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Do you believe in the philosophy that if you think about something enough, it might just happen to you? I am a 32 year-old single, professional female. The last relationship I was in ended nearly two years ago and I'm honest enough to admit that I don't do a lot of work to meet men. I've never tried online... all of my relationships have occurred because I've met someone through mutual friends. I question at times whether or not I will ever again find true love (it happened once), but have never questioned whether or not I wanted to be a mother.
In April, I was casually seeing a good guy friend of mine who had been interested in me for years. I thought I was ready to be more than friends, but I just didn't feel all that attracted to him, no matter how hard I tried. I do realize that this is a sign - you shouldn't really have to try to be attracted to someone. It's either there or it's not... I debated breaking it off, but wasn't sure I had really given things a chance.
I live in Cleveland, Ohio and the weekend of April 13-15, our city welcomed the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame Induction. I was lucky enough to be asked to go by a good friend and was really excited... the night before, I met some friends out downtown and they had "adopted" a guy they met at the bar who was in from out of town. He was beautiful... tall, dark hair, older... we talked about going to the show the next day and he suggested meeting up at or after. I gave him my card, but didn't really expect to hear from him. There was another girl in our group who I thought he was much more interested in... he texted the next day and we went back and forth flirtatiously for a few hours. I went to dinner and the show and "A" and I texted throughout, but the show itself didn't let out until 1:30AM. He asked me to meet him at his hotel bar and when I got there, it was closed. I invited him back to my apartment - I'm not going to lie and say I didn't know where this was going. We came back, opened and drank a bottle of wine and ended up in the bedroom just shy of 4:00 in the morning. It was sweet - not strange or unfamiliar. The next morning, I walked him to the elevator and said goodbye. We continued texting for a couple of weeks, but I didn't expect it to lead anywhere and was okay with that.
A few weeks later, I noticed the start of my PMS symptoms... breasts swollen, cramping and I bled a little. But while the bleeding stopped, my breasts remained swollen and the weird cramping continued. I explained my symptoms to my sister who just had her daughter and she came right out and told me I was pregnant. I disregarded her. My night with "A" was the first time I had sex in a year. Yes, I'm a smart girl, but I know now that's about the dumbest rationalization someone could come up with. I took a test on May 9 and it came up positive. I am now 8 weeks and see the doctor on June 6.
I have yet to communicate anything with "A." Regardless of his feelings, I am planning on raising this child. I am financially stable and blessed with just about the best support system a girl could ask for. I am 32 and not 22 and my dream has always, always been to be a mother. I will not say I got pregnant on purpose. I recognize this is not an ideal situation. I was raised in a loving 2-parent home and my parents are celebrating their 40-year anniversary this summer. I want this child to know and love a father. I don't want him/her coming to me in 5-10 years asking me who their father is. I pray God knows the best plan and will guide me in the right direction.
It sounds like you are prepared to handle your new life, come what may. I hope your baby's father does want to be involved in your child's life - I'm guessing he didn't expect or plan to get you pregnant. Welcome to the group!