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Has anyone else had this happen


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
September 12th, 2006, 08:59 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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I am pregnant to someone I slept with one time. I had also taken the morning after pill within 24 hours of the "deed."

I'm really having a hard time adjusting to the fact that I got pregnant of that one night and with the morning after pill.

Has anyone else ever had this happen to them? Not even with the morning after pill necessarily, but gotten preggo from a one time thing?

I think I'm having a hard time with it because so many people try for so long, and then how the heck did I get preggo from one time and with the map?
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  #2  
September 12th, 2006, 09:37 AM
collegegirl's Avatar Super Mommy
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The first time I got pregnant it was after one time, with a condom, and I had been on the pill for over a year.
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  #3  
September 12th, 2006, 09:53 AM
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Did you have a hard time grasping the concept that you got pregnant even with all that protection?
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  #4  
September 13th, 2006, 07:10 AM
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My situation wasn't a one time thing but I was also on birth control and had been taking it as advised when I got pregnant. It took me about 4 HPT to believe I was pregnant. I think my first post on here was a question about false positives lol.
Amanda
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  #5  
September 13th, 2006, 04:13 PM
collegegirl's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Did you have a hard time grasping the concept that you got pregnant even with all that protection?[/b]
Oh yeah! I didn't even suspect that I was pregnant. One morning in the shower it just kind of dawned on me that I hadn't had my period in almost 2 months. I flipped out, left for student health services, and called my mother on the way there.

It still hasn't completely sunk in that I'm pregnant now. It's still such a shock. Me and the BF used condoms and were always very careful. The kicker is he has worried for a long time that he might be sterile from his time in the Army. So when we found out I told him "congrats! your boys can swim!!"
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  #6  
September 13th, 2006, 08:06 PM
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Hi Gracie, as you know, we were in such similar situations.

I am right with you in having a really hard time grasping that I got pregnant, we had sex twice, wore a condom both times after a few minutes unprotected, and I took PlanB. I had been on the pill for months and just ended up starting late that week. I am still struggling with the fact a guy I so don't want to have a child with ended up being the father when I really wanted it to be someone else. And I still really like that someone else. And I really don't like the father much at all. He's attractive, but not someone I am attracted to at all and I am so afraid my son will look like him and be a constant reminder to me of something I am so frustrated and ashamed of. Things like this just don't happen to me.

I am still not showing at 16.5 weeks and haven't felt the baby move yet, so it makes it harder to comprehend that I really am pregnant, even though I've had ultrasounds and heard the heartbeat. And I'm just so disappointed in myself. I just can't understand it, exactly like you said, so many people try for years and years and I aparently could have gotten pregnant on the other side of the county. My biggest fear is that I won't be able to bond with my baby, I know it's ridiculous, everyone says I will fall immediately in love, but it terrifies me.

I hope there are others out there who can share some positive outcomes of similar situations.
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  #7  
September 14th, 2006, 06:04 AM
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Hey, I'm glad to see you're still around.

Yes, we are in similar situations and I'm having a really hard time grasping all this.

I was concerned too about not feeling attached to the baby etc., but I know once he's here I will love him. It's just hard knowing that this child is what ruined my relationship with the person I love more than anything. If having to choose though, I choose my children over anyone....
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  #8  
September 14th, 2006, 10:48 AM
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I just wanted to add something else to this post. Even though I had already accepted my pregnancy it also took me a while to grasp the fact that I was pregnant and that this was actually happening to me. I didn't start showing or feel the baby move until I was around 20 weeks or so so I know how difficult it is to comprehend that there's a live being inside of me. There are days where I still can't believe that in only a few weeks I'm going to be a mom. That I'm going to be responsible for a living being; a part of me. I know your relationships with your babies' father's is different then mine, but I promise you I can relate to how you girls are feeling. But now being so far along and seeing all of this baby stuff sitting here in our apartment just reminds me that it's all worth it. Hang in there girls...it does get better!
Amanda
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  #9  
September 15th, 2006, 06:48 AM
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Quote:
Hey, I'm glad to see you're still around.

Yes, we are in similar situations and I'm having a really hard time grasping all this.

I was concerned too about not feeling attached to the baby etc., but I know once he's here I will love him. It's just hard knowing that this child is what ruined my relationship with the person I love more than anything. If having to choose though, I choose my children over anyone....[/b]

Okay, I've never been in this situation, so I really can't fully comprehend how you feel.
However, something you said set off the sirens. You said "this child is what ruined my relationship....etc"
It was not the child that ruined that relationship, it was YOUR actions. Correct me if I'm wrong but I do believe that doctor's say a baby, when in the womb, can sense negativity.

Now I do understand that it's natural to have feelings like the ones you're having. I suggest you see a counselor, and no, counselor's are not for looney's they are to help you cope with hard times,etc. Life can be overwhelming.
I think that you and your relationship with the baby would benefit from this, and this applies to Kasparkles too.

I know it's difficult, but you'll get through it.

Just out of curiousity---Did you and your BF or Ex-Bf stay together or no?
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  #10  
September 17th, 2006, 06:20 PM
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My daughter's father was just a diversion. I never wanted to marry him or even really have a serious relationship with him. I found out I was pg one month into dating him. Even though Gemma is his spitting image I look at her and see the love of my life. I didn't fall immediately in love with her or really bond with her right away. It took awhile to deal with the pain of being a single mom to the baby of someone I came to despise but I did it and now I wouldn't change it for the world. You'll be fine. Congratulations!
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  #11  
September 17th, 2006, 08:42 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
Hey, I'm glad to see you're still around.

Yes, we are in similar situations and I'm having a really hard time grasping all this.

I was concerned too about not feeling attached to the baby etc., but I know once he's here I will love him. It's just hard knowing that this child is what ruined my relationship with the person I love more than anything. If having to choose though, I choose my children over anyone....[/b]

Okay, I've never been in this situation, so I really can't fully comprehend how you feel.
However, something you said set off the sirens. You said "this child is what ruined my relationship....etc"
It was not the child that ruined that relationship, it was YOUR actions. Correct me if I'm wrong but I do believe that doctor's say a baby, when in the womb, can sense negativity.

Now I do understand that it's natural to have feelings like the ones you're having. I suggest you see a counselor, and no, counselor's are not for looney's they are to help you cope with hard times,etc. Life can be overwhelming.
I think that you and your relationship with the baby would benefit from this, and this applies to Kasparkles too.

I know it's difficult, but you'll get through it.

Just out of curiousity---Did you and your BF or Ex-Bf stay together or no?
[/b]
No offense, but you said yourself you have never been in that situation so it's kind of not your place to comment...I'm sure she knows logically that it was her actions that caused this to happen but her reaction is VERY normal, pretty much across the board anyone who has had an unplanned pregnancy has had a similar one.....Yes babies can sense STRESS in the womb, but almost every mother is under some kind of stress...I agree with the suggestion of counseling though, it's always a good idea

Anywho, I can relate in a way because while I wasn't totally protected (pull-n-pray method here ) I concieved the first time I slept with Mattea's father. And I had TTC for over a year with my ex (who I was still madly in love with, still am to this day!) with no luck....so I was kinda like-why? Why with this person who wants nothing to do with the baby after one time, why not with the man I have always loved?? The man who WANTS children with me??? And I did, in a way, blame the baby for the demise of our relationship-granted we were already broken up, but I had always thought that we would get back together, and this pretty much cemented that we were over...And I had a LOT of problems bonding with the baby, accepting that it was real...it took a while, a few months, for me to start to come to terms with it. There still are times I am in a state of disbelief. I look around my room and I'm like...hmmm, what is this crib doing here? I look at my stomach and I'm like, holy crap there's a baby in there! I have dreams now that I am going into labor, and she comes out, and I tell the doctors to put her back in because I'm not ready! And sometimes, in my darkest moments, I envy her father, envy his freedom and his ability to run away from all of this because it is SCARY! It's normal, and natural to feel this way...I think you need to just put some faith in yourself, I have met many women who have admitted to having these feelings (they are actually NOT exclusive to unplanned pregnancies) who have awesome relationships with their children...it's a huge transition especially when it is so unexpected, and when the father is not involved but I promise you, with time it does get better. I have a feeling that the moment I look into my baby girls eyes for the first time, that "mistake" I made is going to be the last thing on my mind, and I'm sure it will be the same for you
Whenever I feel myself asking myself WHY I am feeling all of this pain and confusion, I say the words that are in my signature-because in the end it will be WORTH IT!
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  #12  
September 18th, 2006, 07:52 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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Blondie,

Thank you first of all for defending what I said. You're right only someone who has been or is in the situation can understand what I mean. I do realize that it's not the baby that ruined it but the actions, I meant that had I not gotten preggo we would still be together, that's all.

Also, thanks for sharing your thoughts/ feelings. You pretty much summed it all up on the emotional end.
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  #13  
September 28th, 2006, 08:41 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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I think I have every right to comment (we're on a forum to hear people's opinions) we, as humans, are more objective when we're outside of the situation. I was pointing something out and didn't say it with malicious intent, nor was I passing judgement on her. And yes, I'm sure deep down she's conscious that it was her actions. Yes, counseling is good, that's why I recommended it.
Best of luck
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