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Abortion Debate

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  #1  
April 16th, 2008, 10:11 PM
short_n_swt's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I know this Indian girl (Punjab), and a muslim girl, who both tell me it's normal in their culture to abort a pregnancy if it's a girl. It's important in their cultures to have a boy in the family. They will continue to abort until they get a boy.

How do you view this?

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  #2  
April 16th, 2008, 10:22 PM
rose198172's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wrong, IMO. I have no problems with people TTC until they get a boy or girl or whatever (as long as they can afford it), but to have an abortion every time you don't get what you want seems selfish to me, cultural or not. Besides, ultrasounds are not 100% accurate. What happens if you abort your boy because the doctor or tech just didn't see the penis?

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  #3  
April 25th, 2008, 08:37 PM
Little Mrs Sunshine
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inexcuseable
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  #4  
April 26th, 2008, 09:04 PM
irishxrose
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Disgusting.
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  #5  
April 27th, 2008, 01:08 PM
::er!ca::'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That is wrong on so many different levels.
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  #6  
April 27th, 2008, 03:39 PM
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So very sad
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  #7  
April 28th, 2008, 04:30 PM
Gina1978's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Its wrong on SO many levels,but whats more disturbing is that most people dont find out the sex until 20 weeks,so these women are having late abortions?? I cant see India having some super technology that helps them find out the sex earlier than that..so the fact that they are killing 20week + babys just because they arent boys is disgusting!
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  #8  
April 28th, 2008, 08:19 PM
eash's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am familiar with both of these cultures and this is not the norm. However for the sake of argument, lets say it is. I think if you consider this situation with compassion, it might be a different story. Because of social norms and a very patriarchal society, these women are forced to receive an abortion to keep their husbands and families. Think about the pain that these women go through having to make this choice because of such strong social norms, not because they love their child any less. I wouldn't blame the women in these cases.
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  #9  
April 30th, 2008, 08:45 PM
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I think it's really unfair to judge another culture by the rules of your own culture.
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  #10  
May 6th, 2008, 05:58 AM
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this is wrong... a baby is a life no matter the sex. how would they have felt if THEY had been aborted because "culture" dictated it? a little hypocritcal if u ask me...
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  #11  
May 6th, 2008, 06:26 AM
short_n_swt's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
I am familiar with both of these cultures and this is not the norm. However for the sake of argument, lets say it is. I think if you consider this situation with compassion, it might be a different story. Because of social norms and a very patriarchal society, these women are forced to receive an abortion to keep their husbands and families. Think about the pain that these women go through having to make this choice because of such strong social norms, not because they love their child any less. I wouldn't blame the women in these cases.[/b]
Abort Girls
Sex-selective abortions is the norm (in cultures where men are dominant)
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  #12  
May 6th, 2008, 08:37 PM
chlodoll
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I view it as people do what they feel they need to do for their family. Is sad? Sure. Do I fault a women for succumbing to the pressure? No.

I don't think this it has to do with religion, it has more to do with poverty and like eashley said a very patriarchal society in parts of some places like India.

Apparently one of the main reasons for sex selective abortions or infanticide is due to the use of dowrys in India. If a family is living in poverty they will not be able to afford to have their daughter married.

If this is true, one reason I would think that sex selective abortions would not be as prevalent in Islam is because the man pays the womans family to marry their daughters, not like in India where they pay for their daughter to be married.
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  #13  
May 6th, 2008, 09:15 PM
short_n_swt's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Did you read the article?

Quote:
Sabu George says that a preference for boys, who carry on the family bloodline and inherit wealth, has always existed in Indian society.[/b]
They don't primarily abort females because of money, they do it because they believe females are inferrier to males and that males are the dominant sex.
It has nothing to do with affording their daughter's wedding, they abort female fetus' because they want....a male!! (I know I know that was hard, right?)

Quote:
Fewer females are born in the richer parts of the country.[/b]
-has nothing to do with money, it has to do with power.
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  #14  
May 6th, 2008, 11:48 PM
chlodoll
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I did read the article and I read a few others. I could see why in wealthy areas it would be more popular because they would have more access to the technologies needed. That could mean though in poorer parts that infanticide would be more prevalent unfortunately.

But it could still relate. If they have a male they keep the wealth in their family and they attain more when he is married.

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  #15  
May 7th, 2008, 06:51 AM
Just Nana's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Might be a stupid question but some baby girls must not be aborted because they will still need women to birth later down the road how do they decide how many girl babies will be allowed to live ?

I think the whole thing is very sad and wrong
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  #16  
May 9th, 2008, 03:56 PM
Mom2DavidandAaron's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Considering I don't feel abortion is an appropiate birht control methid, it's even less appropiate to use it as a gender chooser method.
However, I know that in certain cultures a woman is blamed for the baby's gender. Just shows the ignorance of those cultures, because it's well known that it's the men who determine the sex of the baby and even they don't do it on purpose...
Anyway, these woman have a lot of pressure of having a boy. It also happens in China, where baby girls are sometimes discarded like garbage because of the one child per family law. So, in certain cultures when a woman gives birth to a baby girl, she's alienated, and she experiences rejection from her family, her husband and her in-laws. So I cannot blame them for thinking they have no other way out, and relly not all people are strong enough to deal with those situations. I still think it's wrong, though.
However... I'm a little surprised that this comes fro mcultures with enough medical care that they know the sex of the baby. You'd think that a society that has access to these technologies will be well aware that the sex of the baby is determined by the man's sperm.

Sharon

Quote:
They don't primarily abort females because of money, they do it because they believe females are inferrier to males and that males are the dominant sex.
It has nothing to do with affording their daughter's wedding, they abort female fetus' because they want....a male!! (I know I know that was hard, right?)[/b]
And that's so sad. I have two boys and I would love to have a girl. And to think innocent little girls are beign aborted or killed after birth because of the prejudice that men are better.

Sharon
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  #17  
May 10th, 2008, 03:08 PM
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Quote:
Might be a stupid question but some baby girls must not be aborted because they will still need women to birth later down the road how do they decide how many girl babies will be allowed to live ?[/b]
China is already having problems with this. In fact there have been cases of women being kidnapped from cities and forcibly "married" to men in rural communities where women are scare.

The whole thing makes me angry and sad. Sad that this is happening and angry that societies still put this sort of pressure on women and view them as inferior. I wonder how many want the daughter and only abort because of this pressure? I can't imagine how heartbreaking it would be to abort a child you want because you'll be disowned by your family otherwise.

Quote:
However... I'm a little surprised that this comes fro mcultures with enough medical care that they know the sex of the baby. You'd think that a society that has access to these technologies will be well aware that the sex of the baby is determined by the man's sperm.[/b]
Knowing the biology doesn't necessarily change their view of someone who goes against it and births a child of the "inferior gender." Also I've heard of a hypothesis that states the woman is responsible for the gender. Supposedly the egg is only receptive to one type of sperm at a time. So an egg receptive to x sperm won't be permeable to y sperms. (I've seen it used in birth prediction charts.) Doesn't sound correct to me but some people believe it.
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  #18  
June 11th, 2008, 02:01 PM
Mud235's Avatar Super Mom Extrodinaire
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Quote:
I think it's really unfair to judge another culture by the rules of your own culture.[/b]
I completely agree!
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  #19  
June 14th, 2008, 02:44 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
I think it's really unfair to judge another culture by the rules of your own culture.[/b]
I completely agree!
[/b][/quote]
I am going to start another thread on judging other cultures in the main board. I don't want to derail the entire thread...

That thread is here... http://www.justmommies.com/boards/index.ph...owtopic=1142483 if you want to debate there too.....
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
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  #20  
June 14th, 2008, 03:01 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I am familiar with both of these cultures and this is not the norm. However for the sake of argument, lets say it is. I think if you consider this situation with compassion, it might be a different story. Because of social norms and a very patriarchal society, these women are forced to receive an abortion to keep their husbands and families. Think about the pain that these women go through having to make this choice because of such strong social norms, not because they love their child any less. I wouldn't blame the women in these cases.[/b]
I didn't see ANYONE blame the women, what they said was....

Quote:
Wrong, IMO.[/b]
.

Quote:
inexcuseable[/b]
.

Quote:
Disgusting.[/b]
.


Quote:
That is wrong on so many different levels.[/b]
.

Quote:
Its wrong on SO many levels,but whats more disturbing is that most people dont find out the sex until 20 weeks,so these women are having late abortions?? I cant see India having some super technology that helps them find out the sex earlier than that..so the fact that they are killing 20week + babys just because they arent boys is disgusting![/b]

And that was all of the responses before you posted....(basically) so I don't see anywhere that anyone was blaming the women. I don't blame the women, but I still find it disturbing, disgusting & inexcusable. It absolutely offends me as a woman too that so much misogyny still exists so proudly in so many cultures.
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B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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