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STILL unsure and confused


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
September 11th, 2005, 11:27 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 78
Hi
It's me again...well, my baby's dad officially doesn't want anything to do with me or his child. He is now claiming that the baby is not his....He said he doesn't give a f&*$ what I do, it's not his problem and he's waiving his parental rights. He said that his only baby is the baby that he had w/ his ex.....I'm officially a single parent now. The messed up thing is that it's not like we had a one night stand, we were together for a yr and half 2 yrs ago and got back together about 7 months ago. I loved him and was happy b/c i knew he would be a good father to my child....I cannot believe that he turned into a stereotypical male. I'm feeling so lost and alone now and blame myself for puting my child in this situation. I know all my crying and stressing is harming the baby but I cannot help it. Last night, i woke up having some type of anxiety attack and couldn't breathe. I was so scared and I couldn't even call him for support.

He told me last night that he never wants me to call him again and that he's getting back together with other baby's mom. I don't know what to do.....

Please help

Thank you,
Jade
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  #2  
September 12th, 2005, 04:22 AM
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Try to relax..I know easier said than done.Maybe once the baby is born he will feel differently.If not you take him right to court for child support.The least he can do is financially help this child.Dont feel guilty....you will be there for this baby and im sure youll be a great mommy with or without him
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  #3  
September 12th, 2005, 07:33 AM
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I got pregnant the first time when I was 17. The father at first was fine, had no problems with it. Then he started messing around and dropped us for another "girl". I fought back, I wanted it to work, we had a baby on the way. Let me tell you, that isn't the smartest idea. Let him figure out on his own that he's screwed up. We went on and got married, had our daughter, then 2 years later had a son. The marriage was horrible. When my son was almost 3 I got the heck out of there. I then realized I was crazy for trying to make something work with someone that was so bullheaded. He saw my kids for a couple of weeks after I moved out, then he bailed. It was 4 years before he even called. Then it was all about trying to get my new husband to adopt the kids so he wouldn't have to pay child support. Yep, now that is the stereotypical male. I have a husband now that is absolutely in love with my kids, they call him dad. We've been married for 8 years...my oldest is 14.

Trust me, in time everything will work out. When I was at my parents house alone while he was out partying around, I was a wreck just like you. Now I wish I wouldn't have wasted my energy. The best is yet to come. When the baby is born you will fall madly in love with him/her. The ex can have his life, he's the one that will be missing out. But don't give him the glory of not supporting the baby. That is his responsibility. He needs to grow up and realize what is going on and he can't just give up his rights to void his financial responsiblities.

Ok, sorry for making this so long, I just had to throw my 2 cents worth in. Whatever you decide, good luck. There is something good that will come out of this, trust me. Every day when my daughter and son get up for school, I see what we have overcome without him. It's an amazing journey!
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  #4  
September 12th, 2005, 09:06 AM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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The only thing I can say is write down everything you know about him, place he works, type of car and plates, phone # and adress, birthday. That way when the baby is born you can get child support even if he tries to run from it. Just because he's a stupid jerk doesnt mean you have to suffer and work 3 jobs just to make ends met. You can do this. The reason we give birth is because we are the strong, smart ones.
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  #5  
September 12th, 2005, 10:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by TylerJ1029@Sep 12 2005, 10:06 AM
The only thing I can say is write down everything you know about him, place he works, type of car and plates, phone # and adress, birthday.* That way when the baby is born you can get child support even if he tries to run from it.* Just because he's a stupid jerk doesnt mean you have to suffer and work 3 jobs just to make ends met.* You can do this.* The reason we give birth is because we are the strong, smart ones.
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}>
[/quote]
AMEN, SISTER!
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  #6  
September 12th, 2005, 11:55 AM
nat81
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hun! and I agree with Jen (that's a very smart idea). Good luck with everything and remember we are always here to listen.
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  #7  
September 12th, 2005, 12:05 PM
BlueHaze24's Avatar Veteran
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Hey there! Sounds like we are kinda in the same situation....I just heard from a close friend of mine, that my ex, is now saying the same thing "I dont even know if the baby is mine" I ws EXTREMLY Pi$$ed off when I heard this! Broke my heart, at the same time! We were "together" for over a year, thenwe split up, and this past April we got bck together for about 3 months, and within that first month, is when I go pregnant! And he knows ###### well, this baby is his! Just makes me so ###### frustrated! Guys can be such jerks at times!!!!! I also havet spoke to him now, in about 2 months, so he has no idea what is going on with me, which to me...is good..keep him wondering. The hardest part of it all is, I got VERY close to his family when we were together for that first year, even ended up moving in with them, because had some problems with my room-mate at the time. And I havent even spoke to them, or told them myself that I am preggo! I feel bad, but I am worried on how they will take it, and who knows what their son has been telling them! I want to call him so bad, just talk, we were so close, more or les, kinda like I let go of him, for this time, because he was just getting on my nerves, and I just know him and I, will never work out. Then frustrated at myself, for getting myself in this situation, its not like I "asked" for it. But the only thing Ican do, is keep my head up, and look foward, not back, and know, that Ican do this, with or with out his sorry *****!!!!!!!!
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  #8  
September 12th, 2005, 12:57 PM
1shortmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree with what everyone has said....Make him pay child support. They may make him take a paternity test but so what!?!?! Then he can't say the baby isn't his. Also, you will be an excellent mother by yourself if you need to be. There are government programs that will help you get on your feet if you are struggling to make ends meet. I know that some people are against these programs but they are there. They are designed to help you when you can't help yourself. As soon as you see this baby and hold this baby in your arms for the first time you will love the baby enough for both of you!

and good luck to you.

Just remember that we are here to support you no matter what!
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