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Another unplanned pregnancy...


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
August 21st, 2007, 07:58 AM
paganmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Casselton, ND
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Hello folks. I am Courtney and am new to the board. I am pregnant with my second child and this was definitely an unplanned pregnancy. When I got pregnant with my daughter, she too was unplanned. My pregnancy with her was not the easiest. Lots of morning sickness and tons of depression afterwards. The first time we had sex after my daughter was born, I got pregnant again. It was too soon so my husband and I elected to have an abortion. We divorced about a year later doe to several issues in our relationship. I moved 1800 miles away and have since remarried a wonderful man. But two months after we started dating, I got pregnant again. We chose to have an abortion then as well. We had just gotten into a relationship and wanted to make sure we would work out before having kids. I immediately went on birth control after that and have been on it until July 13, when I got my last period. I already had an appointment for the doctor set for August 24, and would have to be without the pill until then. Well on July 27, my new husband and I got pregnant (again). This time we have decided to accept it and have the baby. He's thrilled really. I am nervous and scared.

I work 4 jobs to make ends meet and he works 2. I know I am going to have to quit one of them because I can't be working from 10AM to 11PM every night with a child. Thomas would be like a single parent if we did that. But even with that job gone, we are going to have to find the money to pay for day care=, which will run about $500 a month. Where in the heck are we going to get that kind of money with me having to quit one of my jobs?

Yes, I am nervous and afraid that I will get behind on bills and not be able to afford to pay my house payment and the other things too. I can only hope and pray that things will get easier over the next 9 months and we will somehow be able to afford this.
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  #2  
August 21st, 2007, 09:39 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: ireland
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congrat on your pregnancy and welcome to the board!

every unplanned pregnancy is scary. we all worry about money and how we're going to make ends meet. but things always work themselves out. have you looked into what kind of welfare you might be entitled to? could your husband take more of the brunt?
what kind of childcare do you have for your daughter?
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  #3  
August 21st, 2007, 12:56 PM
paganmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Casselton, ND
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My daughter lives with her father back in Georgia. He deals with the child care issues there. I make too much money for welfare of any sort. Too much for WIC, too much for even the soup kitchen! My husband is going to take part in some medical studies and that's the only thing we can do to try to afford day care. It's going to be extremely hard for us both.
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  #4  
August 21st, 2007, 07:02 PM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Okay, I'm going to be a little harsh here but where is your money going?! I make decent money and have a 2.5 year old daughter. My DP makes a very good salary. We still qualify for medicaid, child care assistance, and our food stamps just stopped a month ago. I have a mortgage, utilities, a car, a cell phone, cable/internet, and all the regular things plus my portion of daycare. Yet, I still come out with a little bit of money to put away for Gemma's college every month. Also DP does not live with me so he doesn't pay any portion of my bills or the mortgage. So unless you're living well beyond your means there's no reason you shouldn't be able to make ends meet on three jobs plus DH's two. Maybe you should evaluate where your living and if it's worth the cost and how much your paying for things like cell phones, cable, internet, car insurance, etc. You may have to sacrifice some things but there's no reason you can't survive. And if you're only making minimum wage at all your jobs then you should qualify for assistance. GL!
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Sara, 27, married to Shane, 31, mom to Gemma, 6, and Ashlyn, born 8/7/10







Running for my health and sanity!
PR's: 5k-25:05 (old PR 25:10), 5M-45:03 (old PR - 47:22), 10k - 52:00 (approximate - training), HM-2:25:58 (ran a 2:17:36 during marathon), Full- 4:49:25 (old PR -5:49:40), 50k-7:05:56, 50M-13:31:14, 100k- 18:59:31 (old PR 20:56)
(All of these PR's are going down this season!)

My Pregnancy Chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1c6297
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  #5  
August 21st, 2007, 07:39 PM
paganmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Casselton, ND
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Here's basically my budget. Everything is rounded up for nice, easy calculations for the moment.

Aislyn's Child Support - $250
Credit Card 1 - $110
Credit Card 2 - $100
Credit Card 3 - $100
Personal Loan - $106.50
Mortgage - $900
Car Payment - $200
Insurance (2 cars plus life insurance included here) - $200
Satellite/Internet/Phone - $150
Student Loans (coming due next month actually) - $250
Electric - $60
Gas - $60
Water/Garbage/Sewer - $45
Cell Phones - $140

That totals $2671.50. We bring home about $2802 each month. That gives us about $130.50 for gas and food right now, as we are. When I have to quit my 4th job that will cause me to lose $300 a month. My husband may have to do some medical studies to get us through. The only bill that we can feasibly cut is the satellite. I have to have the internet and phone line for college because all of my classes are online and we don't have cable where I live. Therefore I have to have DSL.


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  #6  
August 21st, 2007, 08:24 PM
sarabella
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Is it possible for you to downgrade your cell phone plans to lower costing ones and possibly get rid of your landline?

You might want to also look into consolidating your credit cards and student loans into 1 lower payment.
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  #7  
August 21st, 2007, 08:27 PM
paganmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I already tried consolidating the credit cards. They say I owe too much money to get one card that will accept the balance of all 3 of them. So that sadly didn't work. I definitely tried though. I cannot ditch the land line because I have to have that for the DSL. Since I need DSL for college (online classes only) I cannot be without a phone line. Our cell phone plan we might be able to change, but that might not drop the bill much. We are going to try consolidating the student loans when they come due next month. Since I work for the bank, they might give me a really good rate.
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  #8  
August 22nd, 2007, 01:50 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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theres a finance board here on JM, the ladies there may be able to give you some better advice.

i think a loan consolodation would be something to look into, where you borrow a enough money to pay off all your credit cards and other loans and only pay off that loan over a longer period. the repayments are generally lower than 200 a month, but they use the collateral of your house. something to look into...
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  #9  
August 23rd, 2007, 02:33 AM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would definitely talk with a financial advisor. Your credit card payments shouldn't be that high. My minimum payments are $15, $25, $30, and $35. My student loan payments are $140 and $227. And I don't know the cost of living where you are but your mortgage seems high too. My mortgage is only $410. I'd see if you can take out some kind of home equity loan or something to consolidate everything into one payment of like $900 a month or something. GL!
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Sara, 27, married to Shane, 31, mom to Gemma, 6, and Ashlyn, born 8/7/10







Running for my health and sanity!
PR's: 5k-25:05 (old PR 25:10), 5M-45:03 (old PR - 47:22), 10k - 52:00 (approximate - training), HM-2:25:58 (ran a 2:17:36 during marathon), Full- 4:49:25 (old PR -5:49:40), 50k-7:05:56, 50M-13:31:14, 100k- 18:59:31 (old PR 20:56)
(All of these PR's are going down this season!)

My Pregnancy Chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1c6297
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  #10  
August 23rd, 2007, 05:59 AM
paganmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Casselton, ND
Posts: 1,612
I have tried for a hone equity loan recently but they tell me that since I have been in my home for less than a year that I don't have enough equity yet to be approved. The reason my mortgage is so high is that my husband and I basically owed too much in student loans and other debt to be given a good rate even though our credit rating is perfectly fine. 722 for me and 720 for him. So we have two mortgages, both with adjustable rates on the house. In December 2008 we will be able to refinance and get a decent rate. Until then, we're screwed. I even tried calling one of those TV advertised interest only loan places. They told me to come back after 2 years when we had some equity. *sigh*

My minimum payments on the credit cards are $79 and $45 and $110. So one I pay the minimum and the other two I an paying a little more to try to make the debt go down faster. I can cut down to the minimum but I would rather not.
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  #11  
August 23rd, 2007, 01:36 PM
HighwayDaisy
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By the way, Hi Courtney! Not sure how I missed you before, but welcome!
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