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  #1  
May 21st, 2007, 06:48 AM
Regular
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 6
hi everyone! congratulations all you mommies. (to me it almost feels like commiserations though...) so i am pregnant. its weird. im 23 and ive spent the last two years of my life trying to rehabilitate from serious mental health problems. i didnt get to finish uni because of this, so i have no degree, i have no job because of my rehab, i have no house since i have been living with my parents these past two years. my bf (no, i am not even married, and i am disappointed because i never wanted to have a baby out of marriage) i have been with for about a year and a half, our relationship is currently falling apart because he has been verbally/emotionally abusive. so my situation is no situation for a baby.

i dont believe i would be doing the right thing to get rid of the baby, so i am having it. i couldnt give it up for adoption, so i am keeping it. how i will do this i have no idea. with all of the above to cope with it is going to be absolutely crazy. not to mention my bf is from an asian family who are not too thrilled with the idea of him being with a white girl, not to mention that he is having this relationship out of marriage (they wanted to arrange his marriage), not to mention the fact that he told his mother he was not sleeping with me.

WHAT A MESS!!!! it is going to take a miracle to deal with all this stuff but maybe this little baby is a miracle. i know at least now i have a reason to live whereas before i did not (because of what i have been through really destroyed my hope). i want to believe that this little baby is a gift from God, which He gave me as an answer to my prayers. i prayed to God to give me something good after all the bad and maybe this baby is it. i really want to believe that. i am trying to stay positive and a part of me is really happy and excited. it seems bad because of the situation, but i still believe deep down that this could be the best thing that ever happened to me.

what on earth did all you guys do when you first found out? how did you deal with it?

bluebear
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  #2  
May 21st, 2007, 07:22 AM
asianmama
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congrats. its hard at first.. the first couple of months of my pregnancy with dd i woke up, went to school, went to work and then cried the rest of the time. my parents were very much disappointed in me-- i come from an asian family... we planned a wedding in 3 months. was told not to tell anyone because it would bring shame to my mom. she is very much looked highly in the asian communtiy and to have her daughter being pregnant at age 18 and not married was a big no no.

i wouldnt change it for the world. i love my daughter. and my son. my son was also unplanned.
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  #3  
May 21st, 2007, 08:11 AM
Regular
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 6
Quote:
congrats. its hard at first.. the first couple of months of my pregnancy with dd i woke up, went to school, went to work and then cried the rest of the time. my parents were very much disappointed in me-- i come from an asian family... we planned a wedding in 3 months. was told not to tell anyone because it would bring shame to my mom. she is very much looked highly in the asian communtiy and to have her daughter being pregnant at age 18 and not married was a big no no.

i wouldnt change it for the world. i love my daughter. and my son. my son was also unplanned.[/b]

you are such an inspiration to me right now. you were so young and it seems like you did so well. it must have been so hard that your parents were disappointed in you. i feel quite happy and excited about it now, and you have given me another reason to just keep going and believe in myself. thank you.
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  #4  
May 21st, 2007, 08:18 AM
asianmama
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your welcome. hope u have a easy pregnancy. good luck

edited to add- yea my parents were disappointed. and yes it was hard but now days when i come over with my kids they are nothing but loving to them both and they get excited to see my kids. so it worked out.
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  #5  
May 21st, 2007, 03:51 PM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sewickley, PA
Posts: 39,230
Congrats on your pregnancy! It truely is a blessing and I am so happy that is how you are seeing it.

I can't relate to your situation but I can say that every baby is a gift from God no matter how planned or unplanned the pregnancy is.

Just know that we are here (at Just Mommies) to listen and not to judge so if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me and I know the other girls feel the same.

I hope you stick around and keep us posted. I will be praying for you.
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  #6  
May 22nd, 2007, 02:28 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: ireland
Posts: 5,136
congratulations on your pregnancy! how far along are you?

I'm sorry to hear that you've been through so much, i also had alot of mental issues in my life but thankfully i have been doing really well the past 2 years. off my meds, rarely see a councillor. things do get easier!!!!!!
I dont know how i would have coped with a pregnancy when i was sick, but i know that it is the best thing thats ever happened me. nothing else in my life matters now i have this little girl.

I'm so thrilled to hear how positive you are about it, and i believe that this baby will make a difference for the better in your life.

i hope you stick around!!!
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  #7  
May 22nd, 2007, 06:31 AM
Regular
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 6
hi guys

thanks for the support. it really helps to have some one out there!

today i am feeling not so good about the whole thing. im sure its partly the mood swings but i just want to cry all day. its too much of a big thing for my head to get around. for me, telling people in my family was only something i wanted to do when i felt ready. if i told them before then i knew it would send me into a depression - i dont want everyone else knowing about something i feel so uncomfortable about still! when i cant even get over the shock of it i cant go around sharing what is meant to be wonderful news when to me it still feels ###### scary! i was just not ready to do it but my mom pushed me into it. my sister is getting married in august and i was supposed to be the bridesmaid. my mom wouldnt shut up about how i HAD to tell her IMMEDIATELY so that she could make arrangements. i was so freaked about the thought of telling my sis that i just couldnt stand up for myself. i couldnt even tell her myself because i couldnt face it. so my mom got to tell her.

i let my mom know i was annoyed at that but while me and my sis sat outside and caught up she snuck off and told my brother that i had 'news' for him! and then i got angry at her, and said i wasnt ready but she said 'well, you cant tell your sister and not tell your brother'. AAAAHHHH! i feel so depressed because i wasnt allowed to get used to the idea gradually, now i feel ive had to wake up to it all much quicker than is a good idea. at this point in my recovery it is SO important to do things in a way that is the least stressful mentally and she whipped the carpet right out from under me. i am so upset and depressed now. all the good feelings i had about this baby have gone and im just faced with a cold hard reality that is just too much! ive only known for a day and already i feel like its become my reality. i needed time to get used to it! i dont know how to cope now, i can feel myself getting depressed and i just cant snap out of it. i just want to go to sleep now but i have so much i need to get done before the baby i have to keep the momentum up. i felt in control yesterday and now i feel totally stripped of that. i just feel scared and small and alone with this suddenly HUGE problem that has exploded into my reality, plus i am so angry with my mother! she's always had a tendency to take things out of my hands and i really wanted this to be MY thing. now she's wrecked it. she has totally completely wrecked it and i dont know what to do now.

sorry to rant, i am just so upset!

bluebear
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  #8  
May 22nd, 2007, 07:48 AM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sewickley, PA
Posts: 39,230
I am so sorry that your mom did that to you.

How do your sister and brother feel about the pregnancy? Are they excited? Will they be supportive?

I don't see why you being pregnant will effect your sisters wedding. There isn't any reason you can't still be in it just because you will be pregnant.

How far along are you?

Just remember that what you have growing inside of you is a blessing and things will be easier with time.

Has your BF told his parents yet?
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  #9  
May 22nd, 2007, 09:36 AM
asianmama
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Posts: n/a
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  #10  
May 22nd, 2007, 06:15 PM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Houston/Beaumont Tx
Posts: 417
Congratz on your baby. and Im sorry you feeling lousy.. I know Just how you feel.. I found out I was pregnant right after I turned 17.. I was sooo scared.. I didnt know what I was going to do.. I just started doing pageants, so It was a big disapointment because you cant be in pageants if you have kids. I didnt plan on having a kid till I was married either.. My bf wanted me to get an abortion, and I just didnt think I could do that and then have kids later on.. I would have felt like God gave me a child and I did that.. Anyways.. I wrote my mom a letter and went to school.. she called me and told me she would support me in whatever.. Marcus had went offshore.. I went to a clinic to talk and they were really mean and it was scary.. so my mom took me to this place called the Hope Center.. they did an ultra-sound that day, I found out I was having twins! ya, I had ALWAYS wanted twins, and when I saw them and talked to the ladies I decieded that I had to keep my kids.. Marcus came home that day, and I told them their was Two, he was like WHAT.. and I told him I couldnt get an abortion.. he said that was fine, he would help me.. I planned on staying with my mom, till I got out of high school...then Rita destoryed my house, and we were in hotels.. my mom had relaps after 13 years of being sobber.. I had to move in with my bf, and his grandparents.. My mothers relaps killed me.. it lasted two years.. she went to jail, stole from us.. everything you could do to hurt someone.. she didnt even come see me in the hospital till 3 days later!.. there was so many time I just could have killed myself...but I couldnt do that to my kids.. I even thought about killing my self at a hospital so maybe they could save the babies.. anyways.. the lesson is that sometimes we dont know why things happen to us, we may take it wrong.. and it may be a blessing.. anyways.. we are doing great.. I tryed to finish school 3 months till graduation, my english teacher says she isnt going to take my homebound grades .. so I wouldnt be able to pass.. anyways.. I am getting my GED, going to college this summer.. My mom has now been clean for 4 months.. she got an aprtment, job.. everything is great.. you can get throught this.. May I ask what your medical condition was?? if you want you can PM me..
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