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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  • 7 Post By Dhartanya
  • 2 Post By ElliotsMommy13
  • 1 Post By outtheblue
  • 2 Post By left_field
  • 2 Post By MerinSun
  • 1 Post By eshute
  • 1 Post By chelseamb

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  #1  
March 2nd, 2013, 10:44 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1
fioshg

Last edited by pheobesmith; February 13th, 2014 at 11:42 AM. Reason: azhwefh
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  #2  
March 3rd, 2013, 12:23 AM
Dhartanya's Avatar Paleo Mommy-to-be
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Delta, BC
Posts: 2,388
You need to make this decision for you. Not for him and not for his family.

IMHO I wouldn't be aborting this baby for the reasons you gave.
If you do abort to make his and his family happy, you will most likey regret it.

And honestly, no real man would ask the women he loves to abort his child because his mom might disown him.
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  #3  
March 3rd, 2013, 07:25 AM
ElliotsMommy13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,668
I would definitely not abort for those reasons... I'd say you can do it alone with your family support since they know and are ok with it and your boyfriend can be part if he wants. I'm doing it alone. You can do it. Don't let him bully you. Your baby is defenseless.. Your boyfriend is a big boy.. He can either face his actions or run away.. That should have no impact on this child.. Plus, you don't know how his mother will react.. She might spoil her grand kid. He's just proving he should not be having sex if he can't be an adult about what can happen.. Plus, if you want to give the baby a shot, don't face the guilt that you'll have later. In the first 12 weeks its always riskier of miscarriage. At 7 weeks I thought I lost my baby from bleeding and went to the hospital and saw the little head attached to a blob and a heartbeat on the ultrasound already. If the baby implants in where it should, your chances of losing it are much much smaller.. You'll be fine.. If you want to keep the baby you should set an appointment to begin the pregnancy monitoring at the doctors and get yourself some prenatal vitamins.
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Last edited by ElliotsMommy13; March 3rd, 2013 at 01:31 PM.
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  #4  
March 3rd, 2013, 07:37 AM
outtheblue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: North Georgia
Posts: 2,333
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahbethhind View Post
But I don't want to regret an abortion for the rest if my life because I'm really starting to love my baby and have been having really terrible nightmares about losing them and being a murderer. In terms of finance and upbringing I'm not worried, my mum says she will support me through any decision and my family are really caring, and I'm not a heavily career driven person anyway, I'm open to study at home and part time uni when I'm a bit older - I've always desperately wanted a family.
I think you have your answer right there!

You can do it...it might be hard but as the years go by it will get better. It sounds like you have a great supportive family and that matters. My sister got pregnant around that age...she's 35 now with 3 kids and is a RN. Heck, I'm 24 and pregnant and haven't finished my degree. I'm doing it online and will finish one day.
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Last edited by outtheblue; March 3rd, 2013 at 07:44 AM.
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  #5  
March 3rd, 2013, 07:54 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,141
Your boyfriend wants you to abort so he doesn't get disowned by his parents, but asking you as a parent to kill your child..... if you abort this child it is killed before even having a chance at life. You already said yourself you are starting to love this baby, so I know you won't bring your self to do it. I will pray for you and your journey. Hugs to you and be strong... Think of that precious baby who is a part of you and who is depending on you. You are his momma. BIG HUGS to you and your baby.
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  #6  
March 3rd, 2013, 10:03 AM
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Location: Cincinnati, OH
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Quote:
he loves me and the baby and wants his own children, he's so afraid of his parents disowning him from his family, as they warned him when we started going out
In all my years of experience hearing from teenagers and young adults about how their families would disown them or cut them off if they get pregnant I have seen exactly ZERO actually do it. Many people resort to strong language like this because they think it will be a strong deterrent and an incentive to not have sex. They're going to be mad at him but that's his problem (he decided to have sex and that ended in getting you pregnant. You didn't just wake up one day and say "Okay! Now I'm pregnant!" and poof! there it was). And his family will get over it and themselves.
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  #7  
March 4th, 2013, 08:17 AM
MIL2lissy8's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: southern cali
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I agree with all the posts answering you. from both sides of the coin, I would encourage you to stay pregnant and go from there with the attitude that you can do it. its going to go either of two ways -- he will be involved or he won't be involved. I say, from personal experience, count on yourself and not him. I also would give you hope that all the parents will adjust to the situation--again btdt. I never regretted my decision to give birth and I love ALL my grandbabies, no matter what their story is.
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  #8  
March 6th, 2013, 07:40 AM
Classy's Avatar Love my 3 girls!
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 813
Don't allow yourself to be pressured into an abortion. My friend went through with it due to pressure- she regrets it. Once his family sees the baby they will change their minds or miss out on an amazing blessing. Be strong, you have a supportive Mom and that is great. Don't let anyone else make this decision for you. (hugs)
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  #9  
March 6th, 2013, 08:36 AM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 1,573
Because you'd regret your decision, I'd advice NOT getting an abortion. I believe in every woman's choice, but I believe that if you know it's going to be a regret, you shouldn't do it. You obviously love this child already, and you have the support of YOUR family. Your boyfriend's family will come around at some point. Even though the baby's father and I are 26 and live outside of our families' homes, he struggled with having this child and his family was NOT supportive at all in the beginning. I made my decision to keep the baby because there's no way I could live the rest of my life wondering, plus I've always wanted kids. After a month or two, the father came around and started getting more involved and since then, I've met his entire family and they've all been very nice and supportive. A baby is an amazing gift, and I highly doubt your boyfriend's family will be able to resist. You're not at any more risk of complications than anyone else. Just be sure to eat as healthy as you can and go to your doctor's appointments on time. You'll be just fine. Good luck!
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  #10  
March 8th, 2013, 04:07 PM
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You won't regret having your son or daughter, but an abortion could be something you never get past and could end the relationship with your boyfriend. Also, your boyfriend needs to man up and not be cowed by his mother. You may want to consider whether you really want to be married to a boy who puts his mother first, instead of a man who put his own family (his child and his child's mother) first, since you are talking about marriage down the road.
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  #11  
March 11th, 2013, 09:48 AM
chelseamb's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 11,391
My grandparents disowned me.... For like 6 months!!! That it ! And they love my kids, spoil then rotten! It drives me nuts! But I had the same problems as you with decisions. But mine were all my family trying to convince me what's best. Let me say this... I was newly 18, pregnant and I broke up with the dad.... I was alone. I had my son, went back to school and got my diploma while studying at home. I got a job saved up and we moved out on our own... I had another miracle oopsie baby when I was 24 .... His dad( long story) wasn't there... So in turn I ended up raising two beautiful boys on my own!!!! No one thought I could but not only did I do it but I did it with style!!!! Lol

Hold your head up and know that this is a hard decision only because its not what you want. Go with your heart! If it was the right choice to abort you wouldn't have a hard time making the choice. My thoughts are with you
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