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Regret.....


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  • 1 Post By sandel07

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  #1  
July 30th, 2012, 12:39 PM
sandel07's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 403
I have all over JM looking for the best place to put this post.....Over the last 2 years I have been on a few different board, started out under recurrent miscarriage and pregnancy loss, then moved to trying to concieve with MA and now I feel this might be where I need to be....

Today I am 6 weeks pregnant and all I feel is Regret....

I had 2 sons that are 12 and 14 and 1 miscarrrage from a previous relationship. Nearly 3 years ago I met a new guy who I thought was 'the one', whom I have had 5 miscarriages with. up until my last miscarriage in Feb 2012 all I wanted was to have 1 more baby, but after that loss I began to rethink what I wanted. In June/July I decided I was done I didnt want any more children and was going to disucss tubal ligation on Aug 1st at my annual appointment, then on July 16th I had a positve HPT. I know I should be thrilled but I dont feel that, in fact all I feel right now is regret. I keep thinking what did I do? How did I let this happen? This past Saturday I had a lil spotting, and my first feeling was relieve......

I dont know what to do with these feeling....I know that it can change but what if they dont??? I have an ultrasound on Wednesday which I have mixed feeling about....

I swore that I would never terminate but at this moment it feels like the best thing for me...but how can that be wht is best for me after all that I have been thru .

I know that most people who are worried/upset initially about a pregnancy and get over it and love everything about the new baby, but I worry about what if I always regret this....

Sorry for all the rambling but I have SO much anxiety right now I dont know what to do.
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Sandy-41 years young
BF-Ryan 36
Sons Noah 13 & Drew 15
Miracle baby Ella arrived Mar 22, 2013
6 losses at 4 to 7 weeks (feb 05, July 10, Oct 10, April 11, Oct 11 Feb 2012)

No explanation for losses



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  #2  
July 30th, 2012, 02:10 PM
Dhartanya's Avatar Paleo Mommy-to-be
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Delta, BC
Posts: 2,391
Im so sorry your feeling this way.
I remember reading your previous thread about you deciding you were done TTC.
You seemed so sure and confident, so I can certainly understand your feelings now.
You've been thrown for a loop... a big loop.

I honestly have no advice, just lots of cyber hugs. And the ear (well, rather eyes) to listen.
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  #3  
July 30th, 2012, 02:39 PM
Baby Boy Coming in March!
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Phoenix-Metro area
Posts: 1,842
I don't really know what to say but wanted to offer an ear to listen...
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  #4  
July 31st, 2012, 11:04 PM
Lyndsey2013's Avatar Mom to 2 + 3
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 848
I wish we would be able to give you the answers you are looking for, but only you can decide what is right for your situation. Have you talked with your partner about the pregnancy? What are his feelings? I am sorry you are full of regret right now and hope you are able to come to a decision that leaves you feeling better than that. *hugs*
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  #5  
August 25th, 2012, 10:40 AM
sandel07's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 403
Just wanted to give an update.....
I am starting to feel a little better about things, my pregnancy. I am no longer considering termination and I know that things will work out.
I hope no one sees me a terrible person for my previous thoughts/feeling, I just needed to voice them somewhere....
jeweluv likes this.
__________________
Sandy-41 years young
BF-Ryan 36
Sons Noah 13 & Drew 15
Miracle baby Ella arrived Mar 22, 2013
6 losses at 4 to 7 weeks (feb 05, July 10, Oct 10, April 11, Oct 11 Feb 2012)

No explanation for losses



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  #6  
August 27th, 2012, 05:49 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 133
im glad you are feeling better about this pregnancy i can understand how you feel i had a baby girl a few months ago and now maybe pregnant again with my second child wich wasnt planed wich my daughter was im playing the waiting game ! best of luck to you and your little one !
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  #7  
August 28th, 2012, 12:08 AM
Athme's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: St Paul, Minnesota
Posts: 1,269
Take things as they come, day by day. Don't beat yourself up about your feelings, they are normal! If I had been through what you had I don't know that I would be as strong as you.

I wish you the best with everything.
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  #8  
August 30th, 2012, 04:21 PM
anjawb's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Western Mass
Posts: 974
Im glad your feeling better about the new addition! I just read the original post, and im only sharing this because it might make you feel better about how you were feeling then. My first thought was "If she has had to go through so many miscarriages, and this was a surprise, of course she isn't excited about getting hopeful again and then being disappointed!"

hope everything goes well!
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  #9  
September 2nd, 2012, 06:49 AM
.:Kati:.'s Avatar kyler's mommy
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Location: memphis,TN
Posts: 930
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandel07 View Post
Just wanted to give an update.....
I am starting to feel a little better about things, my pregnancy. I am no longer considering termination and I know that things will work out.
I hope no one sees me a terrible person for my previous thoughts/feeling, I just needed to voice them somewhere....
Sweetie i'm glad you kept the baby,i don't think you're a terrible person at all. I felt this way when i fell pregnant with my son unplanned. It came up a few times following the week after i found out. I can't even imagine my life without him now,we're now considering trying for #2 in 2014.
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  #10  
September 22nd, 2012, 08:14 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 584
I understand the feeling. My husband and I tried to conceive for a year and when we finally did I miscarried 6-8 weeks later. That was January. I told him I was not ready to try again and we made plans to not even think about trying again until after March next year. I got pregnant in May and am due in Feb. While it was easy to accept that I am pregnant it has been very difficult accepting the baby. I am 21 weeks now and some days are better than others but it seems lately like there are more good than bad.
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