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There goes my master's degree...


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
February 9th, 2008, 09:17 PM
itsmemaggi's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I can't say I'm tremendously disappointed. I feel like I've been in school forever, and I really wasn't feeling the whole graduate school thing, anyway (that, like so much else in my life, was my mom's idea).

It certainly doesn't fit in with the whole "plan" my husband and I had sort-of worked out, a plan that didn't involve us having children until I was already mostly done with grad school (I'm just about to graduate with my bachelor's, so at least that hasn't been jeopardized) and he had earned enough money to not be panicked.

But I've wanted a baby for a long time. Everyone around me knew that. It's funny, because it's been hard for me to remember the pill every day, and my husband has teased me about that, but this time, I was good, I took them every day. And, ironically, this was the time I got pregnant, anyway.

Right now I'm mostly dealing with the fact that it doesn't yet feel real, especially to my husband who, unlike me, seems to be able to put the idea on a shelf and come back to it at a later time, when it's more convenient or he just feels better equipped to handle it. The nausea is a bee-otch, too. Of all that I inherited from my mother, apparently I didn't get her strong stomach.

And speaking of my mother, I'm just dreading the day I have to tell her that, no, I don't think I'm going to be able to go to a Fall semester of grad school, take a few days off to have the kid, and then just jump right back into school.

More pending my doctor's appointment, Tuesday. Thanks to all who endured this semi-rant.

xoxo
Maggi
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  #2  
February 9th, 2008, 09:53 PM
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First of all.. congrats and welcome.. second of all.. congrats on your soon-to-be-graduation-day.

Third.. you'll be able to manage it JUST fine.. you're obviously very driven. Trust me.. college+working+baby is NOT that hard once you get into the swing of things.. especially with a husband.

and they're soooo worth it

I hope you'll stick around.

And I know what a jerk Lady Morning Sickness can be. Why do they refer to it as morning sickness when it's truly an all day affair? -sigh- it'll go away and soon you'll barely remember it. (hard to imagine, I know)

Good luck telling your mom..
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  #3  
February 10th, 2008, 05:38 AM
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Dont you hate when other prople pressure you to do things like getting a master.. encouragement is one thing! You shouldnt feel bad at all you will be baking and raising a baby.. there willl always be time to go back if you WANT to! You sound like a very motivated person and youll figure it all out!
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  #4  
February 10th, 2008, 07:59 AM
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Thanks so much for the words of encouragement. In my mom's defense, she has been helping me through the whole morning sickness issue, even though she never experienced it when she was pregnant. So she *does* know about the pregnancy (I can't seem to keep things a secret very well), she's just convinced I will somehow pawn the kid off on someone else while I go back to school, which I really don't know if I can do. My aunt is retired, and would gladly watch him/her, but I know from 20 years of living with her that she has a knack for taking care of kids and animals. They just gravitate toward her. I have this fear of coming home from class, one day, and having the baby cry hysterically when I try to take him/her away from my aunt...

In New York City, having a master's is kind of necessary if you're going to teach in the public school system, but we're planning on getting out of here within the next year or two (hubby was really just waiting for me to finish school), anyway. I don't know. It's just that now's the time when I have to think about grad school scholarships (I had a full ride for undergrad and was hoping for a repeat performance) and assistantships and all that, if I'm going to even consider doing this.

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  #5  
February 10th, 2008, 08:51 AM
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Could you wait a little while to go to grad school, or go part time with daycare? Dunno what your options are. I got pregnant on the pill as I was planning to get my masters, and have decided to wait until fall and then take a class at a time. I work 12 hour shifts and weekends so that she is either with me or my husband usually, but she goes to an in home daycare 2x a week for 8 hours while we both work
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  #6  
February 10th, 2008, 10:57 AM
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around here they pay all young teachers to get their masters once they have a job... so maybe you could opt for something like that..
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  #7  
February 10th, 2008, 08:03 PM
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Hi sorry I just happened upon your post. I live in NY also and I'm completing my master's in special ed, with a toddler. Trust me grad school is soo much easier than undergrad is. I took off two years between graduation and starting grad school I had thought about just being a stay at home mom and not ever going back to work. Well I ended up going back to school when my daughter was 4 months old, part time as well as working full time and getting a divorce. I still work full time and will be done with grad school in august, have my own house and have a kid entering the terrible twos. If I can do it on my own you'll be able to handle it with a supportive husband.
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  #8  
February 12th, 2008, 11:20 AM
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Hi again!

Thanks for all the support you all have shown. I really don't know what's going to happen. I'm taking my second and third grad classes this semester, on top of my last 2 undergrad classes (needed to have 12 credits to keep my scholarship). I may take some time off school to be with my baby, especially while I have that luxury. Who knows what the next few years will throw at us, though? My mom's convinced that if I take time off I'll never go back to school, because that's what happened to her, but I know that if I really want it, I'll do it.

Thanks again, everyone. You have no idea what all of this advice and support means to me.

xoxo
Maggi
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  #9  
February 12th, 2008, 12:16 PM
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If you want to or need to go back to school in the future you will. I took one semester towards my BS then dropped out and joined the military. After the military I got pregnant with my DD. After I had her and realized I couldn't find a job that paid very well I started going back to school. I'm not 3/4 of the way done with two AAS degrees. It's not easy but it's worth it. And if you get a good job without going back to school then why does it matter anyway? GL!
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