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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
February 22nd, 2008, 11:59 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: USA
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Who knows if anyone will even read this- but I feel like I need to get some things off my chest.

I just found out yesterday that I am about 3.5 weeks pregnant and I can honestly say- right now, I'm not happy. This was a total shock and completely unplanned. I've only been with my boyfriend for 3 months & wasn't wanting a child with him. Nevertheless, I made a decision (a VERY poor one at that) and now I have to take responsibility. Im so confused right now..... I come from a very loving, good Christian home. Pregnancy before marriage was never an option to me.... now I have to face my family and that's going to be really hard. I'm scared, confused, hurt, I feel all alone and I also feel very guilty about not being happy. Children are not accidents.... ..but why me? I'm sure there are thousands of women out there better suited for motherhood than me.....

I'm still crossing my fingers that my period still might come.... ::ha ha ha:: but probably not.

Any advice?
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  #2  
February 22nd, 2008, 01:22 PM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 6,250
I don't have any real advice for you since I have not been pregnant myself. For what it's worth you seem to be an intelligent woman and you sound like someone who is capable of making good decisions for yourself and your child. Good luck to you, there are lots of other ladies here who have been where you are and I'm sure one of them will post here soon!
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  #3  
February 22nd, 2008, 01:24 PM
ShelliBelli's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My baby is 6 weeks old today and I was in your shoes months ago. I had been with my boyfriend 3 1/2 years and DID NOT want children with him or anyone else. I have always loved children but they just werent from me. Im 30 years old and was perfectly happy with just me. My boyfriend thankfully had told me he had a vesectomy so I was safe from ever being a mommy, I thought. I as well come from a very strong christian background. I thought I had the flu one week and had a dream that week that I was having a baby. The dream was so real I took a test the next week just to ease my mind and before I stopped peeing on it there was a plus. I thought I was going to die!!! I will never forget that day. I was devastated I could not believe that was happening to me. i told my boyfriend and he was just as devastated. We were together a few more months and broke up. Months after I still couldnt believe and still had not told anyone. I was almost 7 months pregnant before I told anyone else. Yes 7 months. I was so upset I still couldnt believe it. I wasnt happy through the whole 9 months. I knew I could never have an abortion or give him up for a doption but Iwould often pray that God would take it away. I did not want that for my self. To make a long story short My baby is 6 weeks old and it is the absolute best thing that has ever ever ever happened to me!!!!!!! Omg I can even describe to you how wonderful it is. I know you are disappointed, scared, and every other emotion you could possiably feel but I am here to tell you that it is no mistake. That baby has a purpose and is here for a reason. God know exactly what he is doing. I cant even believe how much it change me the instant I saw him. Two days before I had him I can remember crying to my mom that I should just give him away becuase I did not want a baby, now I sit and hold my baby and cry because I feel so guilty for ever feeling that way. My family have been so supportive and they love this baby just as much as I do. Even though Im 30 I was scared to death to tell them. I hated to disappoint them like that. I promise you everything will work out. You just have to trust God. If nothing else this whole situation made me faith stronger because if it wasnt for God i would have never made it. He showed me strength i never knewI had. You can email me anytime if you want someone to talk to. Theres probably not a feeling that you are feeling that I cant relate to. So feel free to email me anytime.

Shelli
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  #4  
February 22nd, 2008, 02:59 PM
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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I know you're scared, disappointed, probably a little angry and confused right now. I found out 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant. My "boyfriend" and I...we were more like friends with benefits...have been seeing each other for about 9 months and he absolutely does not want this baby. I have gone back and forth a million times trying to decide whether to keep the baby or not. I already have 2 children and have only been on my own for 10 months. In my heart I knew that this was meant to be, for me.

Anyway, I know how you feel. I'm sure once the shock has worn off your family will rally around you, and it's very important to have your girlfriends close right now too. It's a hard road, but everything happens for a reason. You need time to let it all sink in.

Hugs.

Heather
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  #5  
February 22nd, 2008, 05:18 PM
waitingforadi's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: LA
Posts: 94
I was very shocked when I first found out I was pregnant too. Its very hard to accept at first, but a baby is not the end of the world, no matter what the circumstances are. It may take some time but eventually you will come to accept it, like you said children are not accidents, and everything really does happen for a reason. Good Luck and I hope you will be happier about in the upcoming months.
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  #6  
February 22nd, 2008, 09:34 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,407
Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement!

I think each day that goes by will make this all easier- I still have to tell my mom & dad though, ::bleh::

I am only about 3.5 weeks pregnant--but I will make sure to keep you all posted!
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  #7  
February 23rd, 2008, 08:54 AM
Lisa325's Avatar Mom to 5 girls and 1 boy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,516
Lurker here,first off your not alone,you have a life inside you,isn't that amazing?You are about to experience things that will bond you to this other human for life and just wait till you look into your babys eyes,be ready to feel love you can't even imagine!Who the father is does not matter,your the momma and you are gonna fall so hard in love with this baby.I am trying to let you see the good instead of the negative,I understand the feelings that come now,but trust me,all that is to come will far outweigh anything bad you feel now!You might not think it now,but this is the best thing that will ever happen to you.
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  #8  
February 25th, 2008, 12:07 PM
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I will be nine weeks tommorrow, and was in almost the same exact situation as you, a little over a month ago. I am pregnant by my on/off boyfriend of a little more than 3 years. I am in nursing school and work a part-time job as an assistant manager. Needless to say, the circumstances are not the best that they could be with my "boyfriend." I come from a Christian home, and was terrified to tell my parents, but I let them know shortly after I found out. They were a lot more supportive than what I thought! I know that it will be hard for you to face your family, but just know that the sooner you let them know, the sooner you will have that burden off your chest. It feels a lot better after you get it out. I was very depressed at first, and still get that way at times, but I am a lot better than I used to be. I just have to continue to pray and realize that babies are blessing and God makes no mistakes when it comes to them. I know you are confused....I am too. But just know that God is on your side and to keep your faith. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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  #9  
February 25th, 2008, 12:28 PM
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I was exactly in your position about 2 months ago. I became pregnant while on the pill. The same pill I have been on for 10 years, without changing or taking antibiotics. It's really very difficult to understand the why and how. I believe as you do; no baby is an accident and that God has a plan for this child that I am carrying. I stuggle every day to accept this. I carry my pictures from my ultrasound as "proof" that I am pregnant (thankfully I have not been sick at all).
I worried too about facing my family, who has very strong religious and moral beliefs. But, the minute I found out that I was pregnant, I knew that I would be having this child, with or without the support of the father (doesn't look like I am going to have it)
One thing that has become apparent to me over the last few weeks is that those who are truly Christian in their beliefs will be there to support you and help you through the rough times. They should not judge you. Telling my parents was the hardest thing that I ever had to do, but they have been incredible and are even excited about this baby. I wish that I were as happy and looking forward to this as they are. I'm not yet, but hope to be soon.

I was exactly in your position about 2 months ago. I became pregnant while on the pill. The same pill I have been on for 10 years, without changing or taking antibiotics. It's really very difficult to understand the why and how. I believe as you do; no baby is an accident and that God has a plan for this child that I am carrying. I stuggle every day to accept this. I carry my pictures from my ultrasound as "proof" that I am pregnant (thankfully I have not been sick at all).
I worried too about facing my family, who has very strong religious and moral beliefs. But, the minute I found out that I was pregnant, I knew that I would be having this child, with or without the support of the father (doesn't look like I am going to have it)
One thing that has become apparent to me over the last few weeks is that those who are truly Christian in their beliefs will be there to support you and help you through the rough times. They should not judge you. Telling my parents was the hardest thing that I ever had to do, but they have been incredible and are even excited about this baby. I wish that I were as happy and looking forward to this as they are. I'm not yet, but hope to be soon.
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  #10  
February 25th, 2008, 03:45 PM
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Jax Jax is offline
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well.. I was technically married when I got pregnant, but still had to face my parents.. as they'd ALWAYS told me not to have children until I was older (I was 19 when married, 20 when pregnant, and 21 when Libby was born).

It's not easy.. and they might not be pleased at first (Mine certainly weren't) but eventually they will not only support you, but they will be really excited. I promise.

And I was SOOO unhappy to be pregnant.. but give yourself time! Don't feel guilty or wrong.. you're entitled to whatever emotions your little heart can produce. No one has any say in it but you.

I'm sure you'll be excited about this all soon, too. Especially after your parents are over the shock.. because you won't really be comfortable with the situation until then (understandably)
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