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Have you dealt with any judgement for having kids close together? We haven't announced this pregnancy yet but we found out the day before my daughter's first birthday that we are expecting baby #2. We are excited considering how long it took us to get pregnant with our DD.
I do have a few judgemental people around though and thought I'd see if there were any tips in dealing with them?
If you're happy, that should be enough for them to accept you-it sometimes helps to throw a story out there about how some of us have kids 10months apart, that usually distracts them
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“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napoleon Hill
“I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway...let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.”
“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.”
We are expecting baby #4, which will make 4 kids under age 5. I get comments from strangers as well as friends/family. At the store or running errands, I hear "You sure are busy" or "You sure have your hands full". I want to say "Yeah, no $h*t. Thanks for noticing." But I just smile politely and keep walking. When we announce a pregnancy, friends and family will say "Again?! OMG, you guys are nuts" or "You're crazy", and even "Geez, you're a baby machine". Nice, right? My standard response is always "Yeah, well we love having them all close in age. I wouldn't trade it." Just show people how happy you are, and don't let their rudeness or ignorance get to you.
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"Moms, even good ones, sometimes lose it a little so as not to lose it all.”
This will be our 4th kid in 5 years.. when i had the girls (12months apart) i did get alot of how sad it was that rhianna didn't get much attention or time at all before Lacey came along etc i was pretty judged by their age gap
Mine are 14.5 months apart and I just try to remind everyone how happy I am to have two kids close in age. I do get a lot of comments, the usual, "you sure have your hands full" and I always respond with "I have great kids so I love it" or something similar. Just showing people you are happy and not overwhelmed, even when you are having a rough day, or both kids are being ridiculous at the grocery store, just smile. Works best and shuts people up!
DON'T listen to them! The judgmental people are NOT the people you want to be around anyway! You want to cast those people out or ignore them. They are generally the types who will not help you or encourage you when you need it. Most importantly, they will not be raising your children, so who cares about them.
When I got pregnant with DS, DD was only 6 months old. It took me a long time to get pregnant with her, so when she was 6 months we thought we would TTC. Then WHAM, I was pregnant right away!
Someone I go to church with (yeah, church) said, "oh it was a surprise, wasn't it!" I was like, no..... He was very much planned and wanted.
Last time I saw her she said, "So you're done now, right?" I said that I wasn't sure and we would see how things go...
I agree, don't listen to the negative people! My girls are 18 months apart and I constantly have people saying things like "wow you have your hands full" but I also get a lot of "you girls are so cute!". I try to let any criticism go in one ear and out the other and focus on all the positives. When I see my girls laughing together, I am reminded of how happy I am they have each other!
When I got pregnant with my younger girl, everyone was like you just pop one out lol I dont care what they say im happy with my two girls, 3 pregancies close together, have to add my Angel baby.
My girls are 19 months apart and I have yet to get any rude comments about how close they are in age. Mostly I get all of the how cute they are and asked how old they are.
Don't worry about what they say. My oldest is 2.5 andi have 15 month old twins. I get all the replies wow you have your hands full. Yes we do but you know what it's a lot of fun. And chaos. We are working on number 4 now.