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What is the hardest thing..


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
December 29th, 2007, 11:57 PM
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about having a baby at this point in your life? A pregnancy and a baby are hard enough when planned.. I'm just curious what difficulties you've dealt with in pregnancy or with a baby.



For me the hardest thing is probably time. I want to finish school.. I really want to be a lawyer. And I definitely need to start work back up either the first week of January or the second.. but the problem is that I want to spend ALL of my time with Libby. It sucks.. especially the thought of Jared's grandma watching her while we're at work.. the thought of her witnessing Libby's first word.. or her first step.. BREAKS MY HEART.

It's also really hard on our marriage. I honestly don't know if we'll make it. Neither of us wanted children. I LOVE Libby more than life itself now.. and I know Jared loves her too.. it's just that while I've settled into the responsibility and I'm really happy.. I feel like Jared really wants to go back to being a kid. He's 25 flipping years old. All he ever wants to do is go out drinking, or go to the gym and workout. He is SO cute with Libby.. but he only wants to be around her for like.. an hour a day.. and then he's all up for dumping her at a relative's house so we can sleep or go out and do something. That's just not being a parent, in my opinion. You can't only want it when it's convenient.
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  #2  
December 31st, 2007, 02:32 PM
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I am going to say time as well.

I was doing so well in school and now I am not sure when I'll go back, or if I will even be interested in what I started.

Also my age... Some older people, usually strangers feel it is alright for them to tell me how to care for my child while I'm at WalMart just because I am young. It is very frustrating to take their unwanted advice and just walk away without starting anything...
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  #3  
January 1st, 2008, 03:21 PM
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This pregnancy came at a time when I was ready to go back to work and school. My DD is starting school in Aug 08 and my son is almost completely potty trained. I was ready to go back to being a working mom. I worked the 1st 3 years with DD and I only left work when DS was 6 months old because we relocated due to my husbands work. I loved being home and taking a break from the corporate world for a while but I was so ready to jump back in. We have no family here to help with kids for even a night out so I am going stir crazy!
But once the initial shock was over I decided everything happens for a reason and I will be thankful for this baby coming into our lives so unexpected and I will cherish every moment. I am getting my tubes tied this time around.

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  #4  
January 3rd, 2008, 02:36 PM
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This is my first time around and I think the hardest thing so far has been dealing with the loss of independence. I've been on my own for so long... no one to take care of, no one taking care of me. Now my boyfriend and I are really tied up in this and I'll never be looking out for just myself anymore. It's a whole new level of responsibility.
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  #5  
January 3rd, 2008, 09:49 PM
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Quote:
This is my first time around and I think the hardest thing so far has been dealing with the loss of independence. I've been on my own for so long... no one to take care of, no one taking care of me. Now my boyfriend and I are really tied up in this and I'll never be looking out for just myself anymore. It's a whole new level of responsibility. [/b]
Ditto. Plus I never realized just what a strain it could be on a marriage. wow. It's so weird to think that I literally have someone's life or death in my hands.
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  #6  
January 4th, 2008, 12:15 PM
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Quote:
It's also really hard on our marriage. I honestly don't know if we'll make it. Neither of us wanted children. I LOVE Libby more than life itself now.. and I know Jared loves her too.. it's just that while I've settled into the responsibility and I'm really happy.. I feel like Jared really wants to go back to being a kid. He's 25 flipping years old. All he ever wants to do is go out drinking, or go to the gym and workout. He is SO cute with Libby.. but he only wants to be around her for like.. an hour a day.. and then he's all up for dumping her at a relative's house so we can sleep or go out and do something. That's just not being a parent, in my opinion. You can't only want it when it's convenient.[/b]
Uggh, this just about describes my husband, except that he is 28 and more into cars than drinking. I HATE that he always wants her to be with someone else, and she LOVES him so much. She gets all excited whenever he looks at her! It breaks my heart
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  #7  
January 5th, 2008, 07:02 AM
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The hardest part for me is the feeling like I am doing it all over again. I am 33 and my girls will be 5 and 8 when the baby is born. I really thought I was done. Not only that, but I was dating the father for only two months Now we are having to adjust to living together when there will be a baby in just a few months. It's a lot of adjustment for all of us.
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  #9  
February 18th, 2008, 02:18 AM
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For me, timing was kinda off, but we don't regret having our little girl. I'm dreading starting school in May and having to take care of her at the same time. At least it is Distance Learning(school from home, community college) so I won't be away from her, but who's got the time to really sit online to get all the schooling done with a 5 month old? LOL.
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  #10  
February 18th, 2008, 06:21 AM
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I'm glad you revived this thread!

There are several difficult things about this pregnancy but taking the father out of it (I'll be doing this on my own) the hardest part will be juggling the activities of a 7yo and a 9yo while carrying around a baby seat and diaper bag and having to stop to nurse! I hope I haven't forgotten how to do this baby stuff, it's been a loooong time!

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  #11  
February 18th, 2008, 07:40 AM
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It has been difficult for my bf Ryan to adjust to being a father. He wanted me to get an abortion and I refused...he has stuck with us through it but he just struggles with it. He loves her and says he loves me but he has pushed me away so much since we found out. He is head over heels in love with Leila and showers her with attention and love. Me however he seems to be very distant from...

Money is tight, not working is hard, wanting to go back to school, his mom being a first time grandma, problems with his dad(who is remarried and has a 4 year old and a 2 year old and is talking about having more lol), etc...but I would say that my BF is the biggest struggle.
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  #12  
February 18th, 2008, 12:35 PM
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No more grad school plans, at least not for right now. I like to say it's a relief, especially when I'm talking to my husband, but the truth is, I am SO SCARED not to have school to fall back on. I've been doing it nonstop for 17 years.

It's also very difficult for me to wonder how my husband is going to be with this baby. He is very loving and sweet, he wants a family, but this was not planned at all, and I know he was looking forward to being my only "baby" for at least another year and a half, until school was over for me. He's let it be known that newborns scare him, so I'm very worried that he will try to hide from this. It's already so easy for me to feel alone, especially since this was unplanned and it's brought on so many insecurities.

Oh, and the morning sickness. The morning sickness is hard.

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  #13  
February 18th, 2008, 12:41 PM
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I think the hardest thing for me is knowing how drastically my life is going to be changing. I was just getting to a place where I was happy after my divorce and life was going along great. I am scared about everything being different in a few months. About how I will be responsible for someone else's life. About having to explain to my child why his/her father is not in the picture. I am trying not to focus on the things I can't control, but it just seems that I don't have control over so much in my life right now.
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  #14  
February 20th, 2008, 08:33 AM
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I think the hardest thing for me is knowning that my son won't know his daddy all that well... I grew up without my dad and always told myself that my children wouldn't have to go through that, but here I am, 20 years old, 8 months pregnant and the baby's daddy is gone. long gone I think..... I know he's going to regret it later, but nothing I say to him seems like its getting through..... Every kick or turn he makes just fills me with so much joy and knowing that he's not there to experince it, just makes me sad, but it also makes me angry..... for so many reasons....


I must also admit I'm a little scared about doing this alone, with me being responsible for another child's life. but I know I can do it. My mom did it, and so did a lot of women in my family. Things may be hard at times, but I'm just looking forward to that first word, first smile, first step... and I know it will all be worthwhile, even if the preganacy was unplanned and unexpected at this point in my life.
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  #15  
February 20th, 2008, 10:02 AM
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I think the hardest thing for me is feeling like I am back at sqaure one with my life. I had my first daughter when I was a senior in highschool and I ended up quiting and getting my GED I went back to work and started college when she was one but it was so demanding having a baby, work and school so I only went for a year and took some time off..I figured I would work for a couple of years until she started school..than BAM.... I got pregnant again when she was 3...now she is 4 and about to start pre-k in aug and I can't go back to school or work..I have my other dughter and I will stay home with her for the first year just like I did with my other... I can't go to work because for me to put both kids in daycare now it would cost me atleast 900$ a month in childcare andI don't even think I could find a job that pays enough for that. But everday I get up and look at my girls andI feel better about it..I know that I will have my time eventually. My DF's mom had him and his sister young as well and didn't go to college until she was almost 30 and she did it..so I know I can
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  #16  
February 20th, 2008, 10:26 AM
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Um I would say not having my immediate family around to help me.. they live kind of far.
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