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I had a medical abortion about 3 weeks ago and I'm finding it really difficult to deal with, I am saddened with guilt. I feel like the only thing that would make me happy is to have a baby but I know that isn't the right thing to do. I was just wondering if anyone has been though this themselves and feels comfortable messaging me with some support or just as someone to talk to as I feel I have no one at the moment I think because fear of admitting that I'm not coping is holding me back. I understand it's a tough subject but if anyone is willing to talk I'd really appreciate it, I'm not too sure how to message on this so if someone could perhaps talk me through that as well. Thank you in advance.
May I ask why you choose abortion?
Guilt is a common feeling after abortion ... among other emotions. If you consider the reasons why you choose this route it might make it easier to cope with the what ifs
I am 19 and was travelling at the time when I found out I was pregnant, I was on birth control but was very ill with S+D at the time when I would have conceived hence it was a complete shock to find out I was pregnant. My partner instantly said he didn't want to keep the baby and previous to me finding out we'd talked of going our seperate ways. I however already felt the baby was apart of me, after talking to my mum she said she'd support me in whatever decision I made, my partner was completely unsupportive meaning I had to return from New Zealand back to the UK. I went through a very tough two weeks prior to the abortion where I decided I was adamant I wanted to keep the baby, I got grief from my parents and my ex partner 24/7 I couldn't cope with the resentment from my mother so I decided to just book the abortion. She instantly changed her tune and was back playing the supportive role. I now feel like I made the wrong decision but I don't know if that's still hormones. I think about it everyday, I think along with the abortion I've had a lot to come to terms with in way of the split from my partner and coming back to the UK after 'living the dream' travelling and I don't really have anything now I'm home, friends have all moved on, I don't have a job or a car and no independence, I know it's going to take time to build those things up but the way I'm feeling at the moment isn't helping me to look to the future. This is a very long response, sorry.
I don't have any experience in the field of abortion grief but I'm always happy to lend an ear. If you want to messages or anyone else you can click on the username and click either 'send private message' or 'send email.'
I haven't been through your situation, but I would be very happy to talk with you if you like. I can also try to put you in touch with someone near you area that could help you work through this grief. Message me if either interests you. There is also a board here on just mommies that is for women who have had abortions. It's private, so I don't know what kind of support you'll get there as I can't view it, but you could take a look.
Most importantly please don't keep this all inside. You sound like you are really consumed with sadness and I want so badly for you to be able to work through it so it doesn't eat at you. I'm so very sorry for what you've gone through and sincerely hope we can be of some help in this horribly difficult time.
Brooke, happy mama to one girl (9), and four boys (7, 5, 3, and 2) and a surprise post-vasectomy miracle baby born February 7.
I agree - it's not good to keep the emotions in. It helps to let them out and talk to someone about how you're feeling.
I terminated a pregnancy when I was 18 and I remember going through several emotional ups and downs for months afterwards. I was only 5-6 weeks along when I made my decision so the hormone effect was tolerable.
Just keep thinking of your future goals and dreams, little by little you'll get there. Every day is one step closer.
It took me 10+ years before I got pregnant and now that I have a little girl, I can see how difficult it would have been to handle a newborn at 18. It's a complete change of life.
PM me if you need to chat, I am also on the Survivors of Abortion board although it's not really active. I believe you need to have 100 posts before you can join though.