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Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Becca and I was actaully a member of the Jan. 2012 DDC. I never did join the playroom once my son was born because lets face it, having a kid takes alot of time lol. Anyhow, I just found out tonight that I am pregnant again. Only problem, my DH and I are seperated and in the middle of a divorce, SO this is my boyfriends child. The kicker, we have only been together for a month, and I was on the pill. I have absolutely NO idea how to tell him, or anyone for that matter. Just wondering if anyone had any input?
MC- Sweet Pea, EDD 10/10/09, left us at 6 weeks. MMC-Baby Peapod, EDD 02/24/2011, left us at 8 weeks.
Congratulations on your BFP! Although not in the middle of a divorce, I got my BFP after only 4 months of dating. I will tell you the truth: I took the 'easy' way out to tell him. For some reason, even though I wanted to just tell him out loud, I couldn't find the right words. I had taken a picture of the positive test, and the next time I was at his place, I sent him the photo while he was in the bathroom. That way I didn't have to see his reaction but still knew we would be able to talk about things in person. At first he thought I was joking, but then realized I was serious. A few days later I took a test at his house just so he 'knew'.
My SO and I are 17 weeks and have not told his ex-wife (they separated and divorced in 2010) about the baby yet. We are telling his 3 kids after we find out the gender next month. Obviously once the kids know they are getting a new brother/sister, she will also find out. Although you and your ex have not finalized your divorce, I don't know that it is his business knowing that you are pregnant unless it could possibly be his child. People will be judgmental about you having a new baby so soon regardless of how long you wait to tell them or finish your paperwork to finalize the divorce, so I don't know if you necessarily have to rush any of that.
You have a lot of options right now. Assuming you tell your boyfriend, your next steps depend on his reaction. If he wants to stay with you, then it might be a good idea to let your family get to know him as soon as possible. My family has only met my SO twice, but they have still reacted better than I ever thought possible. If your boyfriend walks out, then you will have to decide what kind of planning needs to be done as a single mother. Since you already have a kid, I'm guessing the boyfriend won't walk out, but he will probably need a few days to process the fact that you're now having a child together.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you keep us posted.