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Please read.. long..but need advice.. not judgement


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
July 15th, 2012, 06:49 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3
Hi, I am in quite a predicament...

So my husband and I are in the middle of a divorce...We are waiting for it to be final.. well I have been seeing someone else for a couple months.. we got serious fast and it scared both of us so we kinda backed off for awhile... well recently we started talking again and being with each other again...

Well to back track here for a minute... I take my birth control religiously everyday same time...

Okay back to the story well right before he left for a trip overseas for 2 weeks we had sex... protected as always... Well he left for germany.. and we have only talked like twice since he has been there (he still has a week left) I understand the time change and such.. but seems like he really could care less... Well on Monday of this week I started to notice some changes in myself... and they were like those that i noticed when I was pregnant last year (that ended in miscarriage) but blew it off bc I KNEW there was no chance... well I can count down to the HOUR that my period was gonna come... and it didnt show... I FREAKED... ran to the store and got the pink dye test... it hada FAINT line.. i thought i was seeing things... so I went and got a digital... PREGNANT!!!!!!.... I cried for TWO DAYS...

It has set in and Im at peace with it... I have decided no matter what this child is a gift from God and I will be keeping it... NOW

I have decided to wait to tell the father in person.. GOOD IDEA??? OR SHOULD I DO IT NOW?
I also have decided that if he wants nothing to do with US... then I will still be raising the child alone. Not the ideal situation but Ill do it...

But I am hoping that he will come around BUT I did forget to mention that the baby's father and my (soon to be ex) kinda work together... not directly but they do.. And they know of each other... So that may play a big factor in his choice... but they will not work together forever, and I would hope a child that HE helped create would be more important and would take priority? RIGHT??

Well if he decides to disappear then I will be moving back to where my family is from.. but for now I'm keeping this quiet... mainly bc I do not want my (soon to be ex) to know.. I hate drama and that is all that would cause! Plus our divorce isn't final and Im not trying to go thru a DNA crap bc I KNOW its not his.. we havent seen each other in months...

SOOOOO AFTER ALL THAT IS THERE ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN IN THIS SITUATION OR KNOW ANYONE WHO HAS??
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  #2  
July 15th, 2012, 07:33 PM
LuvRBx5's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,427
I got pregnant on birth control pill but my situation was very different. We had 2 children together already but he was abusive and an addiction to hard drugs just got discovered. I was ready to leave the relationship. I didn't. Then finally got my guts and self respect to leave. I left with 4 children and pregnant with #5. I was a single mother with very little support.

All I can say is, if he wants to be involved then lovely, even if it's not with you both together. But don't stress yourself out about it too much or push it. You can do it on your own, it can be hard but it is very rewarding. I hope that you have lots of supportive family and friends around you, that always helps. As far as when or how to tell him, I have no advice there. It's really dependent on you and this man. I would probably have a hard time keeping it in and tell pretty much right away unless I felt he was someone who would take it better in person.

Congratulations and good luck.
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  #3  
July 15th, 2012, 07:41 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3
Thanks for reading!

Im having the toughest time keeping it in.. But I know he needs to be told in person... hes on a work trip and needs to focus on that... and I think he'd be rather upset if I told him via email... I just wish I wasn't in love with him... and didnt want to be with him... in case he does decide to split... I really dont think he would... but you never knwo.
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