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  #1  
April 19th, 2007, 11:50 AM
will&nomi's Avatar Member
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Okay, well I've heard many different things from different people on this subject in the past before I was pregnant, and it was one of the many reason why I thought I'd never have children. Perhaps it is just different for every woman so that is why I've heard different things.

So I've heard from friends that after the baby is born your vagina will contract back to it's prior size, which I've never believed because how can that be possible after being so so well you know......
And of course I've heard the jokes about women whom have had kids and therefore........

My husband likes me so much the way I am! I don't want that to change!

Now I was just reading my pregnancy book which I'm really beginning to not appreciate, I'm just reading along and then all the sudden it's talking about horrific things! What I just read has me REALLY worried about this sex thing now. It was saying you MUST do Pelvic Floor exercises to even have a hope that you'll tighten back up. Said that your uterus can actually fall through your vagina!!

So if you have kids before please help me to understand this
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  #2  
April 19th, 2007, 12:57 PM
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Quote:
Okay, well I've heard many different things from different people on this subject in the past before I was pregnant, and it was one of the many reason why I thought I'd never have children. Perhaps it is just different for every woman so that is why I've heard different things.

So I've heard from friends that after the baby is born your vagina will contract back to it's prior size, which I've never believed because how can that be possible after being so so well you know......
And of course I've heard the jokes about women whom have had kids and therefore........

My husband likes me so much the way I am! I don't want that to change!

Now I was just reading my pregnancy book which I'm really beginning to not appreciate, I'm just reading along and then all the sudden it's talking about horrific things! What I just read has me REALLY worried about this sex thing now. It was saying you MUST do Pelvic Floor exercises to even have a hope that you'll tighten back up. Said that your uterus can actually fall through your vagina!!

So if you have kids before please help me to understand this [/b]
I've had a kid and I haven't had any complaints about "being roomy" and what-not. I know that I was physically active (martial arts) prior and during last pregnancy so maybe that helped? I plan to be in the gym with this one too. I don't plan to overdo it though.
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  #3  
April 19th, 2007, 01:08 PM
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Most of that "awful" stuff is pretty rare, I think. Doing Kegel exercises is never a bad idea, it can help things stay toned up.

Plan on a few weeks with a lot of bleeding, and a few more weeks when you just won't feel like it. Around three months after delivery seems to be about average. It might be painful the first few times though so take it slow.

Everyone I know got back to normal afterward.
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  #4  
April 19th, 2007, 01:39 PM
will&nomi's Avatar Member
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Posts: 17
Ok, well thanks for the response, sorry if it sounded shallow.

Before I found out I was pregnant I was one of those people who was adamant that I would not have kids.
I'm not terrified or phobic like I was before I found out. But despite my excitement about the baby I guess those fears haven't gone away now that I've started reading about things and what happens to the body.
I just don't see how women survive this!
I know it's natural, and it's AMAZING that we can.
Still I just have a hard time wrapping my head around this. Sometimes I just think I'm going to die, I think there's no way I'm going to survive this.
I'm not afraid of the pain. When I use to tell people I would never get pregnant, they would always say you can get an epidural, but it's not the pain. It's just the very fact of what is happening to the body, what HAS to happen. And a C-Section is no less intimidating! I've always been scared of surgery so I guess I'm just one of those people that does do well with things like this
I feel like I'm being such a wuss, but then I think well maybe I'm so worried about dying because it's a premonition or something! lol
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  #5  
April 19th, 2007, 01:53 PM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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can i ask what book you're reading? and perhaps you should consider getting another one.
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  #6  
April 19th, 2007, 03:00 PM
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I am preg with #5 and never had any complaints... and it still feels the same on my end. I am with ya though.. I was worried with my 1st too. Kegals are your friend! lol
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  #7  
April 20th, 2007, 12:15 PM
will&amp;nomi's Avatar Member
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I am reading KISS Guide to Pregnancy by Felicia Eisenberg Molnar
I don't think there will be any book which I will be ok reading, I'm sure they all probably say the same things.
There is so much your suppose to do and not do, not to mention all things that can go wrong.
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  #8  
April 20th, 2007, 02:20 PM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh how ridiculous. The vagina is very elastic, specifically for getting babies out. I've had 4 vaginal deliveries and nothing feels any different than it did before kids. In those rare cases where it happens, there's always surgery to fix it, so it's not like you're given a life sentence. It's more fun now than it was before kids, but I suspect that has something to do with being so much more emotionally connected now that we have a family together.
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  #9  
April 21st, 2007, 07:15 AM
Gorman
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Exercise, even simple walking can help you more than you know. I think it is very rare that women have trouble with things being, as someone else put 'roomy'. Be active do some kegals and you will be just fine!
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  #10  
April 22nd, 2007, 11:20 AM
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My husband likes me as I am now... dispite the fact that we have 2 girls.

But i will point out that you most likely will not be having sex right after your baby is born... everything is a little sore after delivery.

I didn't really have fun sex until about 8 months after my youngest was born.. I was very sore for many weeks after the birth and we had sex a little too soon.. so i kept thinking for months afterwards that everytime it would hurt like that first time. (I know really messed up.. but hey I couldn't help that)

Kegels will help with your delivery as well as get the vajayjay back into shape.

AND! you could always pick a book on sex...that has techniques on how to seduce your man without actually having intercourse.

Trust me... getting him all hyped up is have the fun!
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  #11  
April 23rd, 2007, 02:50 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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rofl "vajayjay"....

i suggest you get a different book. What to expect when you're expecting is probably one of the best american books i've come across. practical advice without freaking the life outta you. and EVERYTHING you want to know is in there.
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  #12  
April 24th, 2007, 09:01 PM
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I just had a baby 4 weeks ago and did it for the first time a few days back and it actually felt better than before... i had to have stitches after having 2nd degree lacerations in a FEW places and apparently my dr. added an extra stitch... now it doesn't look normal yet... yes i got the mirror and flash light out... it was a lil more flappy if you will... but I'm told that goes back too... Kegals are your friend and they make a great excersize during the act as well... hope i wasn't too graphic but i hope that eases your thougths...

and do get what to expect when your expecting... she's got a great way with words that answers any question adn doesn't scare you... good luck with the baby!
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  #13  
April 27th, 2007, 11:24 AM
lvfunandfit's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Ok, well thanks for the response, sorry if it sounded shallow.

Before I found out I was pregnant I was one of those people who was adamant that I would not have kids.
I'm not terrified or phobic like I was before I found out. But despite my excitement about the baby I guess those fears haven't gone away now that I've started reading about things and what happens to the body.
I just don't see how women survive this!
I know it's natural, and it's AMAZING that we can.
Still I just have a hard time wrapping my head around this. Sometimes I just think I'm going to die, I think there's no way I'm going to survive this.
I'm not afraid of the pain. When I use to tell people I would never get pregnant, they would always say you can get an epidural, but it's not the pain. It's just the very fact of what is happening to the body, what HAS to happen. And a C-Section is no less intimidating! I've always been scared of surgery so I guess I'm just one of those people that does do well with things like this
I feel like I'm being such a wuss, but then I think well maybe I'm so worried about dying because it's a premonition or something! lol[/b]

I was You.... before I got pregnant. I never had the desire and was completely horrified by everything I heard and read. I got pregnant by "surprise" and was not excited about it til I felt the baby move. I had a miserable pregnancy... (not to scare you). I was active all the way up til I was 29 weeks pregnant and then I had started having issues and stopped going to the gym because the urge to protect my baby over took my whole self. (I was having early labor issues). My focus changed. I even fell down the stairs once at 16 weeks and cried because I thought I hurt my baby. I became a mom before I had the baby.

With all of that, my baby stayed in me for 39.1 weeks! we got induced because I was dilated to 4 and had been having contractions for 10 weeks and couldn't handle it anymore.

My point in all this is, my baby came out healthy, delivery wasn't bad at all, 3 weeks later I am not feeling any pain hardly at all and I am so in love with my daugther I would do it all again 10 times to have her! My life seems so much more fulfilled, there is more of a purpose in my days and I am experiencing a love I've never known existed!

I read those books too!!! PUT THEM DOWN! Stop reading them.... use them as a reference guide if you have questions, but honestly don't let those books take away from the happiness you should be feeling. I wish I could go back and really enjoy my pregnancy. I hated being left out of activities, I hated the way I looked (I was super active, flat tummy, 17% body fat, etc) and I wasn't allowing myself to connect with my unborn child.

HOnestly, enjoy this time.... take notice in how people stop and smile at you when you are out, how cute you look in maternity clothes, take lots of belly pictures, keep track of when you feel your baby move in side of you, start decorating the nursery, and let yourself be pampered. YOu only get to be pregnant for 9 mos, soak up the love and attention you get from everyone around you. You have the rest of your life to get back to the way you used to be. OH! and get a couple prenatal massages... they feel so good!

You'll see.... all these things that you are reading about won't matter! And, when you are 9 mos pregnant and ready to have the baby out of you, labor and delivery won't seem so scary anymore. I wasn't even nervous... I was just so excited to hold my baby! You'll see!
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  #14  
April 27th, 2007, 02:44 PM
Gorman
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Quote:
Quote:
Ok, well thanks for the response, sorry if it sounded shallow.

Before I found out I was pregnant I was one of those people who was adamant that I would not have kids.
I'm not terrified or phobic like I was before I found out. But despite my excitement about the baby I guess those fears haven't gone away now that I've started reading about things and what happens to the body.
I just don't see how women survive this!
I know it's natural, and it's AMAZING that we can.
Still I just have a hard time wrapping my head around this. Sometimes I just think I'm going to die, I think there's no way I'm going to survive this.
I'm not afraid of the pain. When I use to tell people I would never get pregnant, they would always say you can get an epidural, but it's not the pain. It's just the very fact of what is happening to the body, what HAS to happen. And a C-Section is no less intimidating! I've always been scared of surgery so I guess I'm just one of those people that does do well with things like this
I feel like I'm being such a wuss, but then I think well maybe I'm so worried about dying because it's a premonition or something! lol[/b]



I was You.... before I got pregnant. I never had the desire and was completely horrified by everything I heard and read. I got pregnant by "surprise" and was not excited about it til I felt the baby move. I had a miserable pregnancy... (not to scare you). I was active all the way up til I was 29 weeks pregnant and then I had started having issues and stopped going to the gym because the urge to protect my baby over took my whole self. (I was having early labor issues). My focus changed. I even fell down the stairs once at 16 weeks and cried because I thought I hurt my baby. I became a mom before I had the baby.

With all of that, my baby stayed in me for 39.1 weeks! we got induced because I was dilated to 4 and had been having contractions for 10 weeks and couldn't handle it anymore.

My point in all this is, my baby came out healthy, delivery wasn't bad at all, 3 weeks later I am not feeling any pain hardly at all and I am so in love with my daugther I would do it all again 10 times to have her! My life seems so much more fulfilled, there is more of a purpose in my days and I am experiencing a love I've never known existed!

I read those books too!!! PUT THEM DOWN! Stop reading them.... use them as a reference guide if you have questions, but honestly don't let those books take away from the happiness you should be feeling. I wish I could go back and really enjoy my pregnancy. I hated being left out of activities, I hated the way I looked (I was super active, flat tummy, 17% body fat, etc) and I wasn't allowing myself to connect with my unborn child.

HOnestly, enjoy this time.... take notice in how people stop and smile at you when you are out, how cute you look in maternity clothes, take lots of belly pictures, keep track of when you feel your baby move in side of you, start decorating the nursery, and let yourself be pampered. YOu only get to be pregnant for 9 mos, soak up the love and attention you get from everyone around you. You have the rest of your life to get back to the way you used to be. OH! and get a couple prenatal massages... they feel so good!

You'll see.... all these things that you are reading about won't matter! And, when you are 9 mos pregnant and ready to have the baby out of you, labor and delivery won't seem so scary anymore. I wasn't even nervous... I was just so excited to hold my baby! You'll see!
[/b]
Wow, extremely well put!
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  #15  
April 30th, 2007, 02:08 PM
ricschick's Avatar mummy t 4 ttc no5
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well i read your post and i was on the phone to df so i asked him and he said that i feel slightly different but not in a bad way you are bound to after having a baby and anyway the men have no right to moan weve just had a big baby come out of us lol dont worry hun it is all worth it in the end and labour is not so scary at the end because you will be desperate to see your baby and will be happy to have ya body back.
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