We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
I just found out that I'm about 5.5 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 14 (8 years), and we live together in an apartment. We're very in love and have always talked about how much we can't wait to get married and have a family. The only thing we've been waiting for is for me to finish school and start working. I'm graduating with my BSc in the spring, and am waiting to hear about medical school admissions sometime in the next month.
Getting pregnant right now was not a part of my plan. Of course I love my boyfriend, and I want to have children with him, but I don't feel ready. I'm not sure where having this baby will leave my med school plans, and we're definitely not in the financial situation I imagined we'd be in when this time came.
I am terrified, and I wish I wasn't. My boyfriend is over the moon, he couldn't be happier. His family is the same way. My parents on the other hand were disappointed when I told them, they worry that I'm throwing my opportunities away and they feel like I'm too young for this.
I just don't know what to do. I want to be happy and excited, because this is such an amazing thing. I want to have faith like my boyfriend does that things will work out. But I'm worried about how we will handle it financially, and about how this will impact my plans for my education and career. My boyfriend just blew up at me because he doesn't understand why I'm not more happy. I need clarity.
I just wanted to encourage you that it is possible to continue with your plans, especially with such an excited and supporting father of the baby. My first child was a surprise -- we were planning to wait until my husband got his phd and we got back from living overseas. Well, things didn't happen like we expected. Yes, financially it was challenging for a few years, but she is now almost nine, and honestly we look back at that 'mistake' as one of the best things that happened to us.
It's not unusual at all to feel scared and conflicted -- becoming a mother is a crazy and wonderful thing and it will take time for you to adjust to it mentally. But I'm confident that you will come to delight in it if not now, very soon. And when your sweet son or daughter is in your arms I know you won't have a single regret and the joy they bring you will make it easier to deal with the challeges of finishing your schooling.
Don't worry about medschool! There are many women going through it who have kids and are experiencing planned pregnancies. You just have the added wrinkle that everything isn't as settled as you'd like.
Be prepared, though. It may mean that you need to take a semester off to adjust. But that is OKAY! Meet with your advisor to arrange it all out. You may be able to snag a part-time nursing assistant gig somewhere that will give you extra training and experience (kinda like an internship).
I cried the first full day I found out I was pregnant. I definitely dont have everything figured out yet.. but after seeing ultrasounds and heartbeats Im excited.. yet still scared. This is going to be scary but it will all work out. Plus, if your BF is sooo thrilled, that means you will have tons of support at home. That is GREAT!
No one is ever ready for a child. Even if its planned. It's life changing. Very normal to feel the way you are feeling.
I planned my life according to my standards. Graduate high school, get into college, get into my nursing program, get my private practitioners license and then figure out my family status/kids.
None of that seemed impossible. I was set on having kids by 28 at the latest. But things happen. I found myself pregnant at 22... In the middle of transitioning to my practitioners degree AND working full time in the university hospital.
No one is ever ready. You were blessed with a child. Embrace it. Let your boyfriend be supportive. You are very lucky to have that. I'm one of those women whose single and my child's father walked away. I am now 24 weeks pregnant and still going to school and working. Anything is possible. Having a child isn't a reason to let go of your dreams or goals. Having a child makes all those goals worth reaching for.
Good luck to you.. I know it's a tough choice.. A big choice but in the end it's all you. And your heart will lead you the right way.
I have a dear friend who got preg while in med school, the father wanted nothing to do withh the child =(...she has gone on to complete med school, is now a doctor and has a beautiful 5 year old daughter!!!! She made it work, it took some help and some adjustments, but I know she wouldn't have it any other way.
I agree...PROPS to your BF....that should make everything easier or at least confirm what a GREAT guy he is!
You can't help how you feel. Wouldn't it be great if we could choose our feelings? You're feeling like this for a reason, fear..shock...wondering how you will make it work....all normal and rationale thoughts. In fact, I'm sure it is these thoughts that will ensure that you do make it work because you will think it through so thoroughly and will not go into everything blindly!! you got this...congrats!!!!!!
....excitement will come...trust me....all in time.....
There are ways to continue with your dreams even after having a baby. Of course, you have to make adjustments but if you are really determined with your dreams, then you can achieve it. Just make your baby an inspiration for you to strive harder.