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Unexpected Mama


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  • 1 Post By MerinSun
  • 1 Post By ducksaresnazzy
  • 1 Post By KelBV

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  #1  
October 24th, 2013, 10:12 PM
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 10
Found out I was pregnant today, the test showed positive almost instantly. I keep thinking there's no way that it's really positive, but the results were so clear and we've never used bc just the pull out method... so really how surprised can I be. I'm in my mid-twenties in a very happy and healthy relationship. We are both about to graduate from college this month and next. We live together and we have plans to move across the country for a job offer once he graduates. We have savings and we manage our money well, but I realize that our budget is about to change big time, off the bat that's one of my biggest concerns. I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet because I'm still in such disbelief, this really is a shock. I took a test this morning after being late for my period and having all kinds of weird symptoms...drastic moods, sore chest, lightheadness, twinging pain in my left side about two weeks ago, craving peanut butter (which I usually hate), total aversions to our scented candles, weird dreams about water and headaches. I thought this was stress related due to my upcoming finals tomorrow, but the more I searched the more I thought "I might be pregnant" and once I thought it I kind of almost just knew. I know my boyfriend is going to notice the absence of my period soon and I want to wait to test again until he mentions I'm late. I'm terrified to tell his family because his older brother and his wife are trying to conceive right now and now we're expecting. This is completely unplanned, I'm so nervous and scared but I am also so grateful for the blessing I know this baby will be, my head is spinning with everything to do. I took care of the basics, I called my obgyn and I don't have my first appointment until November 14th and in the meantime I guess I just wait... What are all you other unexpected mamas doing to ease your nerves, tell family members, and prepare for this huge life change?!
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  #2  
October 25th, 2013, 04:10 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 1,834
Sounds like you've got things pretty well in hand! Congrats! Best thing you can do to help you feel confident in sharing the news: Go to a baby store and just look at the clothing and toys. OMIGOSH is that fun! Just don't look at the price tags, lol. I was horrified the other day at Babies R Us when i found a $40 outfit. I go to really nice resale shops so I'm used to only spending a few dollars on each outfit.
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  #3  
October 25th, 2013, 10:43 AM
ducksaresnazzy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: new york
Posts: 2,360
i was 17 when i got pregnant with my baby. i was a 2nd year college student, i had my own car, my own job, my boyfriend had a job as well and we'd been together just over two years at that point. i was terrified to tell people. the first person i told after my boyfriend was actually a girl i work with who i'm pretty good friends with. i put it off finding out until my 2nd trimester. i took myself shopping and bought the baby a cute little outfit with colored dinosaurs all over it. i got my nails done. then i told my mom and she told everyone else.

i am also a big planner. i made lists. a list of big things i'd need for baby, little things, how many diapers in each size i'd need, things to do at home to prepare, a charted inventory i could fill in as we got things for the baby, things i'd need for myself, two lists of foods (one i could eat and one i couldn't), i drew up a new budget for Nate and me. i copied them all into one notebook and still look at them when i feel stressed.

there was another girl i worked with who was trying to conceive. she was married and had two stepdaughters she adored, but she wanted to have her own child with her husband. they had been trying since their engagement (2+ years) and had just suffered a miscarriage. telling her was the worst. she was happy for me, but i could tell she was hurting. i brought up the baby and pregnancy only when she did after the initial announcement because i didn't want to make her uncomfortable. she got pregnant 2 months after i did though so my situation got a lot less painful.
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  #4  
October 26th, 2013, 07:27 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 10
Thank you both for your replies, hearing how other people have handled this makes it a little easier to process. I'm still in shock LOL I wonder when that will wear off... My boyfriend gave me a charm yesterday for "new beginnings" after I passed my last college final and he wrote me a card telling me he'll love, support and encourage me through anything. I totally cried of course, I'm so lucky to have him and while I wanted to tell him then I decided to still wait till he mentions it. We're suppose to go to a huge Halloween party tonight with his brother and sister-in-law, I don't know how I'm going to get away with not drinking, but I'm hoping they'll be having too much fun to notice. With my first and second appointment being right before thanksgiving I wondered if waiting for the holiday would be a good time to announce it to our families?
Ducksaresnazzy I'm definitely a planner myself so I think writing down lists will help a lot, thanks for the tip! Time to go browse baby clothes and let this all sink in.
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  #5  
October 28th, 2013, 06:01 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 6
I found out I was pregnant the day before I left for a week long trip without my husband. I was so nervous about how I would handle things. I didn't want to tell hubby and then leave for a week so I didn't tell him. I then had to figure out how to tell my work mates I would be with for the first half of the trip that I wasn't going to drink. I work in the wine industry so you can imagine how much that stressed me out. I certainly couldn't tell my work mates before my husband knew. Oh, and by the way, my husband is 52 and we never planned to have children (although we never really planned to not have children...clearly). The second part of my trip was across the country to visit my sister who had just moved across the county. Although my sister isn't a big drinker I was always the one to walk into her house, open the fridge and look for a beer. She had also been telling me about his awesome new beer she had discovered. The funny thing is when I was at her house she was telling me about a conversation she had with her kids about getting along because when the family is all gone they will only have each other because they don't have cousins. Ha!

Anyway, I got through the work trip by saying I was cutting back to one drink per day (I know this probably makes some people squirm but lots of women drink a lot before they even know they're pregnant so I figured one drink wasn't going to cause a problem). I felt guilty and took very small sips throughout the evening to stretch it out. At my sister's I told her I was taking a one month alcohol fast because I had been drinking too much and needed to get things under control. It worked.

So, when I came back from my trip the conversation with hubby didn't go well. He was really stressed out at work and planned to leave mid-week to go to our second home to relax. To top it off, he had a friend stay over that night so I didn't want to break the new to him and not be able to talk to him. The next morning, he was going to leave for work and then head to our other house so after his friend left the house I sat him down and said I needed him to go to an appointment with me the following day because it would be life changing. He got the point and went through a bunch of emotions simultaneously but he was understanding. I told him I didn't want to tell him like that but he was going to run away and that was probably the only thing I could say to get him to stay. Later that day he sent me a text that he loved me and we would talk that night.

So, long reply but that's my story of telling and not telling. I haven't told any family or friends yet because I want to wait until the genetic testing is cleared (we're both above the age risk level...I'm 35). BTW-I'm freaking about all the financial changes and other changes that need to happen in a relatively short period (see my post from a few days ago). Good luck and stay positive!
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  #6  
October 28th, 2013, 07:25 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 535
I can't add much to what these other ladies have said, but I wouldn't wait to tell your boyfriend, that could backfire most horribly. Especially if your wrong and he doesn't really notice that you're late.
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