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So anyway when i got pregnant in july 06, i told my ex (who at the time was with someone else that he also got pregnant) that i too was pregnant anyway he quickly told me that i had to get an abortion that he coud not handle three kids and that i was gonna ruin his relationship with his current chick. I told him no that i wanted this baby anyway he left and told me that he'd pay me child support but thats all he would. So he stopped talking to me in october i was 18 weeks pregnant at the time. Anyway i had Sasha on March 19, i told him that i had her and he never returned my call and then i emailed him and he didn't respond to that either. Well yesterday we both recieve letters from the attorney general (I filed for child support on March 23) stating that we have a meeting on May 16 to discuss child support. So later that night i get a call from him all upset cause i filed for child support, he was ranting on how he didn't have money because he has this other stuff to pay for. Which was just a plea for me to say oh ok you don't have to pay up. Well he should know that i'm not gonna give in i need the money for my daughter. Errr!!!! and then he has the nerve to ask if my SO is in the picture. I told him yes and he was all like she's mine and i dont want him around her! OMG AHHH!!! I don't think he'll show up to the meeting for child support. Ok i'm done ranting thanks for listening
Uhg. No offense but he sounds like a total deadbeat Dad. *sigh* I'm not really sure what to tell you other than just protect your little one. Be careful with what you say to the Dad over the phone, letters, e-mails, etc. He might come after you if he gets angry enough. I hope he shows up at the child support meeting because it's his responsibility. You didn't do this by yourself and shouldn't have to pay for everything. He needs to man up. I'm pretty sure if he doesn't show up for the meeting he can get in A LOT of trouble. I know in Texas if you get behind on child support and refuse to pay it you can go to jail.
so the fact that he doesnt wanna be a daddy doesnt upset you? i was just wondering your views on it, if it was upsetting you.
any developments in the child support department?[/b]
At first it was bothering me i was really depressed by it. But i talked to his ex wife and i remembered how he used to treat his 4 year old and i honestly don't want my baby taken everywhere at all hours of the night. Right nothing new with the child suport
Well all I can say is good on you for sticking to your guns. The money is essential to help support your little girl and while it is fairly clear thate he would love nothing more than for you to tell him "forget about it", you are 100% in the right for seeing her best interest before his
I have found that if a deadbeat father can get out of paying CS.. they will! and they will try anything to do it!
My oldest daughter is from a previous relationship. I was 17 when i popped up pregnant with her, her father was 16 (turning 17.. he is 11 months younger than me) needless to say we didn't work out. and for the last 5 years or so I have neglected to go after her father for child support because i didn't want to alienate him from her because after we broke up he rarely came to visit. Well I met my hubby, Eric and we had Ella together... this is when i realized that my oldest daughter deserved to have her father at least help me with her bills because I didn't make her on my own. so in nov of 06 I filed for sole custody of my oldest. I had the papers hand delivered to her father and I waited for my court date. I talked her father after that and he said he was working things out with his lawyer. HA! yeah he never filled out the paper work I had delivered so he was never told about the court date (which was in feb of 07) and so he never came! I was awarded sole custody, gaurdianship by default because he just choose not to take the time out to fill out the paperwork. I was also given an order for her father to pay me CS... it was back dated to december of 06...
He still has not paid. He just is "Forgetting" to. So i went to family maintenance enforcement program (I am in Canada, this is a canadian program us might have something similar)... and I'm waiting on them now. but really... her father has just opted out of being her father really. When HIS parents ask for her for a weekend.. then he'll show up but otherwise he will not go out of his was to see her or ask to see her.
the last time my oldest saw him was at easter, when she went to her grandfather's (her father's father) house for that weekend. We all met at a local tim hortons for coffee when it was time to have my oldest come home. Eric, Ella, kaitlyn, her father, grandfather and myself were there... my oldest and Eric (hubby) demonstrated what a real father/daughter relationship should be and her real father didn't seem to interested... it felt like he HAD to be there. And that is almost worse than him not being there at all...
Anyways, I'm rambling.... my point is... if he doesn't want to be apart of your daughter's life.. then don't force him (which you aren't) Just leave it... But I'm glad you are going for CS!
Question though.... if you file for CS where you are.. does that mean that he automatically has to see her? have you talked to a lawyer about this? I'm curious.
Question though.... if you file for CS where you are.. does that mean that he automatically has to see her? have you talked to a lawyer about this? I'm curious.[/b]
No he can opt to pay the CS and not see her or do both. But i'm sure he will opt to do neither. He's an a**. The only thing i'm worried about right now is that his parents will want to see her cause it's his moms first granddaughter, i'm hoping he doesn't tell his family about her and he just helps me with financial support.
Do your DD's paternal grandparents treat her alright?
My oldest's paternal grandparents love her to death... even my MIL/FIL love her! Kaitlyn isn't thier grandchild but they treat her as if she has always been theirs.. which is great.
It's just her father who, does love her (he says so at least), just doesn't make the time for her.
It was really hard when Kaitlyn was around 2-3 years old... she would ask for her daddy... and I would have to tell her that he wasn't here right now, and she was too young to understand so she would cry for him. or trying to explain for a 4 year old that daddy wasn't going to come after he would make plans to come visit and then back out at the last minute.... it's just really hard dealing with the aftermath of a broken up past relationship. It's fine if there are no children involved, you eventually get over the old relationship.. but when there are children involved, you have a daily reminder of that failed relationship and you are perminately bound to that person for the rest of your life. and when you have a father who isn't that involved.... it's worse.
I do have a man in my life, and he treats Kaitlyn well.. I will admit that he is a bit more strict that I would be... but we flow nicely as a family.
Angelfire...first of all, Sasha is a DOLL!!!! What an adorable little face Secondly...stand your ground girl. I wouldnt give him the satisfaction of even talking to him! Get the support that baby deserves and let him figure out how he's going to come up with the money! you did the right thing...stand your ground.
That being said...I'm just on a field trip, so I hope thats ok LOL!