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OMG!! I was just looking at the posts and I'm like why in the world is my screen name one of the topics? did i do that? ooops....i didnt mean to do that
Scared me a little. I'm sorry I didnt know I was supposed to introduce myself. I apologize.
My name is Zakiyyah, and I am 37 weeks pregnant. I'm 26 and a FTM. Its crazy because as many times as I've clicked on the pregnancy section since I've joined, I'm just now seeing this subforum. Basically I was on the rebound from a previous break up and I got married at the end of September 2006 to a man that I barely knew. My whole family was against it. I have no explanation for my actions other than I was on the rebound. I am known to be a very rational and logical individual but I guess I was just so hurt about the way that my previous marriage had ended....I just wanted the hurt to stop? I dont know. So I marry this man and by December I'm moving to Ohio with him and his 2 year old daughter. Long story short he apparently believes that making me pregnant will somehow 'seal the deal' with me. I say this because apparently he was trying to get me pregnant and I slipped up. Getting me pregnant would somehow make me stay with him once all his sh@# came out. So anyway three months later stuff is coming out about him and I guess he doesnt believe he owes me any sort of explanation or apology or anything and I leave. I'm currently in the process of being divorced...hopefully that will be final soon after my lovely Zarinah is born.
On the much brighter side of things I'm 37 weeks pregnant with a beautiful baby girl. Zarinah Marie is her name (I havent quite decided whether or not I'm giving her his last name). Its Persian as well as African and it means 'made of gold.' I'm currently living in California with my mom and sister who take good care of me. I have a very loving and supportive family and no matter what my soon to be ex-husband decides to do as far as his daughter is concerned, she'll be well taken care of. She will have excellent father figures in her life and frankly I dont really care if he ever shows her his face. I'm not bitter though. I believe that we are all in control of our own actions and the only people that we can blame for the situation we're in is our own da%* selves. I'm where I am right now because of the choices that I've made. I can't make him be the father that I believe he should be, I cant make him believe that she has rights over him....so why stress myself out? I'm already borderline high risk...I cannot afford to be bitter. All I can do is do everything in my power to make sure that she has the best life that she can possibly have. Anyways I'm sure I've given waay TMI....but there's my intro
By the way, what part of CA are you from? I'm in the SF bay area (east bay).[/b]
I live in San Bernardino. Its funny because my sister and I were moving to Northridge b/c she's going to be going to graduate school at CSUN, but we had a hard time finding a place b/c we're not from California (we were born here...but we were raised in Chicago). Then my blood pressure started going up and I became high risk and I told her I couldn't deal with all the stress of moving and that it was affecting my pregnancy and I thought it would be better if I stayed here for now. So then she decided to stay also and go to school part time this first semester.
I thought I was being smart though in changing my doctor. I always wanted to have a natural childbirth with a midwife so I found this midwife in Whittier which is halfway between here and Northridge (about an hour from both). So no matter where we ended up I'd always be an hour from my doctor. When I became high risk however, I had to start going to the perinatal doctor twice a week. Lol so now I have three doc appointments every week and they're an hour away. I thought about changing my doctors again but now I'm high risk, and I like the doctors in Whittier as well as the hospital.....besides the drive isnt bad (its not like I'm driving myself )