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How do I tell my husband?!!! He didn't want anymore!


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
May 29th, 2012, 10:51 AM
MelibearMom's Avatar Melissa--expecting #4!!
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Utah
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I'm am crying and shaking right now. I don't know what to do! Just found out I'm pregnant with the 4th a few minutes ago. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

We agreed on 3 kids when we got married. We have 1 girl (age 7), a boy (4), and another boy (20 mo.). I had to beg DH for the boys and had to use clomid to get them. Ever since my last little guy I've wanted another. I REALLY want another girl. DH and everyone around me knows this. Although I agreed to wait until he was ready for another, if that EVER happened. I went off birth control thinking that I couldn't get pregnant (even though we conceived DD the first time we tried). So, I've been off it for about 9 months thinking that if something happened oh well. But, DH is just so adamant that we are DONE! He won't even discuss another. And now, here I am, pregnant!!!! To make matters worse, money is really, really tight. What should I do?! How do I tell him?! I know eventually he will be okay with it, but it scares me to death. He will be so mad I wasn't taking the birth control.

Thanks for your support,
Melissa
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  #2  
May 29th, 2012, 03:52 PM
SarahxSyanide's Avatar Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I thought telling my parents was bad.
You just have to jump in with both feet and tell him. It does sound like he was eventually going to be accepting. Does he know you went off birth control?
Don't put all this on yourself. It takes a man and a woman to make a baby
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  #3  
May 29th, 2012, 04:15 PM
MelibearMom's Avatar Melissa--expecting #4!!
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Utah
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I *think* he knows I was off of it cause for a while I would skip around and not take it everyday and he would call me on it. But he hasn't said anything for a long time and my full pack has been sitting in the same spot for about 9 months now. So, I assume he knows. Once I tell him and he gets over it things will be fine I think. It's just the telling part and his anger I don't want to deal with. Maybe if I wait a while he will notice that I am and then I won't have to tell, lol. Thanks for the support! I'm still in shock!
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  #4  
May 29th, 2012, 06:12 PM
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My advice is to just suck it up and tell him. He should be man enough to know that there's a chance of you getting pregnant even while on birth control.
If you wait and he finds out that you withheld knowing you were pregnant, he could be more upset with you.

I know the news is hard to swallow but I think you should just tell him asap. You'll probably feel better telling him rather than keeping it all bottled up inside.
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  #5  
May 29th, 2012, 08:11 PM
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You can always start buy telling him something way worse but untrue..."Honey I lost my job" or "Baby my mother is coming into town" once he lets it sink in and starts to panic pull back and let him know, just kidding I'm only pregnant!

Side note, if he really didn't want anymore he could have got himself fixed. No birth control is 100%
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  #6  
May 30th, 2012, 03:26 PM
SarahxSyanide's Avatar Super Mommy
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^true! Absolutely true. He could have had a vasectomy if he REALLY REALLY didn't want anymore kids, or he could have worn a condom.

You just gotta take a deep breathe and push it out of your mouth. I mean c'mon, you already gave birth 3 times!! What's harder than that?!
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  #7  
May 30th, 2012, 03:37 PM
MelibearMom's Avatar Melissa--expecting #4!!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahxSyanide View Post
^true! Absolutely true. He could have had a vasectomy if he REALLY REALLY didn't want anymore kids, or he could have worn a condom.

You just gotta take a deep breathe and push it out of your mouth. I mean c'mon, you already gave birth 3 times!! What's harder than that?!

LOL, HE is definitely harder than birth! And, he always talked about getting a vasectomy so I'm sure he'll be mad he didn't get one! I think I will write him a letter telling him and then stating all the reasons why I wasn't trying to get pregnant. I'm just afraid he will think this was my little plan. And, while I did want another, I definitely was NOT TRYING to get pregnant. So, if I write a letter I can lay it all out there without forgetting anything. We seem to communicate better in texts and IM with hot topics anyway, lol.
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  #8  
May 30th, 2012, 06:40 PM
SarahxSyanide's Avatar Super Mommy
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I just don't think it's fair that you're taking all the responsibility! You can't make a baby with out him.

Well I wish you luck.
Keep us updated.
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  #9  
May 30th, 2012, 07:09 PM
MelibearMom's Avatar Melissa--expecting #4!!
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I know. I agree with you, but I'm the one that quit taking the birth control, so I feel like it's my fault.
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