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I talked to the father


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
December 26th, 2004, 12:32 PM
giggles's Avatar Regular
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He called me on Christmas Eve. I was upstairs watching television and just be lazy and my brother gave me the phone and I asked who it was and he said its James and I was like oh god Im not ready for this conversation, so I took the call and I said hi and he asked me what was going on and what it was I needed to talk to him really bad for, I told him I took a pregnancy test and that it was positive and he was like man this is big and he kept talking about his girlfriend who I had no idea about. Well he ended the call saying he needed to think. He called me Christmas morning at my friends house crying making it alot worse on me. I dont know if he is meaning to or not but he is, he said he is afraid of loosing his girlfriend who he is supose to marry...and he never had a father and didnt know how to be one. I dont understand, doesnt he know how this sorda ###### happened, he wasnt that drunk, I was the one trashed, why does he got to make it worse when I have excepted it and gotton happy about it, now all I have done is thought about it and cried because now I am so confused to what to do. I wrote him a letter telling him I will never abort this child cause I couldnt live with that decison, and my family would disown me for good. My parents are happy about it, just not about the situation and neither am I, but I have gotton use to this. I am changing everything I do for this baby and he is making it so much harder on me. I dont need to stress out over this but its like he doesnt care. What do I do? I kinda wish I never told him but it was the right thing to do right???



Also what is with it when I guy comes out and says are you sure I am the only one you have been with. I mean if we wasnt sure why the hell would we tell you you are the father. Just because there are girls out there who frame men..I am 100 percent he is the father, he is the only one I have been with in 7 months. God I feel so depressed from all this ######.
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Alexandria Rae-Lynn Steele
Due Date was Aug 6, 2005
Miscarried: Jan 5, 2005

"my little angel is now with my dear grandmother, I know she is watching her for me, til I can go home to her and meet my baby girl for the first time"
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  #2  
December 26th, 2004, 01:09 PM
AmberC's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well I think that you need to tell him that it takes TWO to make a baby. You both made a decision that is going to affect the rest of your lives. Tell him that he needs to step up and be a man and help take care of this child because its a part of him too. Loosing his girlfriend... well then he shouldn't have slept with you in the first place if thats what he was afraid of. There are consequences to everything we do whether good or bad. Remind him OF the fact that HE never had a father and does he REALLY want his OWN child to grow up without one?


I'm sorry you are in this situation. I hope that he will be a standup guy and help with the responsibility of taking care of something HE had part in.
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  #3  
December 26th, 2004, 01:28 PM
I Heart 4x4
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Amber gave you some good advice. If he doesn't want to willingly cooperate, that's what DNA testing and the court system is for!! You can do this! ((hugs))
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  #4  
December 26th, 2004, 01:29 PM
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He has apoligized for this happening and he did say it took us both, its just the fact he is making this harder on me when I dont really need to deal with this right now. Plus I have a cousin who is judging me and I am sick of people throwing it in my face just how I messed up. I need a vacation. Its just making this pregnancy worse cause he is crying about his girlfriend and I agree he shouldnt of slept with me if he had one which i had no idea about. well thankyou so much...it has helped a little.
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Alexandria Rae-Lynn Steele
Due Date was Aug 6, 2005
Miscarried: Jan 5, 2005

"my little angel is now with my dear grandmother, I know she is watching her for me, til I can go home to her and meet my baby girl for the first time"
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  #5  
December 26th, 2004, 01:31 PM
I Heart 4x4
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((hugs)) Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. The only thing that matters is your child .... you can do this!
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  #6  
December 26th, 2004, 01:34 PM
giggles's Avatar Regular
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thankyou very much...I just wish people would see how much I am sacrificing for this baby. I am stopping my drinking alltogether which is very hard but I am doing it for this baby...I just want all the pressure off me for now.
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Alexandria Rae-Lynn Steele
Due Date was Aug 6, 2005
Miscarried: Jan 5, 2005

"my little angel is now with my dear grandmother, I know she is watching her for me, til I can go home to her and meet my baby girl for the first time"
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  #7  
December 26th, 2004, 01:39 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}} I`m so sorry you are feeling so bad. Things will get better!
Just take care of yourself.......If you have family willing to help you...lean on them a bit. You will find the strength you need to get you through all of this........Being a Mom is the greatest joy in this world! { Even if the daddy isn`t the greatest} YOU CAN DO THIS!!!


~~GOD BLESS YOU & YOUR LITTLE ONE~~
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  #8  
December 26th, 2004, 01:49 PM
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thankyou...I shouldnt be getting stressed out over this...but thankyou all of you. I feel like crying, thats all I feel like doing...Yesterday I held my babys newborn and I just was so happy to know I will be holding one soon...
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Alexandria Rae-Lynn Steele
Due Date was Aug 6, 2005
Miscarried: Jan 5, 2005

"my little angel is now with my dear grandmother, I know she is watching her for me, til I can go home to her and meet my baby girl for the first time"
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  #9  
December 31st, 2004, 07:27 AM
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Posts: 17
Quote:
Originally posted by giggles@Dec 26 2004, 10:29 PM
He has apoligized for this happening and he did say it took us both, its just the fact he is making this harder on me when I dont really need to deal with this right now. Plus I have a cousin who is judging me and I am sick of people throwing it in my face just how I messed up. I need a vacation. Its just making this pregnancy worse cause he is crying about his girlfriend and I agree he shouldnt of slept with me if he had one which i had no idea about. well thankyou so much...it has helped a little.
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}>
[/quote]

I know how you feel- I got pregnant at 18, the father and I were together but I had to move in with my parents because he wasn't providing for me while pregnant and I was high risk. Long story short it didn't work out, I'm now 20 years old, momma to Devin Thomas, and it IS hard, there's no way anyone can honestly say it's easy, but every time I look into his little face I know there was a reason for all of this, and YOU WILL MAKE IT! Your baby deserves a father who'll support him, be there for him, and love him above everything because you will do the same for the little one.

So if you end up going this alone, my only advice is to let people help, but never take them for granted- raisin' kids is hard, rewarding work, 24/7!
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<center><p style="background:white;"><font face="verdana,arial,sans-serif" size="1" color="black">Devin Thomas, 6/16/2004!</font>
</p></center>
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  #10  
December 31st, 2004, 12:25 PM
AmberC's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm glad your feeling at least a little bit better. (((HUGS)))
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