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Are my feelings normal?


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
May 29th, 2007, 08:44 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 425
Hello Ladies,

I recently found out that I'm pregnant. This will be our first child. I am 35, hubby and I have been married for 10 years, and honestly didn't think we would ever have kids. Hubby is thrilled about it, but I haven't really been able to share those feelings yet. Maybe this is partly due to the morning sickness I've been experiencing that seems to go on all day long! I've been dealing with this for about a month now, and frankly, I'm miserable! Feeling so bad all the time is starting to make me depressed.

Another thing that's getting me down is the fact that I'm terrified to give birth!! I don't have a very high tolerance for pain. I just feel scared and filled with dread. Are these feelings normal for first time mom's-to-be? I'm so afraid I'll be in labor for endless hours and won't be able to tolerate the pain. I keep wondering how on earth I will ever get through it?? I really want to be able to get excited about this pregnancy, and stop worrying so much about everything.

Anyone have any advice, or words of comfort for me? I feel I really need it right now. Thanks. I'm sure I will be a frequent contributor here.
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  #2  
May 29th, 2007, 09:41 AM
Star's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,722
First of all, welcome and congrats!!

You're feelings are VERY normal!!! Between weeks 12-16 I felt awful. Not so much the morning sickness, but I was very fatigued and there were days I didn't move from the couch. Eventually (hopefully) those feelings will subside and you'll start to get excited. One you hit milestones such as the heartbeat, feeling movement, going to the ultrasounds everything will become more real and exciting.

As far as the pain goes, there are so many ways to help deal with it. And once you're there, you'll figure out how to deal with it. (One of my nurses thought a hot pack would help ease the pain on my lower back, but I really wanted to throw it at her)
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  #3  
May 29th, 2007, 09:42 AM
the_elmel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hi there! Welcome to the Unplanned Pregnancy board and Congratulations on your pregnancy!

It's good to hear your husband is thrilled about the baby. Your feelings towards the baby are totally normal! Lots of women aren't able to get really excited about the baby until the due date gets closer. Morning sickness is really difficult and I totally know what you are going through. There were days where I wished I had never gotten pregnant and just wanted the baby to go away so I could feel normal again! I really hope the morning sickness begins to subside for you. *hug* It just takes some time.

THe fear of giving birth is totally normal for any woman! My Mom was terrified even after 4 kids to have to give birth again so she tied her tubes. I think most of us here are scared of birth. It's a gruesome process which can last hours and hours. Just try not to think about it, okay? Sometimes when you dwell on it, it just makes the anxiety so much worse! Labor is a natural thing and we can ALL do it. Just talk with your doctor about options - pain medication mostly. But I promise you will be able to get through it! I am pregnant with my first and terrified but I just tell myself I CAN do it.

Everything you are feeling is totally normal! Let us know if you need anything or just need to vent. I'm here if you need to PM anyone!
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  #4  
May 29th, 2007, 02:48 PM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: ireland
Posts: 5,136
welcome and congratulations!!!!!!
how far along are you?

i know exactly how you feel about the morning sickness. there were times when i wished it would all go away so i wouldnt feel sick anymore. but the vomiting went at 14 weeks and the nausea at 16. after that you feel so terrific, its like nothing could get any better.

as for childbirth, its the most natural thing in the world. the body releases endorphins to help you cope with it. its the only type of pain it happens with. or you could opt for pain relief, but i strongly suggest you research it properly. as with everything to do with childbirth its best if you make informed decisions.

hope you stick around!
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Robyn, wife to Steven, mom to Jake (7th Aug 2007)
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  #5  
May 30th, 2007, 08:35 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
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I'm so glad to hear that what I'm feeling is totally normal. I've been thinking that maybe something is wrong with me because this is supposed to be such a joyous time. But I have not been able to feel joy yet. Most of the time I just feel depressed, and long to feel like my old self again. It's definitely no fun dealing with nausea and vomiting all day! I've been staying in bed most of the time, because lying down seems to be the only thing that helps with the nausea. If I stand or sit up for too long it sends me running to the bathroom.

I don't know exactly how far along I am. My first prenatal appointment is next week. But I'm thinking I'm probably around 6-7 weeks. Possibly even farther along than that. Thanks girls for all your words of encouragement. I suspect I will find tons of support here.
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  #6  
May 30th, 2007, 09:08 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: ireland
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some things that helped me with my morning sickness are mints (kinda powdery ones. Silvermints, but i dont know if they sell them where you are) I actually couldnt travel without them. Dry crackers by your bed and eat them 15 mins before you get up. and yoghurt.
hope that helps a little!
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Robyn, wife to Steven, mom to Jake (7th Aug 2007)
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