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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
August 17th, 2006, 04:59 PM
Jessy133's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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well to start off i wanted to say thanks to who ever reads this. This is a personal question for all of you. Im asking you all this because i do not know where else to turn. I think that i am 100% preg. but here is my problem...my fiance and i were seperated for a while and put it this way my family was veryyyyyyyyyy happy. They always told me that "he wasnt the one for me"...but i have never felt that way...from the moment i met him i knew i wanted to be with him forever thru good or bad! we got back together a bit ago but i havent told anyone yet...1 because i needed to make sure that us getting back together was a for sure thing and 2 i needed to make sure that i still felt the same about him. He has told everyone on his side of the family of us together again...and that im probably pregnant...hes like soooo excited he always wanted to start a family quick & everyone is excited for us. But this is where my family comes in...my family is the complete opposite...i know that if i tell my mom and my uncle (my uncle is like my father 2 me) they will literally flip out!!!! I happen to mention to them that i had spoken to him on the phone to see what their reaction would be and they almost bit my head off!! Ive always been the type of person that cares about what my family thinks...but a part of me feels i have to do what feels right in my heart. but does that mean i should be willing to lose my family over this man? I know they would lets say disown me and part of me thinks that they should love me no matter what!!! Im totally confused and frustrated i've always wanted to be pregnant and start a family and i feel like he is the right one that i know will make me happy...but no one sees that. My family thinks just because he is not rich and doesnt make a ton of money a yr like they do that i wont be happy becasue im used to a certain lifestyle. Im so sorry im making this so long but i had to vent!!! Im asking all of you for your personal opinions i know that having a child especially unplanned isnt going to be easy...but i feel like it would be worth it no matter what. I had an abortion before when i was 19 and i do not regret the choice becasue i knew that my boyfreind at that time wasnt the person for me...but i do not want to go thru that again.... please any advice would be appreciated!!!!
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  #3  
August 17th, 2006, 05:30 PM
nat81
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I'm sorry you are going throug this. If I where you I would wait until I knew for sure that I was indeed pregnant. You should take a home pregnancy test as soon as AF is late.
Then, you will need to talk to your family... obviously it won't be easy. You'll need to convince them that you love your fiance no matter what and that you are having a child together.
I'm sure they'll be upset at first but hopefully with time they'll come around. In the mean time, feel free to vent all about it here... we're here to listen Hopefully someone will have more insightful advice for you
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  #4  
August 17th, 2006, 05:49 PM
MelissaW's Avatar Super Mommy
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I would go with the guy that I loved, because you sound like you have a family like mine..and if that is the case, they will not like anyone you meet in the future, either. Once they see how happy you are and see the baby for the first time, you will not believe how they will change!
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  #5  
August 17th, 2006, 07:05 PM
Jessy133's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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thank you for your advice...sometimes you need to hear things from people who are going through it or understand...its hard for me because im an only child have no one really close to confide in...i have 4 best friends but they dont understand they dont believe in like marriage and children they are in their PARTY stage in life and i got over that a long time ago...i was always the one dreaming of having kids and getting married and they would always tell me i was crazy. im glad i found this place it nice to know that people are going through the same tough times and confusions as you...i am going to get a blood test done next week if my symptoms still persist...i gaged today didnt actaully vomit..but i felt very sick....so thats one more symptom to add...
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  #6  
August 18th, 2006, 02:04 AM
Pharry's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It would seem easy for me to tell you to tell your family that they should live with the decisions that you make, and in all honesty they should. However the truth is that you will need to sit them down and explain to them that he is the man for you and that you would really appreciate it if they respected your choices. Besides if this is what you want then at the end of the day, thats what matters. I hope that you are able to get along for the sake of the this baby should they be there. Good luck and keep us posted.
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  #7  
August 18th, 2006, 07:02 AM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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hey jessy, i'm an only child too.. not alot of places to turn are there! and those party friends... well lets say if they will listen they are a real friend. otherwise, they were just there for the good times.
sounds like the baby part maybe isnt the scary part for you, its the possible father right? how your family will react to him and his baby. i know you can't ever force family to feel anything good or bad. i know, 99% of the time families just love the baby, they realize its not the baby's choice and its a life to nurture. and they typically go through a period of anger and then they might come around... to not being so angry at you, though, no promises how they'll feel about him. def wait until you know for sure, and then broach the subject with your family.
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  #8  
August 18th, 2006, 07:24 AM
JennieMarie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hey girly! Smile! Anywho I agree when it comes to family... they have only been looking out for you when they say that they dont want you with your fiance... so what makes you think they won't be there for you when you announce you are pregnant... If its only money that they have an issue wiht, just point out everything else that you see in him... but first find out if you are pregnant, no reason to open a can of worms if your not...
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  #10  
August 19th, 2006, 12:41 AM
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My nurse practitioner told me last week that a positive pregnancy test can show up within 7 days of conception---go get one of the early pregnancy tests, it will be worth the peace of mind to have an answer. As far as your guy goes. I totally can relate on your family being in your business and wanting to have an opinion on everthing. Sometimes it's so nice to have a family that cares so much but other times it would be nice if they could just trust you to know yourself and make your own decisions, live your own life, make your own mistakes...whatever!

My advice to you is to trust your instincts and stand by your decisions, in the long run even if your family doesn't eventually respect your decisions (though they probably will), you can feel proud knowing you are following your heart and your mind, living your life as a grown up. Particularly if you are pregnant, people will respect you more if you stand strong in your decisions, don't be argumentative, just be confident about how you feel. It sounds like your family loves you and cares about you, and if you are an only child, they're not likely to give up on you forever because you're with a guy they don't like, especially if you bring a new addition to the family.

Good luck! Keep us posted.
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  #11  
August 19th, 2006, 07:25 AM
Jessy133's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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heyyy everyone well just keeping you guys posted...yesterday (friday) i decided to go and take a blood test b/c im driving myself crazy! When i got there they told me to take a urine test ...the thing is i tested myself with a HPT and it came out negative...but when i was pregnant before it literally took 4 preg. test to finally come out positive. I was 6 1/2 weeks when the hormone finally was detected and the doctor said that i probably have a low level of hormones since ive been on birth control since i was 15. So this time around im scared the same thing will happen! So w/e they told me just to do the urine and then if anything to do the blood work...the urine test at the clinic also came out negative. So they told me not to waste my money and come back next week if i still havent gotten a period. So last nite right before i got into the shower...i noticed that when i got up from the toilet 2 drops of blood fell..so i put a panty liner the entire night and this morning all i had was tinyyy drop of blood. So what do you think this means?!? I was cramping pretty heavy yesterday so when i saw the blood i was like o its my period but now nothing the cramps went away...well i decided to go ahead and also tell my family that me and fiance are back together. Im not gonna mention anythign about the maybe preggo. But im tired of lying about where i am...no and to top things off my lil girl Porschea (our english bulldog) is i think going into labor as we speak!!!! She has 8 maybe 9 puppies in her!!!! Everyone is pregnant around here!!! LoL...So i will be seeing probably one of the miracles of life happen today! Well if any of you are interested in puppies i will have some! LoL i hope all of you have a good day! I'll keep you guys posted!
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  #12  
August 19th, 2006, 08:20 AM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm confused. In your first post you said you were 100% sure you are preggo, then talk about going to take a preggo test and it being negative. Are you late for your period? Spotting is fairly common in early pregnancy, so I think if you are late for your period and are cramping & spotting that you have a pretty good chance of getting a bfp soon.
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  #13  
August 19th, 2006, 09:58 AM
Jessy133's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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ya im late thats why i think i am pregnant...but i have no test to confirm it. i have talked to a lot of friends who have had kids and say they knew they were pregnant even though the test came out negative. and i have the same symptom that i had wiht my first pregnancy and i have never had that symptom again my nipples hurt like crazy...until now so its just making me think even more that i am.
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  #15  
August 19th, 2006, 12:09 PM
Jessy133's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ya i know i see it l ike that too...but since it happend to me once before now i think about it twice...the fact that my tests came out negative when i was really pregnant 4 yrs ago. I am a couple of days late...but im not always on time so thats making me think im not either...but just i feel so sick and my breasts hurt sooooo much!! and my nipples are killing me which never happens to me during AF like it hurts for my bra to be on. So i guess we'll see ill keep waiting and watching to see what happens! Thank you all for your advice i truely appreciate it!
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  #16  
August 23rd, 2006, 02:21 AM
Pharry's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Keep us posted and remember the symptoms may come up if you think about it a lot, though in my case I knew before I tested that I was pregnant, it does happen.
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