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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
March 14th, 2008, 07:15 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 65
I am pregnant and it wasn't unplanned but I felt I should post here. Ok I am in my later 20's. And not to sound lame but I have only "given myself to two guys" and both times it has turned into a beautiful miracle of a new life minus the men.

I was married at 19 and my (not ex husband) husband and I had problems from the start he was very controlling and mentally abusive. We ended up divorcing but for some idiotic reason we kept seeing each other off and on. I dated other guy but never got anywhere with them as I still loved my ex. Well one day I became pregnant. From the start my ex pretty much wanted no part of it. He made it clear. I would call and update him and he didn't give a ######. I had complications and they thought the baby was going to be born very early and he never cared. This is what I did. I had my DD. I Called him after I got out of the hospital and he didn't care. I didn't have to put his name on the Birth Certificate and so I didn't.

People think I am dumb for not going for child support but he is the type guy who would then want visitation just to spite me. I don't bother him and he doesn't bother me. The good news is that my daughter is a perfectly health, happy little girl with lots of people who love her and she seems fine without a daddy at this point.

Ok so I had this old school friend and him and I were getting along so well and he got along well with my DD so he asked me to marry him. I did. He said he wanted to have kids and we decided it was a good time to start trying. I found out in Dec that I was pregnant. Out of nowhere he decides he doesn't want a baby afterall! He moved out and in with his parents. (He's 27!) and also broke and always getting fired from jobs.

So I am married to him and he doesn't have the money for a divorce. I am hoping I don't have to put his name on the BC but I think since we are married I will have to if we aren't divorced by then. This time I feel in a real jam as he is as much if not more of a loser than my frist ex. BUT I know even though he will never pay anything or be that involved he won't cut off all ties.

THe dumb thing is in my state I couldn't get my DD's dad's rights terminated. There is some stupid rule about that can only happen if a guy is going to do a step parent adoption. I mean why should his rights still be in tact when he has never even seen her?

I don't know what is going to happen with husband 2 but I know I will never look at another man romantically again.
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  #2  
March 14th, 2008, 08:48 PM
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ugh. what jerks! maybe dh2 will grow up....

welcome!!!

stick around and keep us updated!
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  #3  
March 14th, 2008, 10:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Welcome to the board! I'm glad you found us. Geez, reading your story sounds just like mine except I've been with 3 men in 17 years and now have a baby with each one. This last one is still "cooking" and was very, very unplanned but boy, do I know how you feel.

I have no advice but would like to tell you that you're a very stong woman. Your children are very lucky to have you. I hope I can be as strong with my new baby and her/his FOB as you were with your first husband.

Feel free to come chat or vent anytime.

Heather
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  #4  
March 15th, 2008, 02:02 PM
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Location: South Carolina
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Good luck. We're all here for you. Keep us posted and CONGRATS!!!
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  #5  
March 17th, 2008, 09:47 AM
Nikki.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 14,660
Congrats on your pregnancy.

*** is wrong with your dh? I hope he grows up!
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