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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
February 13th, 2008, 12:05 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 3
im 19 im about 8 weeks along. im about to go back to school in a few weeks and im just starting to get my life back together. im seriously thinking about having a abortion but my boyfriend doesnt want to and wont help me pay for it. we have a bad relationship we fight all the time and dont get along at all. he already has 2 kids that are both under 3 years that hes never seen or helped with. he owes $8,000 in child support. i dont want to end up like the other 2 mothers on welfare. im to smart to have a kid this young and work fast food for the rest of my life. i dont want to have morning sickness in a class room either. i know i should take responsibilty and have it but i have the rest of my life to have kids. right?
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  #2  
February 13th, 2008, 12:14 PM
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Location: Bakersfield, CA
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First of all, remember that this is your decision, not your boyfriend's decision, not your parents' decision, not anyone's decision but yours. I had an abortion when I was 17 years old. I felt like it was the best decision for me at the time because I met the father on the internet and I did not want to raise a child with him. I was also terrified of what my father would do to me if he found out. However, I had a miscarriage two weeks ago, and I feel like I am being punished for having an abortion. My second pregnancy was just as unplanned as my first pregnancy, but the difference is now I am in a loving committed relationship with my fiance Chris. He asked me to marry him on Christmas Eve, two weeks before we found out that I was pregnant. We decided to keep our baby; we even picked out names, but now our baby is in heaven and we will never even know whether it was a boy or a girl. I am grieving the loss of my second chance. Please consider all of your options before you make a decision. I wish I had at least considered adoption instead of abortion.
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  #3  
February 13th, 2008, 03:41 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 3,668
Send a message via AIM to msbritt86
You need to do whats best for you.. but I am pro life and I also think that you putting up with a little bit of morning sickness and having a beautiful baby girl/boy and give him/her up for adoption to a loving family. You could do an open adoption. A friend of mine in high school got pregnant and gave her little boy up for adoption its very open and she sees him all the time. He is very happy and has brothers and sisters and just started elementary school and loves his teacher. I am just telling you this so you really consider adoption... You should PM Jax for the password to our forum there are stories up there with people who were in the same situation and what they did.

Good luck in your decision... In the end you do what you believe is best for you and the baby
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  #4  
February 14th, 2008, 08:17 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 107
I'm 20, going to a great school, and found out I was pregnant last September. I made the worst decision that I thought was the best at that time...and had an abortion. I regret it everyday.
When Jax gives you the password you'll be able to read my story along with all the other ladies.. I hope they help and you find out the best situation for you!
Keep us updated.

==Edit==I'm not sure if you'll be able to read the private forum because you only have two posts..but if you're considering abortion, feel free to pm me.
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  #5  
February 16th, 2008, 12:52 AM
waitingforadi's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: LA
Posts: 94
I am 18 and I was also in college when I found out I was pregnant. I never considered abortion, but I did think about adoption briefly, mainly because the father also has another child he doesn't pay child support for and will not be in my baby's life at all, even though we were engaged and together for over a year. I have been very lucky that my mom has been extremely supportive of everything and without her this would be impossible, but I am planning to go back to school in September and it is one of my top priorities to get a degree so I will someday be able to support my own baby. That said, being a young mother does not mean you will end up on welfare or that you will be working fast food for the rest of your life. However, if you do not have very strong family support or support from your boyfriend it will probably be incredibly hard for you to have and raise the baby alone. I personally don't believe in abortion and think you should take the responsibility for your actions, even if that means giving the baby up for adoption. But whatever you do, it is completely your choice. Good Luck, and I really hope you will do whatever you think is best for you and for your baby.
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  #6  
February 18th, 2008, 11:07 AM
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 38
you should do what's best for you, I'm 20 years old with an unplanned preganancy, and the baby's daddy is gone..... he was there for about 7 months, then told me that I should give up my handsome son for adoption, but that if I wanted to raise him, I was doing it alone.... and I am.... I feel bad because my son hardly knows his dad and I'm just plain mad at my baby's daddy. but only do whats best for you.
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  #7  
February 19th, 2008, 05:40 PM
Regular
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 3
i decided to keep my baby. i would do adoption but i dont think i could give my child away. even though the father proably wont be around. my school has free child care and i can still live on campus. ill have to get a job, second job. ill be fine
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  #8  
February 23rd, 2008, 06:51 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,408
I'm glad you decided to keep your baby!

I just found out I'm 4 weeks pregnant w/ a guy who is 21 and already has a 1 1/2 year old daughter. I'm almost 26......and NEVER EVER thought this would happen to me. I knew 2 things, I could never kill an innocent child out of my selfishness and unwillingness to take responsibility for having careless sex with some guy I barely knew. And I also knew I could never carry a baby for 9 months, deliver and then give it away. There are consequences with every mistake in life- and growing up means taking those consequences and dealing with them, however hard they may be. It would have been VERY easy for me to not get pregnant..... its called BC and condoms.....I made a poor decision, but now- God has blessed with a child. And whatever happens with me and the baby's daddy, I will always love my child....... and all I can do it hope to be the best mother to him/her. Just think, had some of our mothers not stepped up and taken the responsibility to grow and care for a child- we wouldn't be on this earth today.
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  #9  
February 25th, 2008, 11:37 AM
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I am glad that you decided to keep your baby. Good luck to you!
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