Log In Sign Up

Hey Ladies..


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Unplanned Pregnancy LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
January 27th, 2008, 08:05 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,258
Hey ladies... Just wanted to introduce myself. Normally I'm a happy go lucky person but this time my introduction is going to be pretty depressing... So yesterday I just found out I'm pregnant..... I have a 17 month old little girl who is my absolute life. She my shining diamond and I seriously couldn't picture my life without her. I also have a 4 year old step daughter who lives with us 24/7. Her mother only sees her 2 hours a week supervised by my husband and myself. My husband and I aren't poor but we are by no means rich. We live in a two bedroom apartment and I drive a little sports car that I sqeeze the two kids we have now in. And on top of it I'm pregnant.. also let me add.. I'm only 22. In 9 months I will be 22 with 3 KIDS!!! My husband works offshore is and is ALWAYS gone.. so I do it all pretty much by myself.

So when I found out I was totally devistated and cried for the longest I've ever cried.. My husband is completely estatic about it. He just cannot wait and has been really nice about. I absolutley don't have one bone in my body that is happy abotu it.. I do not at all not one piece of me wants this baby. All I've wanted for the rest of my life is just my daughter and myself... No more. I have my hands full enough as it is. I know I'll probably get ridiculed for letting it happen.. but I thought I was being totally careful. Plus we hardly have sex as it is with the two kids who BOTH sleep in our room.

I've been thinking of takin the pill that eliminates the pregnancy.. I dont know much about it.. I'm going to call tommorrow.. but the thing is my husband would never agree to it.. I would have to actually do it behind his back.. That breaks my heart becuase I love him so much and he's a wonderful father we just aren't financiallly ready and i'm not emotionally ready. I have no idea what to do. I've never been so depressed in my whole life. I seriously cannot stop thinking about what in the hell am I going to do. I feel life the rest of my life is ruined and my little girl just hasn't had the time she needs as the baby. I'm going to call and see what my options are. I have a friend who just took the same pill and it worked for her. She had no complications. .I don't know the price or really anything at all abou t it except that it exsists.

I dont' really know if I'm asking anything or needing advice I think really I just wanted to vent. If you got this far through my story thank you so much for taking the time to read it... And thank you for the chance to vent as I have no else to talk to abotu it. No one in my family would understand and my husband definently wouldn't....
Reply With Quote
  #2  
January 27th, 2008, 08:50 PM
Jax's Avatar
Jax Jax is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pekin, Il
Posts: 3,671
Send a message via AIM to Jax
Welcome!!!!! And no pointed fingers for getting pregnant, here.. trust me.. none of us would be in this thread if we'd meant to do it

First of all, congrats.. I know this isn't exactly what you wanted.. but congrats none the less. Secondly, you and your husband make BEAUTIFUL babies (aka your daughter is an absolute camera ham).

When I found out about Libby, I cried for two straight weeks. I was in a similar situation.. kinda sorta. I got married at 19 to my husband (who was 23) and we had no intention of EVER having children.. much less when I was 21 (I got pregnant around our one year anny when I was 20, and delivered october 24th)

Usually when girls say that they want to terminate a pregnancy, I would urge them to do it immediately if they're going to absolutely do it.. however, in your case.. (I hope no one hates me for saying this) I'd give yourself a little more time to think it over.

I can't even EXPLAIN how devestated I was when I found out that I was pregnant. I wanted NOTHING but to end it.. however, I couldn't bring myself to do it.. and I couldn't possibly be any happier that I didn't.

As for money.. no matter what, you'll make it. As for space.. I'm sure that'll work itself out too.. and for car.. maybe it's time to upgrade to a (used) van or suv.

Having another baby WILL be stressful at times.. but only for a few years. In the entirety of a lifetime.. a few years is not a lot at all (though I know it's rough when you're IN those years). Think about how easily this will all come 5 years down the road.. 10 years.. so on and so forth. Plus you'll just have more love to give and a bigger family.

No one can make this choice for you, though if I could give you one piece of advice.. it would be to talk this over with your husband.. because ultimately, this is his child, too. I know you feel trapped into going behind his back.. but maybe if you explain how you truly feel, he'll have some insight.. or at least an understanding heart.

Good luck, stick around, and keep us updated!
__________________



myspace
Reply With Quote
  #3  
January 27th, 2008, 09:43 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,258
Quote:
Welcome!!!!! And no pointed fingers for getting pregnant, here.. trust me.. none of us would be in this thread if we'd meant to do it

First of all, congrats.. I know this isn't exactly what you wanted.. but congrats none the less. Secondly, you and your husband make BEAUTIFUL babies (aka your daughter is an absolute camera ham).

When I found out about Libby, I cried for two straight weeks. I was in a similar situation.. kinda sorta. I got married at 19 to my husband (who was 23) and we had no intention of EVER having children.. much less when I was 21 (I got pregnant around our one year anny when I was 20, and delivered october 24th)

Usually when girls say that they want to terminate a pregnancy, I would urge them to do it immediately if they're going to absolutely do it.. however, in your case.. (I hope no one hates me for saying this) I'd give yourself a little more time to think it over.

I can't even EXPLAIN how devestated I was when I found out that I was pregnant. I wanted NOTHING but to end it.. however, I couldn't bring myself to do it.. and I couldn't possibly be any happier that I didn't.

As for money.. no matter what, you'll make it. As for space.. I'm sure that'll work itself out too.. and for car.. maybe it's time to upgrade to a (used) van or suv.

Having another baby WILL be stressful at times.. but only for a few years. In the entirety of a lifetime.. a few years is not a lot at all (though I know it's rough when you're IN those years). Think about how easily this will all come 5 years down the road.. 10 years.. so on and so forth. Plus you'll just have more love to give and a bigger family.

No one can make this choice for you, though if I could give you one piece of advice.. it would be to talk this over with your husband.. because ultimately, this is his child, too. I know you feel trapped into going behind his back.. but maybe if you explain how you truly feel, he'll have some insight.. or at least an understanding heart.

Good luck, stick around, and keep us updated![/b]
First I would just like to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for being so supportive. I was so worried everyone would flip on me for thinking of aborting. And I totally agree about speaking to my husband but he knows that I don't want this pregnancy at all. I have made that VERY clear to him. I know he would totally flip on me if I even mentioned the pill. And if I did and he did flip then I would have no chance of taking it because when I do he would know whether I tried to lie about it or not.

I understand what you mean about loving your baby that you cried abotu at first but from the angle I'm comming from this isnt my first pregnancy. And I have a full time step child. So I will be 22 with THREE KIDS! That is soooooooo much responsiblity. And my husband works a week off and then he's home for a week but ends up working alot of the days he's off.. So when I say I raise them alone... I mean ALONE. Also my step daughter starts kindergarden in August. I would 8 months pregnant. I would be fat and miserable waking up at 6 AM to get her ready for school.. have to pack up a 1 year old and still be pregnant in the mist.. And then the next month I'd have the baby and be in an even worse situation.. how would i wake up every morning that early with a 4 year old, 1 year and 1 month old and not completely kill myself from exhaustion?

I woudl never ever in my whole life ever think that I would consider aborting. Expecially since i"m married but.... Its such bad timing.

Since tommorrow is monday I will call a dr and see what my options even are.. I may not even be able to or may not be able to keep it from the husband because of the visits and money aspect.. I dont know..

But thank you so much for your kind words....
Reply With Quote
  #4  
February 3rd, 2008, 03:14 PM
Mommy to Emma
Guest
Posts: n/a
Not sure what you decided to do but if you choose to go the abortion route, you should most certainly not do it behind your husband's back. I'm worried that would lead to feelings of guilt or that it would cause serious trust issues between the two of you.

It is a lot of responsibility for someone so young. Only you know how much you can handle.

I'd sit your husband down and explain your fears and concerns to him.

I cried when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter and was TERRIFIED to tell my boyfriend. Of course, he reacted the way I thought he would, he flipped out and said I needed to get an abortion ASAP. I gave it some time to think about and I couldn't do it. He ended up being very supportive.... until I was 7 months pregnant and he broke up with me and kicked me out of our apartment.

I thought that things were devastating and I seriously considered killing myself.

But I didn't. And I became a much stronger person out of it and learned what I am truly capable of handling.

When she was 2 months old, we decided to get counseling and are now back together.

When I first came to JM, I found the unplanned pregnancy board and trust me, there are lots of women in your situation out there who can lend shoulders to lean on.

Good luck and I wish you the best!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
February 4th, 2008, 06:51 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 3,668
Send a message via AIM to msbritt86
Hope your dealing with everything ok..

Its very daunting to think about everything like how its going to be with a newborn for the first year or two.. But it might help if you look ahead 3 or 4 years your daughter will have close siblings and you will be out of the baby stage... 2 more years and they are in school!!! SO thats about 5 years out of a whole life time that would be difficult... But if you chooose or chose to go the other route we are still here for you .. NO judging here.. Whatever you choose will be right for you and your family!
__________________

Thanks to Heather aka Mom2*Lauryn*Jacob* for my awesome siggy!!!
Make a pregnancy ticker
Reply With Quote
  #7  
February 5th, 2008, 11:58 AM
booboobunny's Avatar mzdee
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,437
just wanted to give you hugs !!! i think the ladies made alot of good comments, i have nothing to add !!!
__________________




Me - Daynuh

Reply With Quote
  #8  
February 5th, 2008, 08:54 PM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 10,350
Send a message via AIM to sara~b
I was just lurking but your post really got my attention. First off, let me say that I have been in your shoes! I am 23 and have been pregnant three times! I aborted my first and I will NEVER get over the guilt and hurt that I feel from being pressured into it. I was in college and thought it was the best thing I could do. I wanted a 'real' life and to have children when I was married and stable. The big thing is that the mysoprex (I believe that's the name of the pill) is only effective up to 5 or 6 weeks or so. After that you have to have a surgical abortion. Having already given birth you probably remember how bad the cramping and bleeding were for the 3 or 4 weeks after delivery right? Multiply that by ten and you'll come close to what it's like after having an abortion.

Please, before you make up your mind, check out this website. http://www.standupgirl.com It's more focused on unplanned teen pregnancy but it still tells the truth about abortion and how many women feel awful about themselves after having one. Not to mention the many possible side effects on your health!

The final thing that I will tell you is that whenever you think your life is overwhelming sometimes you have to stop and count your blessings. Could you imagine life without your daughter, step daughter or husband? Would you be happier if you didn't have all the responsibility? I thought I would be. But the harder my life gets the more I'm greatful for the things that keep me grounded, especially my daughter. Maybe this baby is a blessing in disguise and your life will be better with another little one! Also are you so sure that you don't want this baby that you are willing to lose your husband and step-daughter? If you lie about taking the pill and then he finds out it could cause more than just trust issues. Are you willing to risk an ugly divorce, being a single mother, and having to share custody of your daughter with your ex husband? Believe me, I am a single mother and just went through a custody battle. NOTHING could ever force me to go through that again. It is the most painful and heartbreaking thing you will ever deal with.

Please, think carefully and choose wisely. No one can tell you what is best for you or your situation but it can't hurt to be 100% sure you understand the consequences your actions might have. I wish you the best of luck!
__________________
Sara, 27, married to Shane, 31, mom to Gemma, 6, and Ashlyn, born 8/7/10







Running for my health and sanity!
PR's: 5k-25:05 (old PR 25:10), 5M-45:03 (old PR - 47:22), 10k - 52:00 (approximate - training), HM-2:25:58 (ran a 2:17:36 during marathon), Full- 4:49:25 (old PR -5:49:40), 50k-7:05:56, 50M-13:31:14, 100k- 18:59:31 (old PR 20:56)
(All of these PR's are going down this season!)

My Pregnancy Chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1c6297
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:10 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0