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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
October 2nd, 2006, 12:37 AM
LondonAndAthensMommy's Avatar Chillin' in Mommywood ;)
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Hello.. I am almost 22 weeks pregnant.. (hiding it from my dad..Lol) .. I am way too terrified to tell him.. he says you need to own a house and be well established before having a baby; since him and my mom were teens when i was born ..well this baby was unplanned.. i got breast implants on may 8th and a week later i conceived... so ironically.... weird timing.. lol.. ... anyways.. all my family on my moms side knows.. (my mom and dad are not together) and my dads parents know... but nobody else on my dads side knows that i am pregnant... anyways... when I was 18 years old.. I unintentionally got pregnant (still with the same guy... 4 and a half years later) and my dad found out so he booked me an abortion appointment when I was 10 weeks along... he even came with me to the appointment to make sure I did it... so I did.. cuz he got his sisters to lecture me and he lectured me and he kept telling me he would kick me on the street.. I had just graduated.. and my bf was working a crappy job... so I decided IT WAS the best decision... so here we are... 4 and a half years later and my bf and I get pregnant again.. when I found out I was horrified so I cried and phoned my mom and my mom is against abortions because she has had 5 miscarriages since having me and done invitro 3 times... all with no success, she has had tubals as well ...so she is looking into adoption instead now.... so she immediately said.. no abortions again... and I kinda agreed cuz I didn't want to have 2 abortions at 22... especially while being with the same guy so long... well we rent a basement suite in my dads house.. and we are financially secure.. I still have not gone to college yet, but i plan to eventually... but i know when my dad finds out he is going to be MAD, sad, DISAPPOINTED and very upset... I just don't know how to tell him.. i'm scared.. lol i just feel he will be mad but even more upset that i waited so long to tell him... but it was only cuz i'm scared...
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  #2  
October 2nd, 2006, 07:08 AM
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First I want to welcome you to JM and congratulate you on your pregnancy!! Do you know what you're having yet? Anyways, I know how hard it is to tell a parent that you are pregnant. Growing up I think the worst punishment my mom could have ever given me was to tell me she was "disappointed" in me. It's hard on me now even though I'm 20. I think the best thing to do in your situation would just be to sit down and tell him. He can't exactly kick you out since you are an adult and you are paying him to live in his basement suite. At first he might me mad or disappointed, but you really need to let him know that you are an adult and that you are able to make your own decisions now. Don't let him (or anyone else) pressure you into making a decision that you don't want to make. You might want to explain to him that you may not be "rich" but that you are financially capable of supporting a child. I hope that I was some help and I really hope that you stick around!!!
Amanda
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  #3  
October 3rd, 2006, 02:14 AM
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I think that you should let him know, cause i don't know how long you can keep it hidden for longer but be that as it may I do belive that honesty is the best policy, and moreso if you do find you are in a position to take care of the baby, then he has to support the choices that you make. Let him know and the best of luck.
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  #4  
October 3rd, 2006, 03:43 PM
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Hey! Congrats on your pregnancy and welcome to JM...you've definately come to the right place! This has been my biggest support system with my unplanned pregnancy and I've made some great friends here! I hope it helps you as much as it helped me...
First, I'd just like to say I think you waiting until now to tell your dad is ACTUALLY A GOOD CHOICE!!! One, you're pretty much too far along now to have an abortion so he can't really pressure you into one. I also had an abortion, when I was 21, and I know exactly how you feel...about it being the right choice for that time in my life, but now that we're a little older and wiser, it's not really an option anymore. There's just no justification to do it a second time. At least that's how I feel for myself...what others do is up to them and if it's right for them, then I can understand.
Anyhoo, honestly, I'd just tell him...just like ripping off a band-aid...Dad, I'm pregnant, and I'm keeping the baby...BOOM! done! Bomb dropped! lol
I for one am REALLY against any parent who can't support their children in time of need...I understand being disappointed, but they really need to be there...Parents have a way of turning into the most irrational and immature ppl when it comes to these sort of things! My b/f's mom nearly crapped her pants when he told her he was gonna be a dad..it took her until the 8th month of my pregnancy to even acknowledge it...and now she wants to fly all the way here from Montreal just to babysit! (what a door-knob she is! I can't stand her!!) My point is that it's VERY hard not to love a baby, even harder to resist loving a grandchild...so even if he pulls the I'm mad/upset/disappointed in you routine, you can at least have the satisfaction of knowing he's gonna eat his words one day when he loves that grandbaby as much as he loves you! If he wants to kick you out..fine, let him...If he wants to be mad at you, fine, let him...He'll eventually get over it.
I know it'll be hard on you if he has a bad reaction.. He's you dad and u love him! He worries about you. But you're an adult now. He needs to realize that! And it sounds like you have a lot of support elsewhere. So for now, just tell him, and take it step by step after that. If you don't feel good about his reaction, we're here to help u thru it, hun!
Good luck! I'll be thinking of you! Oh also, I also had my boobies done!!! Best thing ever isn't it? Totally worth the money!
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  #5  
October 3rd, 2006, 04:08 PM
LondonAndAthensMommy's Avatar Chillin' in Mommywood ;)
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Well... I liked my boobies when I got them done lol but since i got pregnant the same time... my boobs have gained massive size and completely sagged and don't look like implants anymore.. so lol i'm not too happy about that!




Quote:
Hey! Congrats on your pregnancy and welcome to JM...you've definately come to the right place! This has been my biggest support system with my unplanned pregnancy and I've made some great friends here! I hope it helps you as much as it helped me...
First, I'd just like to say I think you waiting until now to tell your dad is ACTUALLY A GOOD CHOICE!!! One, you're pretty much too far along now to have an abortion so he can't really pressure you into one. I also had an abortion, when I was 21, and I know exactly how you feel...about it being the right choice for that time in my life, but now that we're a little older and wiser, it's not really an option anymore. There's just no justification to do it a second time. At least that's how I feel for myself...what others do is up to them and if it's right for them, then I can understand.
Anyhoo, honestly, I'd just tell him...just like ripping off a band-aid...Dad, I'm pregnant, and I'm keeping the baby...BOOM! done! Bomb dropped! lol
I for one am REALLY against any parent who can't support their children in time of need...I understand being disappointed, but they really need to be there...Parents have a way of turning into the most irrational and immature ppl when it comes to these sort of things! My b/f's mom nearly crapped her pants when he told her he was gonna be a dad..it took her until the 8th month of my pregnancy to even acknowledge it...and now she wants to fly all the way here from Montreal just to babysit! (what a door-knob she is! I can't stand her!!) My point is that it's VERY hard not to love a baby, even harder to resist loving a grandchild...so even if he pulls the I'm mad/upset/disappointed in you routine, you can at least have the satisfaction of knowing he's gonna eat his words one day when he loves that grandbaby as much as he loves you! If he wants to kick you out..fine, let him...If he wants to be mad at you, fine, let him...He'll eventually get over it.
I know it'll be hard on you if he has a bad reaction.. He's you dad and u love him! He worries about you. But you're an adult now. He needs to realize that! And it sounds like you have a lot of support elsewhere. So for now, just tell him, and take it step by step after that. If you don't feel good about his reaction, we're here to help u thru it, hun!
Good luck! I'll be thinking of you! Oh also, I also had my boobies done!!! Best thing ever isn't it? Totally worth the money! [/b]
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  #6  
October 3rd, 2006, 04:27 PM
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Oh I hear ya! But imagine what they'd look like w/o the implants!!! I know mine are not nearly as perky as before, but if I had not gotten them done, they'd look sooooo retarded!!! lol So I'm still happy about mine. Plus just think, they say you should get them done every 10-12 yrs or so, at that time you can get them a bit bigger so they fill in a bit more.
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  #8  
October 4th, 2006, 02:32 AM
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its still the fact i spent $7000 on them for nothing in may.. since i've been pregnant while having them the whole time now..



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Oh I hear ya! But imagine what they'd look like w/o the implants!!! I know mine are not nearly as perky as before, but if I had not gotten them done, they'd look sooooo retarded!!! lol So I'm still happy about mine. Plus just think, they say you should get them done every 10-12 yrs or so, at that time you can get them a bit bigger so they fill in a bit more.[/b]

so i booked a re-do for march..


Quote:
Oh I hear ya! But imagine what they'd look like w/o the implants!!! I know mine are not nearly as perky as before, but if I had not gotten them done, they'd look sooooo retarded!!! lol So I'm still happy about mine. Plus just think, they say you should get them done every 10-12 yrs or so, at that time you can get them a bit bigger so they fill in a bit more.[/b]
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  #9  
October 4th, 2006, 06:30 AM
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Did you get them done under or over the muscle?
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  #11  
October 4th, 2006, 02:56 PM
LondonAndAthensMommy's Avatar Chillin' in Mommywood ;)
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above, cuz i like the faker look..



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Did you get them done under or over the muscle?[/b]
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  #12  
October 4th, 2006, 06:59 PM
LondonAndAthensMommy's Avatar Chillin' in Mommywood ;)
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Well.. me and my bf told his gf and so she told him.. so now the cats out of the bag... hes upset and we haven't spoken since he found out..
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  #13  
October 4th, 2006, 11:43 PM
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He'll probably get over it. Like a previous poster said once they realize its their grandbaby they are happy again. He might be angrier that you kept it a secret. Although I understand why.
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  #14  
October 5th, 2006, 12:30 AM
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Hi,

Well Congrats and hope to see you around here more!
And also you know ur 22yrs old. Ur old enough to have this baby & if u can pay $7,000 to get ur breasts done. Then you can have enough money to have a child. Thats all I have to say!
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  #15  
October 5th, 2006, 09:16 PM
LondonAndAthensMommy's Avatar Chillin' in Mommywood ;)
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breast implants are only a one time purchase... not consistent over 18 years lol




so that doesn't mean someone can afford a baby.. it might just mean they had no other bills to pay at the time..



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Hi,

Well Congrats and hope to see you around here more!
And also you know ur 22yrs old. Ur old enough to have this baby & if u can pay $7,000 to get ur breasts done. Then you can have enough money to have a child. Thats all I have to say![/b]
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  #16  
October 6th, 2006, 01:29 AM
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Quote:
breast implants are only a one time purchase... not consistent over 18 years lol




so that doesn't mean someone can afford a baby.. it might just mean they had no other bills to pay at the time..[/b]
I have breast implants as well, I got them done around 2 monthes before I got pregnant.. And have no noticed a change in them at all.. I guess I got lucky.
But breast implants are not a one time purchase, you have to get them redone every 10 years.
But as for telling your dad, write a letter or something.. I was scared to tell my parents as well and held off till I was 18 weeks.. I was actually surprised at how well they accepted it. You will feel much better once you tell him! Trust me! Second of all.. you will be surprised at how much people will buy for you!! I didn't exoect to get much being pregnant.. I thought maybe I would get some clothes.. stuff like that. But my boyfriends parents bought us like.. enough clothes to last until our daughter will be like 9 monthes.. a playpen, swing, bouncy chair, and travel system.. ALLL top of the line stuff. and my parents bought us the whole nursery of my choice!! But even if you don't get alot.. people sell things in classifieds for cheap, babies only use things for so long. And you can find stuff in excellent condition for a fraction of the cost!
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  #17  
October 6th, 2006, 05:21 PM
LondonAndAthensMommy's Avatar Chillin' in Mommywood ;)
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Well he does know and hes not happy... but anyways.. you don't have to get your implants redone every 10 years if nothing is wrong with them... that is if you want them revised to look better or if you have rippling..
mine have changed cuz they have grown massively since being pregnant... and so i am getting them re-done in spring... i am also not worried about money as my boyfriend makes 5,000 a month income.. so money for a baby is not an issue, my dad is just mad we are not established and I am not 30 with a house that I own.. or that babies should be planned in his opinion not unplanned..



Quote:
Quote:
breast implants are only a one time purchase... not consistent over 18 years lol




so that doesn't mean someone can afford a baby.. it might just mean they had no other bills to pay at the time..[/b]
I have breast implants as well, I got them done around 2 monthes before I got pregnant.. And have no noticed a change in them at all.. I guess I got lucky.
But breast implants are not a one time purchase, you have to get them redone every 10 years.
But as for telling your dad, write a letter or something.. I was scared to tell my parents as well and held off till I was 18 weeks.. I was actually surprised at how well they accepted it. You will feel much better once you tell him! Trust me! Second of all.. you will be surprised at how much people will buy for you!! I didn't exoect to get much being pregnant.. I thought maybe I would get some clothes.. stuff like that. But my boyfriends parents bought us like.. enough clothes to last until our daughter will be like 9 monthes.. a playpen, swing, bouncy chair, and travel system.. ALLL top of the line stuff. and my parents bought us the whole nursery of my choice!! But even if you don't get alot.. people sell things in classifieds for cheap, babies only use things for so long. And you can find stuff in excellent condition for a fraction of the cost!
[/b]
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  #18  
October 6th, 2006, 05:32 PM
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hmmm...house, financially stable, the right age, the right marital status...too bad life doesnt' usually work out that way hunh? lol
Of course there's an "ideal"....but I think what most parents forget is that there's never a REAL perfect time for babies...even if you have a house, even if you're 30 years old, even if you have all the money in the world, it'll NEVER prepare you for this huge change! They should know that since they've had kids!!! oh well!
I just hope he gets over it.
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  #19  
October 6th, 2006, 09:50 PM
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hopefully... well he was 18 when i was born... so he just wanted me to make better choices i guess...



Quote:
hmmm...house, financially stable, the right age, the right marital status...too bad life doesnt' usually work out that way hunh? lol
Of course there's an "ideal"....but I think what most parents forget is that there's never a REAL perfect time for babies...even if you have a house, even if you're 30 years old, even if you have all the money in the world, it'll NEVER prepare you for this huge change! They should know that since they've had kids!!! oh well!
I just hope he gets over it.[/b]
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  #20  
October 7th, 2006, 01:07 PM
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Congarts on the baby, your dad will come around soon enough..I got pregnant at 16 and when my parents found out my mom was very dissapointed but she got over it and my dad, well it took him a lot longer but he got over it.

Your dad was a young parent and I am sure he and your mom struggled so he is probably upset because he thinks you have a long road ahead of you and it is going to be just as hard for you as it was for your dad and mom but the diffrence between back then and now is they have numbers of resources for pregnant women and women with kids who need help, I am not saying having a baby is simple but it is a bit easier then it was back then.
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