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Custody issue question


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
August 16th, 2006, 08:45 AM
Nedene's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have to start this question out as a story... please bare with me...

I was with my ex back in january when i became preganat, we wern't together but we were involved, and i was also involved with the man who is now my husband... well i told my ex that the baby could not be his, well now he is stalking me and calling my phone constantly..... ( i've since cnanged my phone number and filed a police report for the non- stop phone calls, and he was a abusive and i don't want my child near him)

He has told me he wants my baby wather it's his of not...

but my question is.... as far as taking my to court for paturnity tests go what can he do??? i know he can take me to court and do a test but dose he have to wait till the baby is born... (i'm scared to death of him and i want to know what he can try to do against me??

Please give me your advise and opinions,

Thank You,
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  #2  
August 16th, 2006, 08:50 AM
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Oh, sorry your going through this. Good for you for reporting him to the police.

As far as taking you to court for paternity tests, he can file before the baby is born, but he (nor the courts) can force you to have an invasive paternity test (ie. prenatal). The actual testing would have to wait until the baby is born and then be done with a harmless cheek swab.
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  #3  
August 16th, 2006, 11:53 AM
ashley *'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I've looked into these laws for myself...

In Pennsylvania at least, since thats where I live, the child is the child of the mother and soley of the mother until the courts say otherwise. Meaning, until he goes to courts and gets some custody (he will very doubtfully get sole custody) he has no rights to your baby. They can't force an invasive paternity test, but you can request one once the baby is born. Make him pay for it, he'll probably change his tune then! I don't know if this is different in other states.

Good for you for reporting him, that'll help you in court.
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  #4  
August 16th, 2006, 12:39 PM
Nedene's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you for the information...
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  #5  
August 16th, 2006, 03:23 PM
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Paternity tests and court costs are expensive. If he is actually going to take you to court, it'll take him a while (unless he's rich and likes blowing money on things like this?). If he COULD BE the father, you need to go ahead and not fight the paternity test. He has the right to know whether it is his baby or not, no matter what type of person he is. JMO.
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  #6  
August 16th, 2006, 07:23 PM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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If your husband signs the birth certificate and acknowledges paternity there's almost no way the court will order a paternity test for this other bozo. All the court wants is to see the child supported and cared for. As long as someone steps up to the plate the courts don't care if its the real father or not. GL.
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  #7  
August 16th, 2006, 08:33 PM
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He can't do anything (In some states).

Was the child conceived before you got married or after?

I think you should get a protective order against him for yourself and your unborn child.
He is making threats about kidnapping your child. Since this child was conceived (i'm going to go out on a limb here) out of wedlock the child is illegitimate; therefore, making you the sole custodian and parental/guardian party of this child. If he tries to take the child he would be kidnapping him/her.

It is KEY that you get a family protection order against this person.

I called a shelter in OH and they said he does have rights over the child if he is the father. The lady did say something about Having to file for custody.
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  #8  
August 16th, 2006, 08:47 PM
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Here's a link to places you can call and ask:

http://literacy.kent.edu/Oasis/abuse/ohio.html

YOu need to ask them if he has to legitimize the child before he can have parental rights.
You also need to ask them how you can file for a protective order, it's free.
If you get a protective order---They'll have an exparte hearing, a six month hearing, and a year hearing, and at the year one, I believe, you get to decide how long you get to keep the protective order and yes, it can be permanent.
You have to remember that there has to be some sort of physical abuse and or death threat or something along those lines (maybe even kidnap will fall into this category) for the judge to sign the order.

Anyway, I hope this helps even if it's just a little.
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  #9  
August 18th, 2006, 09:54 AM
Nedene's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Here's a link to places you can call and ask:

http://literacy.kent.edu/Oasis/abuse/ohio.html

YOu need to ask them if he has to legitimize the child before he can have parental rights.
You also need to ask them how you can file for a protective order, it's free.
If you get a protective order---They'll have an exparte hearing, a six month hearing, and a year hearing, and at the year one, I believe, you get to decide how long you get to keep the protective order and yes, it can be permanent.
You have to remember that there has to be some sort of physical abuse and or death threat or something along those lines (maybe even kidnap will fall into this category) for the judge to sign the order.

Anyway, I hope this helps even if it's just a little.[/b]

Thank you, i'll look into it...
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  #10  
September 2nd, 2006, 09:36 PM
Nicolee
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hey there. make sure you report everything that will help your case more than you know if the baby does turn out to be his. even if that means reportting 100 times. !!! hang in there
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  #11  
September 2nd, 2006, 09:44 PM
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Quote:
I have to start this question out as a story... please bare with me...

I was with my ex back in january when i became preganat, we wern't together but we were involved, and i was also involved with the man who is now my husband... well i told my ex that the baby could not be his, well now he is stalking me and calling my phone constantly..... ( i've since cnanged my phone number and filed a police report for the non- stop phone calls, and he was a abusive and i don't want my child near him)

He has told me he wants my baby wather it's his of not...

but my question is.... as far as taking my to court for paturnity tests go what can he do??? i know he can take me to court and do a test but dose he have to wait till the baby is born... (i'm scared to death of him and i want to know what he can try to do against me??

Please give me your advise and opinions,

Thank You,[/b]
Well, first of all it's great that you've filed a police report. Do it again and again if you have to - it will only help you if you do end up in court with this jerk. Second of all, he can't demand a DNA test until the baby is here .. and even then HE has to pay for it. I know that here in Missouri they are $575 to get done. If he does end up paying for it, you still have to agree to it. I'm not sure of the legalities in your state but here in Missouri if the father of my child wanted to get custody he would have to take me to court, have the court order a dna test, and he would have to pay for it. That's more trouble and money than most men want to put up. If he does happen to put that money up, and it does happen to be his child, just fight him tooth and nail for full custody. There's not much more you can do if it is his kid. Make sure you make the police reports truthfully but as detailed as possible. Use everything you can against him in court and make him spend all of his time and money fighting. Eventually he will (hopefully) give up. Good luck.
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  #12  
September 2nd, 2006, 11:00 PM
asianmama
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in oregon one of my guy friends tried to get custody of his 8 month old daughter and he lost the case because the courts said that the baby needs her mother.... her mother is the worst mother in the world.....(smokes,drinks,does alchol, leaves the baby by herself and gets high in the other room... she is 18 or 19 and really doesnt care about the child)
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  #13  
September 5th, 2006, 06:54 AM
Nedene's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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yeah after he called and called we had the house number changed, and we are moving into a house we just bought so he will nolonger have my address,(with an unlisted number) and that alone makes half the stress go away.. so now i know he won't show up at my door steps and try to take my baby..

Thank you for all the advise and info..
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  #14  
September 6th, 2006, 10:48 AM
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Honestly...in all states the husband is always considered the legal father of any child born with in a marriage. Your ex can file for paternity but if it comes up negative he has no further recourse to obtain custody or have involvement in the child's life.

Of course should he be the father you can always insist on child support and he will in turn ask for visitation. I would document the harrasment and stalking behaviors....file for a restraining order if nessicary so that you can show the judge that this person is unsafe and unstable should he be the father. It is likley that they would offer supervised only visitation so that he will never be alone with the child.

Try laborlawtalk.com they have a section for family law - about custody issues - where you can post a question and get replies from people experienced in the legal field.
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