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I was just lurking here, saw your post and decided to respond.
While for very different reasons, I once went through a termination (due to rape). It's not something I am proud of, it's not something I am happy about, and it's certainly something I don't like to discuss. However, I just want to stress to you that everyone has different opinions about termination, everyone has different beliefs about it, and everyone is entitled to those thoughts.
I highly doubt that you (or most anyone for that matter) woke up this morning wanting to be in the situation you're in, but in the end you need to do what is right for you and your family...not what is right for folks here on the board or anywhere else. No one here understands what it's like to walk in each other's shoes, and that includes yours.
So in short, I first want to tell you that I am very sorry that you are facing the decisions you are facing. I know the decision alone tears you up, and that on top of negativity is hard to deal with. However, please know that there is support for you, and boards here on this site that, while I have not visited them regularly, are filled with people that I know will be glad to support you no matter what.
I'm not looking to debate here or disrespect anyone. I have my own feelings on the matter and I know others do too, and I totally respect other's rights to feel the way they feel.
If you need to talk, have questions, or feel like calling someone you don't know bad words, PM me or e-mail me! Lorrix@gmail.com
I agree with Lorrix, Jax, and other posters who have said that this board is for SUPPORT not negativity! I do not think that Reagan is making a selfish decision at all! The selfish decision would be to keep the baby without considering how it would affect her other 4 children. Her first and foremost responsibility is the children she already has. It is not fair to the children she already has to make sacrifices beause their parents made a mistake. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Reagan, I want to give you Please don't be chased away by the negative women on here. I strongly recommend the private board.
Wow... just wow. Some of the responses you have received have been absolutely atrocious. For that I am sorry. Those are words you will probably hear over and over again in your head for the rest of your life, no matter what decision you make, by members who will probably never even re-read them... I hate that.
I am also pro-life, but it is your decision and something you will have to live with, not me. I think that you and your husband got yourself into this situation, and you and your husband should be the ones who chose where to go from here. I think there will be a lot of resent and possible regret if you handle this all on your own. Your husband may surprise you and be very supportive of the pregnancy, or he may be upset if you terminate without considering his feelings on the matter -- but the bottom line is this is something you should be going through together, not alone.
I am sorry if you felt turned away or turned off by the responses you have received, but I hope that you're at least reading this and have discussed your options with your husband. My mom was 38 when she had me and my dad was 42... DF's mom was 42 when she had his younger sister -- and we've turned out great. There is nothing wrong with having older parents, and your one year old will have a sibling close in age to relate to -- one of the greatest gifts of all! Financially, you WILL find a way if you are determined to make it work... God never gives you more than you can handle.
There is a private forum for abortions that you can gain access to if it's something you decide to go through with. I'd really recommend spending some one-on-one time with other women who have gone through with abortions. If you do go through with it I suggest you seek some counseling to help you with your loss.