there is a greater risk of miscarriage and genetic diseases....if the baby was not viable, had a genetic disease etc I would have an abortion then though still feel bad about it. But I can't abort a healthy baby I just can't.

I don't have many female friends. I feel so alone and confused. Please reply.
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  #2  
May 13th, 2012, 01:00 PM
Lyndsey2013's Avatar Mom to 2 + 3
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 848
It sounds like you may have a really hard decision to make soon. Until you get that positive test, remember it's possible the symptoms you are feeling could possibly be something else. I wish you luck and strength getting through this as I'm sure none of the possble upcoming roads for you are easy.
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  #3  
May 13th, 2012, 01:53 PM
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Half Moon Bay, California
Posts: 13
Than you for replying! I still feel pregnant but waiting a couple more days before taking hpt.
I know I made a mistake and I regret it. I'll learn from this. I'm not a bad person.

I just don't know if I can have an abortion.
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  #4  
May 14th, 2012, 09:03 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 149
I know this time can seem very hard for you. Whatever you decide will be best for you, but have you thought about adoption? I know that you may not want to tell your husband you had sex with someone else, but you may a precious life within you right now. I say this because it has taken me 3 years to get pregnant. DH and I have contemplated adoption and the benefits for being a birth mom are tremendous! What you chose I am thinking and praying for you! Do not feel bad if you do choose abortion. Sometimes life happens this way and you have to do what is best for you. Good luck!
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  #5  
May 17th, 2012, 10:39 PM
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Half Moon Bay, California
Posts: 13
Thank you for your kind message. I have thought about adoption...would anyone want to adopt a child from a 46-yr-old?
I don't know if I could go through a whole pregnancy, give birth, see the baby, and give her or him up... I have a son who is almost 13...I can't imagine giving up a baby after going through all of that. But it is an option.
I am less worried about my husband finding out that I slept with someone else than with how he would react to the pregnancy... DH is elderly and in poor health...sigh...I just don't know.
One day at a time.
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  #6  
May 18th, 2012, 07:19 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,249
I know that you are going through a very difficult time. I hope that things work out for you. Good luck!
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  #7  
May 18th, 2012, 08:17 PM
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Half Moon Bay, California
Posts: 13
Thanks for replies. Had blood test today, it was negative. Feel both relieved and disappointed. I guess a part of me wanted a chance for another baby, but in the circumstances, it is best not to be pregnant.

I still feel nauseated though. And no AF yet, but I do have irregular cycle.

Best to all and thanks again.
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  #8  
May 20th, 2012, 03:57 PM
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Half Moon Bay, California
Posts: 13
Just need to write this and think out loud... I am confused...
I still feel nauseated and tired. No period, no PMS.
My blood test on Friday May 18 (about two weeks after unprotected sex) was negative... Hpt was negative... But why am I feeling this way? Is it possible that I am pregnant after negative tests? Or am I getting menopausal? Probably menopausal, as I am 46 y/o.
Also I have lost 8 lbs in last two weeks. Losing weight is usually difficult for me, I am overweight currently, so weight loss is good...but is it from eating healthily because of possible pregnancy, or what?
I read it can be a sign of pregnancy. Any ideas?

Another strange thing...I poured myself a small glass of white wine with dinner last night...I hadn't had any wine for over two weeks...but when I tried to drink it, I just couldn't...it tasted weird! I poured it out. Nothing wrong with the wine itself, same brand & type I usually have. Could that be a pregnancy symptom?

I've been reducing my antidepressant medication because it is not safe to take during pregnancy...but if I am not pregnant I want to increase it again... So i dont want to wait for weeks more to know what is really happening with my body. But if there is even a 1 in 1000 chance that I am pregnant, I don't want to take the antidepressant and harm the baby. following this line of thinking through, I just could not have an abortion.

Ok,probably just over thinking the whole thing, but it is frustrating. Thanks for listening.
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  #9  
May 20th, 2012, 04:23 PM
Lyndsey2013's Avatar Mom to 2 + 3
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 848
There are a lot of signs of pregnancy that can be indicators of something else. Until you get a positive test or your period, I guess you may want to just play it safe. Easier said than done I know.
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  #10  
May 24th, 2012, 07:45 AM
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 31
Please do have a pregnancy test so you will feel at ease. don't be too stressed out. Hope it's just a sign of menopausal symptom and not pregnancy.I know you learned your lesson. Just be a good mom and a wife.
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  #11  
May 26th, 2012, 05:19 PM
Newbie
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 5
Hi. I'm also scared in a bad situation, See I think I'm pregnant.25dpo and 5 days late. I'm always on time. last week I couldn't eat a thing. and i got real stuffy like cold. No spotting bleeding or anyoff it. No sore breast either. I've taken two test and both negative. Problem is I already have 11 year old twins. and the BD is a guy thats been hanging around for a little over a year, we are not together but he wants me to be with him. I'm currently jobless and strapped financiallly. Yea I Know protect your sex, and normally I do bt this time it just happen. He doesn't know yet. some one plase talk to me
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  #12  
May 26th, 2012, 06:51 PM
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Louisiana9, it might be best to start a nw post so more people can see you.

Cherela It IS possible you had a later ovulation or later implantation. It is possible you had a slow starter or the bloodtest was a yes no instead of quantatative. if you had any of these and had low numbers it couldve been deemed negative rather than just extremely early. I know a girl from another site that had starting numbers of 7. Some clinics would consider that a negative and some a positve. SO long story short, you could in fact be pregnant OR your symptoms could be something else. Get a good quality test from the store and see what you see. You are completely correct when you say some things could be harmful to a potential baby and you'd rather be safe, so can you do that? Take a test and go from there? Good luck honey, i hope things turn out in a way that is best for you, however you think best to be.
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  #13  
May 26th, 2012, 07:02 PM
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Join Date: May 2012
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Hello. whats a nw post?

i'm still looking for my AF.. I'm so scared, and nervous to find out if I may be pregnant. I want to retest but trying to wait it out, I've already taken two, and no insrance for a Doctor. Sooo. 25dpo and 5 days late.
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