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How to tell the partner he going to be a father?


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
June 9th, 2012, 02:19 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
Im in a situation I just found out I pregnant. I been with my partner for nearly 3 years. I have always wanted children as I come from a big family but my partner comes from a very small family that are not close so he never really wanted kids. But he did agree we could have a child in a few years after we buy our home and have some extra spare cash. Anyway he cheated on me within the 1st couple of months being together. I found this out and we moved on. 9months later this girl he slept with decided to spring on us that she had my patners baby and started demanding money off my partner. We did a dna test and it absolutely killed me when it came back a match. Anyway so now we have less money to save cuz a chunk of his wages goes to her. But he now has the ONE child he said he would have. I do not know how to tell him I'm pregnant. I know he will not want me to continue my pregnancy. I just get scared incase he flips out. Do I have someone there for support? But it's ment to be my partner who knows before anyone else. Help?
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  #2  
June 17th, 2012, 02:11 AM
.:Kati:.'s Avatar kyler's mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: memphis,TN
Posts: 930
I've never been in this situation,but please do what's best for you and what you feel is right. He is the father but it's your body.
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  #3  
June 17th, 2012, 01:57 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
I know but what if I can't cope on my own. I'm scared I might be having twins cuz my mum is a twin and his mum is a twin. There are loads of twins in our families x
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  #4  
June 20th, 2012, 08:09 PM
The Truth is out There
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,616
Do you have family who will support you? I would talk to them if you do.

It might feel scary right now, and you might feel that you can't cope on your own, but you CAN. There are so many resources out there for you, regardless of whether you keep this baby or decide to do something else.
If you'd like to PM me, you can.

Just remember, that even if your partner does not want this baby, it doesn't mean that your life is over. It might get harder, but everything will be okay in the end.

If you want, you can PM me.

Hope this helps you.
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  #5  
June 23rd, 2012, 03:54 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by May14th2011 View Post
Do you have family who will support you? I would talk to them if you do.

It might feel scary right now, and you might feel that you can't cope on your own, but you CAN. There are so many resources out there for you, regardless of whether you keep this baby or decide to do something else.
If you'd like to PM me, you can.

Just remember, that even if your partner does not want this baby, it doesn't mean that your life is over. It might get harder, but everything will be okay in the end.

If you want, you can PM me.

Hope this helps you.
Hey thank you. You are being helpful. Im new to this and would like to private message you. But I don't know how. Could you help me please x
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  #6  
June 23rd, 2012, 09:39 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 224
I just want to say---if he is not supportive then he is not the one you're meant to be with! I don't know if you are religious but my family and I live by "if God brings you to it, he'll get you through it" especially since I live in Joplin and my family was effected by the tornado.

Also---a lot of guys will freak out at first but then he will get over it...if he can support a child with someone he hasnt been with for years he should be there for you. Just don't make any rash decisions--I have a friend who told her long time boyfriend she was pregnant and he freaked out and said he wanted her to abort...so she set up the appointment or whatever and meanwhile he was getting used to the idea and was soooo devestated that he had said that and she followed through.
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  #7  
June 26th, 2012, 12:09 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 8
I have also never been in this situation but I couldn't even begin to imagine the difficulty of it. Good luck to you and follow your gut because it's usually right.
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  #8  
June 29th, 2012, 08:49 AM
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 12
He wants me to have an abortion. I'm not against them as I has one before when I was 17 and the reason was simply because I was too young. Now I don't feel there is a reason to have one. I'm just really worried financially. I'm live in the uk I'm 22 and will be a single parent. Does anyone know any help I can get? X
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  #9  
June 29th, 2012, 10:07 AM
Dhartanya's Avatar Paleo Mommy-to-be
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Delta, BC
Posts: 2,391
IMO don't have an abortion for others. (especially for someone who says they love you and "wants" to stay together)
If you decide YOU want an abortion that's fine.

Have you tried googling assistance programs in your area?
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  #10  
July 4th, 2012, 03:05 PM
The Truth is out There
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,616
I'm agreeing with the others, men tend to freak out when it's an unplanned pregnancy. DH did, and he really likes kids. He was just freaked out and once he got used to the idea, he's been great and really supportive.
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  #11  
July 6th, 2012, 01:02 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2
Dear 1st Time Mum 2012,

My heart goes out to you. I don't know what stage you are at right now in your situation, but trust me, there are lots of resources available to help you out through this. You will come out better and stronger than ever if you follow your gut. You need to do what's best for you and the baby at this time.

I love May14 2011's message to you -- she is right and I hope you two had a chance to chat. You CAN do this.

If you need any help, please feel free to message me or you can check out my Facebook page. I had an unplanned pregnancy too and gave life to the most wonderful little girl and along the way, found myself, found my true friends and family. If you look on Facebook for Action Ashlee you can find it and there are several girls on there that have been in similar situations.

Reaching out like you are on here is awesome -- You have to surround yourself with positive people.

Congrats!
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