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My boyfriend had only been together for about two and a half months when we found out i was pregnant. Our relationship before we found out was awesome. We meshed well, hung out often, and enjoyed everything about each other. We were not being as careful as we should have been so It was not much of a shock to find out we were going to have a baby. Guess we just didnt think it would happen the first time (stupid, i no) He is 27, me 28 and i have one child (5yr-old)and this will be his first.
In the past few months we have been running into relationship problems. Im 23 wks now and we have been arguing about things for about two months now. I say he is not supportive enough and i would like to see him more often and he says i have become too needy. Things are getting very hard and on top of it, i have been fighting with depression which became an issue about the time we found out i was pregnant.
I no he loves me but i feel like he isnt ready to grow up, give up the single life and move onto the family life.
I have been a single mother for the last four years and i am tired. I worked full time and got thru college as a single mom and i really, REALLY dont want to be a single mom to two children. Im scared that im pushing him away by wanting more so i have been trying to give him more space and time and do more on my own. Idk if its really working.
Im not really sure what im asking from others here, advice maybe? Support? (most of my friends have distanced themselves lately for one reason or another) someone to talk to? Idk...
I don't really have any advice, since I haven't been in your situation. I'm sure there's someone here though that can give you some advice though. We are definitely all ears to hear you though and listen and give support!
It's true he could be not ready to grow up. Having a child really means you're leaving the care-free world of single life. He's probably going through a lot of mental challenges as well, as it sounds you are. You're both faced with a situation that you weren't planning for and necessarily weren't ready for. It will take time. Do you guys ever just talk about it, like how you feel about everything? Or is it mostly heated conversations that could be one-sided? (Not saying one person is doing all the talking, but just that each person is really only hearing themselves talk and not the other person, too.) I know it's easy to just have heated conversations when you are stressed, but it's important to keep the lines of communication open and listen as much as you can.
This guy sounds like he's going through his own issues right now, and maybe he is realizing oh crap she really is going to have a baby, I really am going to be a daddy and maybe I'm not ready...
Whatever the case is, I don't really have any advice for you myself. Maybe you could consider adoption if this guy bails on you and you don't want to be a single mother to another child? Sorry, I mean no offense to that, just offering that as a possible option...
I am sure this is very tough for you and heartbreaking that things have taken a turn for the worst. If only more men would step up and be a father after they've laid down and made the baby....
Ugh, how upsetting to be 23 weeks pregnant and told that you are too "needy". What a thing to say! **** right I'm needy, I'm pregnant!!! LOL! I hope he comes around and realizes it is worth it to stick around and be a daddy. If only all men took up responsibility for their actions!!! Sending good thoughts your way and hoping it all works out