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I'm absolutely petrified.


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
July 13th, 2005, 03:41 AM
Pickle Pops's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 759
I've been reading these forums avidly for the past few weeks. I've tried to learn about everyone before posting.

I've wanted to come in, jump in and start posting and sound "brave", but to tell you all the truth, I'm absolutely petrified.

I found out I was pregnant on my 23rd birthday, which was something I wasn't expecting or planning. I was at first in denial and completely petrified of telling my parents. I knew they would be completely supportive, but I almost felt disappointing as I'm not married. I'm going to be a single mother, as well. I don't want to give some huge sob story or whatever, but I haven't seen nor spoke to the father since June and he told me already he wants nothing to do with this baby. I haven't told hardly anyone about me being pregnant, not even my closest friends because I feel as though it's just going to be a huge shock and a huge disappointment.

Now that might be enough for one person, but of course, my life isn't normal enough for there not to be more. When I was a teenager, I had a rare form of cancer and had a horrible experience with my doctors and I freak out when I have to even think about going to the doctor. I can't bring myself to even go make an appointment because all I do is freak out and cry and I don't have enough strength to go and do it myself... I had a doctor completely scar my body and created more physical problems for me than I should have and I don't want another doctor to "mess something else up" for me in my life. I know this might sound like crazy thinking and that a pregnant woman MUST see a doctor, but I don't know how I'm going to do it. I've always been the strong one in my family and I can't bring myself to ask my parents for help. I know they are going to have to help me, and I know I need my mom by my side in order to even GO to the doctor, but it's just entirely too hard. Just typing this is making me cry my eyes out. I haven't been too sick since I've been released from the Doctor's care for the cancer and I haven't been back to a doctor since. I don't know what I'm going to do.

You all seem to be entirely supportive and loving. I just need to maybe hear from some of you who may be or have gone through something like this.

thanks. ::
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Elizabeth


Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

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  #2  
July 13th, 2005, 06:52 AM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: at my desk
Posts: 27,881
Welcome to JM and congrats! I'm Jennifer (22) SAHM to Tyler (20m). I had a really hard time asking for help to. But I had no choice but to suck up my pride and ask. It was either ask for help or live homeless with a baby....hmmmm I wonder which one to choose. Since I was getting so much support from my mom we have become very close. She is my best friend now and I'm so thankful for that.


As for the dr, yes you have to go, you already know that. Please start by making sure you are taking your prenatal vitamins. You can get them OTC pretty much any place that sells vitamins (GNC, Target, Walmart). Also I found it to be very helpful to buy and read a pregnancy related book. I got the most popular one What to Expect when you are Expecting. It kinda makes you feel more independent if you can either look in the book for answers to simple questions...or you can come here and ask. The OB dr wont do anything that will hurt you or your baby. At your first appt I would tell them straight out...."this is what happened to me, I have little trust for drs, even though its not your fault, please be gentle with me". I think they will respect you for that. The first appt they usually go through your medical history, take wieght, blood pressure and a pap smear. Most of the appts after that they are just measuring your uterus and listening to the heartbeat and then you are one your way. Its no biggy.


Good luck. You sound very smart and I'm sure you can do this.
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  #4  
July 13th, 2005, 08:45 AM
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NYC
Posts: 15
Hi congrats,!! I am new here and I also have not been to the doctor yet, I absolutly hate doctors touching me down there. I do have an appointment next week, and one of the nurses reassured me that the gyn doctor is very gentle and really nice. It might help if you find a female gyn instead of a male, that makes me feel a whole lot better. My pregnancy was also very unplanned and I am also 23 and a senior in college. I am so scared that I dont know what to do, because I am totally unprepared, but I am learning that it is not the end of the world if I do not graduate in june 2006, but instead the fall of 2006. Hopefully your family will help you out and if not it may help if your contacted some pregnancy resource centers. Try the Nurturing Network, they have counselors and they can help you with stuff you need for the baby. www. nurturingnetwork.org they have a phone number on the website. Good Luck!! This board has really helped me get excited about my pregnancy and it will help you to.
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  #5  
July 14th, 2005, 06:33 AM
Pickle Pops's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 759
Thanks Jennifer for your reply and insight. mom2b39 - I think, as crazy as this may sound, I will be going to a male doctor. The Dr that messed up my surgeries before was a female so I guess once I've been burnt, I can't do that again. I don't know. We'll see. I am praying that I can get into my sister's OB because she has nothing but great things to say about him. She's gone to him for several years and he's treated her well. I want to go to a doctor that I know about rather than go to someone who I know nothing about or have heard negative things about. I need that peace of mind.

My sister called me yesterday and told me that my mom was wanting to take me to fill out paperwork and such yesterday, but sadly, I had called her too late and she was getting ready for work. Hopefully very soon though. I don't think I should wait any longer than I have.

I hate procrastination.

Thanks again ladies. ya'll are the greatest.
__________________
Elizabeth


Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

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