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No job, ambiguous relationship status, expecting


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  • 2 Post By ElliotsMommy13
  • 1 Post By Faerie-mom

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  #1  
December 16th, 2012, 02:00 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1
I am 23 years old, and recently got laid off from my job, and just found out I was pregnant. I've been "dating" the father for just about a month, but it is still just a casual relationship. Well, it was - I have a feeling it's going to get a lot LESS casual starting now. He makes decent money, but there is no way I want to leave the financial burden on him. I am looking to apply for jobs - luckily, I'm only about 5 weeks along so I have some time to get some interviews before I start showing. There is no way I want to have an abortion, clearly, but I am absolutely terrified for several reasons, and could use some advice in regards to ALL of them.

1. I have no job, and hopefully I can find one to start saving up. But, even if I do, I have about $40 grand in student debt and $3,000 in credit card debt (which was $5,000 so it's better but not great) and just don't know how I can manage to keep increasing my debt, support myself and a child, and pay even the most basic living expenses. I do have a Bachelor's and will have a year of Master's work under my belt on my due date, so I've at least got that going for me.

2. As I just found out today, I have not told the father. And I'm not sure how to. I'm also terrified because we JUST started dating, and things have been going AMAZING, he treats me like a princess and we haven't hit any road bumps. But a baby is a HUGE thing, and I just don't know how to go about saying, "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a pregnancy test, I'm having your baby." (Sorry, that song was just on the radio and I couldn't resist the urge to make that terrible joke!)

3. Has anyone been a student during pregnancy/raising a newborn? I will have a year left of my Master's degree and, though my courses are online, I just don't know that I'll be able to do schoolwork after just having a baby.
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  #2  
December 16th, 2012, 09:21 PM
ElliotsMommy13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,668
Hey,
I dont have much comfort for you but I am in a situation similar. Im 24. I have 12k left in student loans, almost done my seasonal nothing job, and about 12k on my car. I need a new job asap but so exhausted all the time. I am 7 weeks along. I am keeping the baby but no daddy as it was a one time situation I let myself be alone with someone I barely knew who thought no means yes. I know this guy will never come near this child or even know. I know some people might judge but I cannot chance this kind of person in my life. So, I know I wont get child support. As for medical, I just got signed up for state medical. I hate having to do it, but I am going to for this baby. I hope school is possible after or if there is some student aid for it because I would love to get my masters but it seems impossible now. Just wanted to say.. no matter what the daddy wants to do, you aren't alone.
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  #3  
December 16th, 2012, 09:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,198
Hi,

You really arent the only one going thru this. Im 22 years old. One semester away from my nursing degree. I have my license as an OB tech. I am doing this as a single mother (although babys dad has recently appeared again) and im 19 weeks along. Ive gone my entire pregnancy alone and expect to continue on my own as it seems the babys father is unreliable.

I was in my relationship for less then.a month and surprisingly I got pregnant.
I weighed each option and an abortion was out of the ideas.
The father jumped to his freedom and disappeared. No support and no care of anything.

My advice, keep on doing what you need to do.
Im going to school still,.im working only half my hours.. But believe me, a pregnancy is worth it. I had no clue how to even start planni.g a new life esp if I was alone. But I did and with each day it gets better. The babys father has no input in my choices, he has no right to that. He left when I needed him and he proved his childish personalitiy.
I say tell your boyfriend now. Hes either gonna be your biggest support or he will do you a big favor and leave while its still early. Which I pray he doesnt. And id also confide in a close friend or.family member, just so you have support.
Im in pretty much the same shoes as you just a few weeks ahead. If you need anything, feel free to message me. Im always up for a talk. Lol being.single and pregnant gives me alot of free time.

So message me and we can talk more
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  #4  
December 17th, 2012, 06:17 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1
I'm a bit older than you ladies and not in the exact same situation, but I wanted to offer you some hope. I had my first child in my late teens and was able to go on and get my bachelors degree despite having a young child. I am currently expecting twins and am working on my master's degree. It is not impossible. With or without help, if you make your focus school (and baby of course) then you'll find the time you need to get it all done. Good luck.

As an aside, I hope he is willing to help out. My husband and I were a newer couple like you in the beginning and we've been happily married 10 years now. We started off on a Walgreen's clerk "salary". You do what you must. Wishing everyone the best.
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birth announcement , graduate school , panic attacks , single , unemployed

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