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(((HUGS))) How did you find out the baby is not your DH's? Just curious how you know already. That is wonderful that he plans on being there for the baby. Maybe you should try couples therapy before the baby is born to help your relationship.
As for money, check out this months issue of Parenting magazine. There are alot of money saving tips in there.
I'm glad you found your way here. It sounds that your husband is getting excited. I think that couples therapy would be a great idea for the two of you. Maybe even individual counseling for you, in order to help you deal with your past abuse. I've been where you are. It actually sounds a lot like me (taking a bath with the door open, flashbacks, etc.). I've been where you are. I think you are doing the noble thing by trying to contact the real father.... however if I were in your shoes, I don't think I could do that. I think I would just let my husband raise the child as his own. But then again, I've never been where you are in that sense... so I guess I can't really say.