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Need Help with telling my parents


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
January 26th, 2007, 03:43 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 208
Hi Ladies
First off I want to thank everyone for the support that you have all given me. Second I have one more thing to do before I can move on and thats tell my parents. I know that at 29 telling your parents shouldnt be hard but it terrifies me. They are not going to react well. They are old fashioned. I know its going to worry them sick and break their heart. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. I have to do it soon. Any advice? have any of you had a hard time telling your parents? I feel pretty good now. I have been getting out more. I have been going to the gym. Now that the babies father is gone I feel liberated and much better. But none of this matter because of my parents. Any advice would be much appreciated.
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  #2  
January 26th, 2007, 10:56 AM
JennieMarie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Here is some motivation.. I had just turned 21 when I became pregnant... Even though I dont live with my parents I didnt tell them until I was nine weeks..... And dont worry as werid and uncomfortable it was I felt a lot better... because I didnt know how they were going to react or look at me.... and mostly treat my BF... but now Jianna is here 3 months already and they are in LOVE with her.
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  #3  
January 26th, 2007, 08:49 PM
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Well, the one thing I can tell you is that no matter what, once this little baby is out, they'll be so happy and in love with this child, it doesn't matter how you tell them.
When I told my mom, she was bouncing off the walls she was so thrilled! My b/f's mom however...well...basically she wouldn't even acknowledge that there was baby on they way until I was like 8 months along...then suddenly (and conveniently) she was scared that we wouldn't call her when I went into labor, or didn't want her there...suddenly she was #1 gramma.
Anyways, the point of that story is they can take it one of 3 ways: super happy, super upset, or somewhere in the middle! Try not to focus on what reaction they'll have, or how they'll take it. Because they might cry and yell or whatever now, but in a few months when they hold that little one in their arms for the first time, all the negativity will be long gone, forgotten!
I'd say, for memory sake, try to make it as cute as possible. Who cares how they react. Just make it a good story to tell later! For example, to tell my mom and sister, I went out and bought them both cards, (my moms was a congrats on your grandchild, and my sister's was congrats on being an aunty)...I told them I bought them a gift, and handed them their cards and let them figure it out. Once the cat was out of the bag, I handed my mom an "I love my grandma" bib, and my sister a toy shotgun (for the shotgun wedding of course!). We all love talking about how I told them!
Maybe you could try showing up to your parents wearing a t-shirt saying "hahaha! You're gonna be grandparents!!!"
It might ease some tension. Then again you know your parents best. If you think sitting them down and breaking the news gently, then do that.
Either way, good luck! Let us know how it goes!
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  #4  
January 27th, 2007, 03:58 AM
Star's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I was 23 when I found out when I was pregnant and super scared/nervous to tell my mom. So one night we met out for dinner, and I asked her how she felt about having an addition to the family. She was surprisingly happy.

But then of course she turned psycho and sent me an email about one month later saying "I'm going to give you your great aunt's diamond ring then you and Gary can announce your engagement". I was like... uh, last time I checked, engagments didn't work like that.
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  #5  
January 28th, 2007, 04:58 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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i only told my parents 3 weeks ago. I'm 20. my mom didnt take it well at first, but now shes really excited. she's so supportive, but my dad isnt so easy. he thinks i'm going to be a terrible mother and has no problem in saying it several times a day. but i live with them so its harder.

It was the hardest thing in the world telling them, but its so liberating once you do. theres no more secrets and you can enjoy being pregnant. I really hope it goes well for you.

The way i looked at it was that if my child came home and told me that i'd want to do everything to help her, not push her away, no matter how shocking the news.

best of luck and let us know.
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  #6  
January 28th, 2007, 06:40 AM
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It was hardest for me to tell my mom because I've always been her "baby". Out of all the people in my husband's family and mine she was the last person we told. I called her (since meeting her in person wasn't possible at the time) and told her. She didnt' believe me! It took me 5 minutes to make her realize I was telling the truth! Then she got really quiet (which was the worst part) and I asked her if she was mad and she said "There's nothing you can do about it" or something like that. Now that Miranda's here you would've never thought she had any doubt about having a grandchild. And I agree that you feel so much better after letting them know. Keep us updated and let us know how it goes!!
Amanda
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  #7  
February 1st, 2007, 01:59 PM
Sonya77's Avatar Hip Rockin' Mama
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capergirl;

I'm 29 as well...and I chickened out and told my dad and stepmom by sending them a card (and they live 30 minutes away). We aren't that close (my dad married a woman with 4 kids, I was an only child, do the math ), and I know they will disapprove because Steve and I aren't married. They have 7 other grandchildren, with only 2 of them conceived/born in wedlock. That didn't stop them from being good grandparents to them, but they are all "her" kids...

I told them over a week ago, and haven't received the first phone call, letter, email...luckily everyone else in my family are so excited for us.

I'm used to being the black sheep of the family, so maybe it doesn't bother me as much as it does you...it does suck that this will be my dad's first biological grandchild, and because of my step-mom, he won't be very involved.

Bottom line: You are old enough to be a good, responsible parent. Don't worry what the parents will think.

Take care of you and your baby; that's the important thing.
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  #8  
February 1st, 2007, 02:52 PM
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I guess you have to just figure out what works for you. I was 19 when I found out with my daughter. I was in college and although my husband and I were engaged at the time I knew it would blow my parents' minds. I lived an hour away so the night I found out I called them they were um, shocked, to say the least. That was on a tuesday. I went home that weekend and by then they had had time to calm down and process things and there was never the fight I was expecting.

Just when you do tell them give them time to adjust to the news and I'm sure eventually they'll come around.
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  #9  
February 1st, 2007, 03:08 PM
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I was 31 and married with 2 other children, and my parents are so into me having a small family I never told them until I was 3 months along. I knew they would freak on me and I was nervous. Sometimes its really hard to tell you parents because your always looking to make them proud, and telling them something that you think will make them dissappointed is hard. no matter what age you are. But after the initial shock, mostly every parent is super excited to see that little face, even mine lol. My dad didn't speak to me for weeks, and he loves my kids to death...all of them. maybe something like giving her some baby booties will help...good luck!
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  #10  
February 3rd, 2007, 04:21 AM
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Im just so scared because I am alone. Babies father is not acknowleging the baby and thats going to make them worry sick about me. I can understand why. I live 5 hours away and they are going to worry so much about me and the baby. They are wonderful, loving parents. I know that they will be by my side but it will disrupt their lives alot. If I was with the babies father, I wouldnt be scared to tell them at all.
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  #11  
February 3rd, 2007, 04:35 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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they'll support you. they know that you are able to look after the baby, they're just worried about you. pregnancy is hard, they just want to help you. everything will be ok, you need all the help you can get, we all do. it has nothing to do with being single. they'd worry just as much if you were with him, i promise!
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  #12  
February 23rd, 2007, 10:53 AM
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Well, i was 18 when i found out i was pregnant with my first (even though i was young, he was a planned baby) BUT i didnt tell anyone (except my twin sister whan i was about 5 weeks)

I ended up tellin my mom at 5 months preggo and she was ok with it - was not mad at me at all and said we will deal with this and work thru it and said that she loved me.

now my DAD is a different story. i was 7 months preggo and still couldnt tell him so i went and had lunch with him hoping he would notice and say something to me about being pregnant and blah blah blah. After stuffing my face for about an hour i went home and HE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE!!! yes i was a skinny girl starting at 103 pounds and ending weight 153 but how could he not notice!!! i cried to my mom and she called my dad and told him. he was a lil upset and didnt really talk to me but after i had Sean he came to visit and now loves sean to death.

My lil sean is now going to be 9 years old and i am preggo again (not married, different father) and i told my mom (she was happy) and still havent told my dad, lol. i think i am gonna try and see if he will notice first.
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