Log In Sign Up

So confused and not sure what to do.


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Unplanned Pregnancy LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
January 15th, 2013, 12:07 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1
I am not sure what I should do…

I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year...been living together for four months. I am 29 and he is 27. Well I just found out that I am five weeks pregnant. This was not planned, I am on birth control..and took it the same time every night. Well when I told my boyfriend…the first thing he told me to do was, to find a clinic and we will get rid of it. I was pissed off at him for that, not even asking me if I am ok. I’m not against people doing that, and I even thought about it once I found out…It just the first thing to come out of his mouth was that.

No way I can raise a baby by myself…I only say that, because my boyfriends work is transferring to New Jersey, we are in Texas. We talked about once he gets settle in I could move up there, but that was before we found out I was pregnant….Now with me being pregnant, I can’t move up there, I need to be on insurance. I have a good stable job here. Also it seems we were heading towards a breakup…even before the whole pregnancy thing.

His reason behind why I should get one, is because it’s not the right time. That he would pay child support and not be able to see the child or me. That wouldn’t be fair to him. I have thought about going through with an abortion, but when I think about it, I get the feeling in my stomach like I wouldn’t be able to go through with it, like I will regret it. I don't know what to do. I want the baby but don’t want it to have no dad. I want him in the child’s life. And don’t want to be on my own through it all. I know I will be struggling raising the child..and I know my family would be there for me but it’s not the same. Not sure what I should do?!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
January 15th, 2013, 12:25 PM
Excited first time mommy!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 245
Sorry to hear that you're going through all of this. I am lucky to have a supportive daddy in my life for our baby and I don't know how I'd get through all of this without him. However... I know someone who ended their pregnancy with the pushing of their partner almost two decades ago and she still wishes she wouldn't have listened to him. I think the risks of abortion outweigh the risk of a child not having a father... It's not the worst thing and you'd be amazed how strong you can be. My opinion is to encourage you to have more faith in yourself to raise this child with or without the father's involvement. If you do stay with the father and have an abortion, the emotional turmoil is far worse and will probably end your relationship as I've seen it happen countless times.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
January 16th, 2013, 09:31 PM
ElliotsMommy13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,668
I am so sorry you are going through this.. but I'd say listen to your heart. Im keeping mine and the father will not ever have to pay support (as he wont work) and will not have anything to do with it at all. If you've got a guy willing to do the right thing regardless of if he wants it now or not.. then I'd say you should keep it if you want it. I remember my first ultrasound at 7 weeks from my last period.. and I saw the head moving around and heart beating already. Its life.. Plus, worst case scenario.. if you do it yourself.. state assistance is there temporarily if you need it to get on your feet. Im not an advocate of living off of it.. but if you need it, it is there. You will be fine.
__________________

thank you so much to bokkechick for my siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
January 17th, 2013, 01:41 PM
mrsjl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia
Posts: 4,879
if you think you might regret it, you will. you will always wonder "what if" but if you keep it, you will NEVER look at your child and say "I wish I had gotten an abortion"

having a life with 'only' a loving and devoted mother and no father is better than no life at all, IMO.
__________________
Lori
mom to
Rebecca (11/22/07), Nathan (7/31/10), and Thomas (5/3/13)

Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:14 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0