Log In Sign Up

Growing up...


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Unplanned Pregnancy LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
March 18th, 2007, 05:32 PM
waitin4ansleigh's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 700
Send a message via AIM to waitin4ansleigh Send a message via Yahoo to waitin4ansleigh
Yesterday night I actually attempted to hang out with my friends.. I went to a cookout and was later roped into being dd for them that night... But I soon realized who my real friends were... I was responsible for 3 people, one couple and one friend... well they all drank way more than they told me and I was soon stuck with some very out of control drunk people in a crowd of even more out of control drunks... I did everything I could do and ended up spending the night in tears and screaming at them to just get in the car so I could go home... One of my friends actually went to jail... and the other two were bickering so much in the car that I actually pulled over on the side of the road... Turned the car off and started walking home with the keys in tow... I just could not take it anymore... They finally agreed to shut up and I drove them the rest of the way...

Today they never even asked how I was or even apologized to me for what they put me thru... I guess they don't feel guilty... They were more concerned about the girl that got herself arrested for public intoxication then they were about me... And these are people that are supposed to be my friends???

I guess part of me knew that I would be forced to grow up... I'm not the party girl I use to be and now having to be a single mom there's no way I can really be much of the person I use to be at all... I just really started to be the "party girl" person... It wasn't really bad... 3-4 times a month but still... I was having fun and really getting comfortable in my own skin... My whole pregnancy I felt left out because I use to go out with them every once and a while and see them having so much fun and just kind of feel left out... It hurt because they couldn't even seem to do anything that didn't involve alcohol.. (most of them)

But I have realized that I have a few friends that are over that stage in their lives... One just got married and is expecting her first in october... I just never thougth life would take the steps that it has... and now I'm wondering who I am gonna be now that I have Carson in tow... I have to find myself all over again... and that idea's a lil scary... I keep thinking it would be easier if there was someone doing it with me... like the baby's father but just for the role not him the person... People ask all the time if I'm ready for the baby... Physically yes, everythings bought and ready... but mentally and emotionally... I don't think so... Pretty bad considering I meet him in under 4 days...

Sorry to be so long and not make any sense what so ever... Just had to vent...
__________________

<div align="center">


Thanks dettmer26 for my siggy!



</div>
Reply With Quote
  #2  
March 18th, 2007, 08:25 PM
sarabella
Guest
Posts: n/a
You coulda popped at any second and those drunk people couldn't have taken care of you!!! lol silly girl!

I know what you mean though. I'm pretty scared of actually becoming a mom. The responsibility for a lifetime thing and trying not to totally screw my child up.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
March 19th, 2007, 04:06 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 195
Hey hope you don't mind me popping in from ddc oct. Your story reminds me of how it was when I was pregnant with my first child. I was 18-19 while pregnant and my friends were all wanting to go to the clubs and drink and whatnot. The thing is, I felt us growing apart. They were stuck back in the "let's party all night long" stage and I was moving into the "going to be a mommy" stage of life. Having a baby won't make people grow up. Accepting the responsibilities of parenthood will. Instead of looking at this in a hurtful way, perhaps you could look at it in a way of you being a very responsible mother (and that is really something to be proud of). It's not something your friends will understand until they have their own children. And don't worry if you have to let them go, you will make new friends who are on the same page as you are (you said you may have a few who already are past the party stage). Give it time.

As far as being emotionally ready, don't worry too much. I was scared my first time too (heck I am a little nervous this time around lol). The good thing is, you learn as you go and we moms tend to learn very quickly . Everything is going to be fine, and I think you're going to be a wonderful mother.
__________________
<div align="center">


</div>
Reply With Quote
  #4  
March 19th, 2007, 05:56 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: ireland
Posts: 5,136
beth, i agree with Nanilli. becoming a mother makes us all learn so fast, and the fact that you are so accepting of the responsibilities makes you an amazing mother already. the rest we gotta learn as we go along!

I'm 20, all my friends are students and big into the whole party every weekend thing. I find myself too young to get along with other moms (they're all at least 30) so i know how you feel losing contact with people you thought were your friends. its a pretty lonely feeling.
At least i have an amazing DH to do this all with, but i've still lost all my friends.

take comfort in the ones that have moved on from the party life and you will make more friends who are at the same stage as you.
__________________
<div align="center">
[/url]</div>

Robyn, wife to Steven, mom to Jake (7th Aug 2007)
Reply With Quote
  #5  
March 19th, 2007, 06:37 AM
sarabella
Guest
Posts: n/a
30 isn't so different from 20. =P

You and I chat just fine and I think we'd get along great IRL and I'm 30. Poor old fart me.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
March 19th, 2007, 07:55 AM
waitin4ansleigh's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 700
Send a message via AIM to waitin4ansleigh Send a message via Yahoo to waitin4ansleigh
I just never want my son to feel that mommy didn't want him... Because I do more than anything... I just have some unresolved issues with the way in which I became pregnant... But I'm just scared... I guess I worry that I'm gonna resent him even in the smallest way... I know its not his fault... And I don't want to ever look at him and feel what I feel right now... I guess it's just a bunch of mixed emotions...

I'm very happy to become a mom... Beyond excited but there's still this lil part of me that thinks it's not supposed to be like this... It's pretty bad that I've been pregnant 40 weeks and still can't accept the fact that these are the cards I've been dealt... All my life I never thought I would end up a single mom... I always thought I was careful enough and then I meet my baby's father and I just don't know how I'm supposed to do all this...

It's like everything is kinda coming down at once with him coming so soon... All my fears and thoughts... I worry that I will see his father in him sometimes... He looks just like Jeff... And I try so hard not to hate Jeff but I can't help it... He is a horrible person and has done alot of very wrong things to me that I can't change... And now I'm having his child, the child he wanted more than anything and he is no where around to help me out... It's just not fair!!!

And don't worry I'm not popping on my own... I can't for some reason or another.... I am however being induced in 2 days... EEK...
__________________

<div align="center">


Thanks dettmer26 for my siggy!



</div>
Reply With Quote
  #7  
March 19th, 2007, 08:13 AM
sarabella
Guest
Posts: n/a
Honey, you aren't having Jeff's child. You're having YOUR child. It's yours and no one else's. And I don't have a single doubt in my mind that you have more than enough love to give Carson to make up for the lack of father. You are going to be an incredibly mother, you are full of love and goodness and I can tell you have so much to give him already. If there is one thing Carson will never want for, it's love. You are overflowing with it.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
March 19th, 2007, 11:22 AM
lhug_nar's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Roberts, Wisconsin
Posts: 14,802
Send a message via AIM to lhug_nar Send a message via MSN to lhug_nar Send a message via Yahoo to lhug_nar
When I was preggo with DS I was basically in the same boat as you.... Friends were still in their party mode and I (19 yrs old) was in "mommy" mode. DS's bio-father wanted me to abort when we found out I was preggo and I chose to keep the pregnancy. He took off because it was "too much" for him to handle. He was 27 yrs old! So I did it all on my own... My parents supported me as much as they could and were there when DS was born 14 weeks premature. DS's bio-father, who I was unfortunately married to at the time, was no where to be found when I went into labor... Since DS was born September 26, 2003, his bio-father has only seen him a total of 24 hrs! He doesn't send b-day or xmas presents! Bio-father's family doesn't recognize DS as a member of their family at all!

Sometimes it's just better to do it on your own! I met and am marrying a wonderful guy who considers DS as his own and is going to adopt him after we are married! Keep your chin up... Things will work out! Just remember Carson is YOUR son, he's part of YOU! You will love him more than anything in this world and wonder how you could ever love someone so much as you love him! You and Carson will be just fine!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #9  
March 20th, 2007, 04:48 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: ireland
Posts: 5,136
he might look similar to jeff, but since its you raising him then thats all thats all they'll share. and after a while you wont even notice the resemblence because you love carson with all your heart and jeff is a toad.

you are going to be an amazing mother. even more so because you are doing it alone. I've told you in other threads that i am totally in awe of you. your love for your son has made you overcome the greatest heap of crap that life could have thrown at you, yet you are left with this amazing outlook on life and motherhood. you may not feel ready for motherhood, but girl, you are!!!!
__________________
<div align="center">
[/url]</div>

Robyn, wife to Steven, mom to Jake (7th Aug 2007)
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:59 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0