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i just need some non judgemental opinions. ugh


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  • 1 Post By Lyndsey2013

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  #1  
December 25th, 2012, 01:17 PM
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ugh. i dont know where to begin. well let me start off by saying in 27 no children. i work at a hospital and im going to be a RN in May when i finish school. i got my own place, my own car and am pretty content with where I am in life considering of where I have been.

but heres where things get a little complicated.

ive been single for a while. with school work and everything else its tough to balance a relationship too. ive been seeing some kid for a little while .. but nothing kind of came from it. we went out the night before thanksgiving, had a little too much to drink, and well you can figure out the rest. we didnt talk much since then bc it was sort of awkward - more on his part.

fast forward to now - i am currently 6 weeks pregnant. im scared, confused and dont know what to do. when i told him about it he basically said he wanted me to get an abortion because he wasnt ready to have a child and he prob wasnt going to be in the childs life and left it at that. he was very cold about the whole thing. the only thing is i cant have an abortion. that would be so emotional regretting and something i would have to deal with for a lifetime. i would inevitable be destroying something that is living inside of me.

i always thought of having children with a husband and family etc when the time was right, but because of one mistake i am left here about to raise a child alone. im very strong and i know i can do it i just feel very ashamed that it has come to this. idk what to do really. im afraid to tell my family bc i dont want them to think differently of me. i already told my closest friends who are very supportive but they arent in my shoes. what would you do? i need some opinions now that im left in this situation.
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  #2  
December 25th, 2012, 01:36 PM
ElliotsMommy13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Seattle
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I am so sorry. I have to tell you I am in almost the exact situation but Im 8weeks 4days now. I am not in the position to do it but I know it is going to be hard but I cant get an abortion. I am doing it alone myself at 24 years old. I always thought life would be in a different order, too. I don't have words of comfort yet as I am still going through it. Just know you aren't alone and if you ever wanted to private message me, feel free.

Also, the first person I told was my mom and she was surprisingly alright with it.. she's now even excited.
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  #3  
December 25th, 2012, 01:39 PM
Lyndsey2013's Avatar Mom to 2 + 3
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Posts: 848
It sounds like you are doing all of the right things. I am personally in a different situation because my boyfriend and I are doing this together. However, my cousin had a baby from a one-night stand, and the baby's dad wanted nothing to do with the child. She was lucky to have family around to help out at first, but eventually she met a man who *was* ready to take on the role of 'dad', and they are now married and have an 8 month old in addition to her 3 year old first born. Things will work out for you even if you must be a single mom. Don't be hasty just because something seems like the right thing to do. Follow your instinct and everything will be okay (not easy, but they will work out).
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  #4  
December 25th, 2012, 02:08 PM
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thank you for the replies. that helps alot getting positive feedback. i really appreciate it.
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  #5  
December 25th, 2012, 02:19 PM
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melissa i would love to keep in touch thru this whole process. as i am new to this site, i cant figure out how to message you! message me when you can.
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  #6  
December 25th, 2012, 04:56 PM
ElliotsMommy13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I sent you a message.. should be in your notifications
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  #7  
December 25th, 2012, 05:47 PM
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Sorry things are so confusing right now. This too shall pass and you may begin to feel different. Telling your family may be the one thing that helps you make sense of all this. I know its hard. Been there, don't that! But with the right support system all things are possible.
Have you thought about adoption?

Sorry things are so confusing right now. This too shall pass and you may begin to feel different. Telling your family may be the one thing that helps you make sense of all this. I know its hard. Been there, don't that! But with the right support system all things are possible.
Have you thought about adoption?
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  #8  
December 26th, 2012, 10:09 AM
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thank you Laura. it is hard but you never know it could become a blessing. adoption is not an option for me especially at 27! i am physically capable to take care of a child, im stable, and independant. i just never thought id be at this point without be married or in a steady relationship. but ill get thru this it may be tough but god would never give me anything i couldnt handle.

melissa its telling me i dont have access to send msgs. so weird. i dont understand it. i cant even read yours.
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  #9  
December 26th, 2012, 11:29 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 18
Not sure why you can't send messages. Maybe you have to post so many before they let you send messages. I think that's what happened to me.
What may feel and seem like a devistating situation now, can truly be a blessing in the long run. Hard to feel that right now but one day you will look back and say, Wow, if all that hadn't happened I wouldn't be where I am now, and have what I have. Babies are precious blessings that's for sure! Even in what feels like the hardest situation. Every day is a new day.
Wishing you all the best!! Hang in there and take it one day at a time. Oh and pray for strength to tell your family. They could be your biggest support system which is exactly what you need right now.
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  #10  
January 5th, 2013, 04:24 PM
Lyndsey2013's Avatar Mom to 2 + 3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katie_ann1 View Post
thank you Laura. it is hard but you never know it could become a blessing. adoption is not an option for me especially at 27! i am physically capable to take care of a child, im stable, and independant. i just never thought id be at this point without be married or in a steady relationship. but ill get thru this it may be tough but god would never give me anything i couldnt handle.

melissa its telling me i dont have access to send msgs. so weird. i dont understand it. i cant even read yours.
I think you only need 10 posts, so you are almost there
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  #11  
January 5th, 2013, 07:08 PM
ElliotsMommy13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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hmm.. well, when you have more posts maybe?
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  #12  
January 31st, 2013, 06:55 PM
Kholmes04's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Jacksonville North Carolina
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Katie, If your family loves you they will be acceptive and helpful. At first things may be tough, your family maybe shocked at first but give them time. After they have had time to accept they will gladly open their arms up to you and your child. The father of the baby is obviously immature and needs to grow up but you can do this sweetie. You are a strong woman and you are ready to be a mom!!! Don't give up don't be ashamed!! All things happen for a reason
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