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  #1  
July 22nd, 2007, 11:00 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2007
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Hello - I'm new here, and to be quite frank - scared. I just found out that I am pregnant on Friday 7/20 - and it was not expected. I was on the pill and have endometriosis, to which my Dr's said I most likely would not conceive (guess they were wrong). I'm 33 years old, and have been living with my BF for 2 years. I don't know what to feel right now, but I do feel guilty that I'm not jumping for joy. BF does not want kids (says he is too selfish to have kids). I thought I should be elated, however I just feel stressed (not to mention sick). I can't talk to any family members right now - they would be overjoyed and it would make me feel worse for not being so. Is this normal? I always thought when you find out you are pregnant you would be happy and excited and ready to take it on. I'm scared to death. I don't know what to do with a baby, let alone a toddler, kid, teenager etc.

Anyway - thanks for letting me vent... I just need someone to talk to.
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  #2  
July 22nd, 2007, 01:43 PM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: ireland
Posts: 5,136
hello and welcome to the board. congratulations on your pregnancy!
its perfectly normal to not feel thrilled and elated when you find out you are pregnant unexpectedly. its a huge change to your life and you're obviously going to feel scared and trapped. and because you had been told that you could never concieve you've probably resigned yourself to that fact and now everything you believed is different.

as for your bf, he'll probably change his mind when actually faced with a baby. have you told him yet?

have you family nearby?
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  #3  
July 22nd, 2007, 06:20 PM
Nikki.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 14,660
First of congratulations and welcome to the unplanned pregnancy board, we're all here to listen if you just need to vent.

The feelings you are having are perfectly normal. It is a huge life change that you were not prepared for, it will take time to adjust. But I am sure you and your bf will soon feel the happiness that pregnancy brings, unfortunately it may also bring morning sickness I am sorry you're not feeling well.
Just tell your family when you're ready, there is no need to tell them right away.

When is your EDD? I hope you stick around and let us know how everything goes.
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  #4  
July 22nd, 2007, 07:02 PM
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my husband and I were very scared/unhappy when we found out. You're not alone!!! I'm definitely not prepared, but I am very excited now.

It took about a month of resentment and crying, but I got over it.
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  #5  
July 22nd, 2007, 07:13 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 55
congrats!... I just want to say it just takes time to get used to the idea when it isnt planned and your not having the best feedback. It took me about 4 months to get a handle on it... I have 2 months to go and I too am finally getting excited. Dont feel bad about what your feeling... it is natural being that you didnt deliberatly try to have a baby... after the worrying and being scared is through, you will start to think of other things... like what it is? who will the baby look like?... what does it feel like to have a baby playing soccer inside of you LOL...

You'll be okay and if you need support, i have found this board to help ... so stay in touch..
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  #6  
July 22nd, 2007, 08:21 PM
lvfunandfit's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 3,020
Quote:
Hello - I'm new here, and to be quite frank - scared. I just found out that I am pregnant on Friday 7/20 - and it was not expected. I was on the pill and have endometriosis, to which my Dr's said I most likely would not conceive (guess they were wrong). I'm 33 years old, and have been living with my BF for 2 years. I don't know what to feel right now, but I do feel guilty that I'm not jumping for joy. BF does not want kids (says he is too selfish to have kids). I thought I should be elated, however I just feel stressed (not to mention sick). I can't talk to any family members right now - they would be overjoyed and it would make me feel worse for not being so. Is this normal? I always thought when you find out you are pregnant you would be happy and excited and ready to take it on. I'm scared to death. I don't know what to do with a baby, let alone a toddler, kid, teenager etc.

Anyway - thanks for letting me vent... I just need someone to talk to.[/b]

I was just like you! I felt guilty for not being excited. I felt guilty for hating being pregnant. I didn't want to tell people cause I didn't want them to be excited and me be miserable. And now that I have had my baby I couldn't imagine life with out her. My unexpected pregnancy was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have never felt so much love for anything before and I even look forward to be woken up in the middle of the night by her so we can have time together! It's not perfect, it's not easy and there are days where I miss the freedom of coming and going as I'd like... but the second I hear her coo or see her smile I am pulled out of those few seconds of missing my old life. It doesn't even compare to the happiness I feel now!

My advice... tell your family! their excitement will get you excited! I was on the go a ton. We traveled monthly and I was a runner and loved going to the gym! I was freaked out about my entire life changing! And it did! for the better! I'll run again... traveling is still happening but now we go on different trips. Family trips! and I am still the same person but I am more complete!

If you would have told me I would have felt this way after having a baby I wouldn't have believed you. Even during my entire pregnancy I had such a hard time. I loved her but I had no idea just how much until there were problems with the delivery and I thought I could loose her! When I finally heard her cry and got to hold her I was in love, instantly!

Everything will be fine and I do understand your fears.... Congratulations by the way!

Just look at what you'll be getting shortly! Here are a few pictures of what pure joy is to me!! From her first days til the present!

















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  #8  
July 23rd, 2007, 03:16 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 3
Thank you all for your kind words and pictures! It really is nice to know that my thoughts and feelings have been shared by others.

Yes my BF knows - he is not happy, but not mad. He said that he doesn't want kids, but knows that this may be a one and only chance for me. Since then he has been avoiding the topic (other than asking me how I feel).

I don't know who named this 'morning sickness' - i have it all day long!!! It does help to eat, however if I don't make the right food choice - I get sicker.

I don't want to tell my family yet, cause I want to be in a place emotionally that I can handle their excitement. I cry at the drop of a hat right now and then turn around and bite someones head off. I'm guessing that is normal too - but not sure. I'm exhausted all of the time -and yet I can't sleep more than an hour or two.

Also -my RLS has been WAY worse - anyone had this happen to them?

Thanks for listening and being there. *HUGS*
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  #9  
July 23rd, 2007, 04:24 PM
lvfunandfit's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,020
Ginger will help with your morning (all day sickness). I nibbled on ginger snaps. Also there are preggo pops. Lolli pops that are supposed to help. I didn't like them but my friend loved them!
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