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When your stance on Abortion is judged


Abortion Debate

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  #21  
March 11th, 2009, 10:40 AM
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I've had the discussion with some of my girlfriends and my mother (I'm severely pro-choice). My mom didn't really get my side - she's in the "life begins at conception" camp, but when I try to talk to her about the biology side of it, it makes no impact on her. She's an emotional debater. I know a girlfriend of mine had an abortion, and I supported her decision.

I honestly don't talk about abortion unless someone brings it up to me (e.g. I'm going to have an abortion, what do you think? or Look at all those people killing babies at Planned Parenthood) first. Now religion/atheism, on the other hand...lol
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  #22  
March 11th, 2009, 10:51 AM
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I don't get judged by those who know. Most of the people close to me feel the same way. I am pro-choice, but I think abortion is often "misused" and "overused." I know we can't start making the decision about what is the "correct" reason to abort, but I know two people (in my circle of friends) who have had more than one abortion because they got pregnant unintentionally (basically using abortion as BC). I do not agree with that and most of my friends (them excluded) feel the same way.
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  #23  
August 1st, 2009, 09:25 PM
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i'm fiercely pro-life/anti-abortion and totally have been judged because if it. im from ny, a very liberal state and i went to an extremely liberal high school and whenever it was brought up id either be the only pro-life or one of very few and people would definitely look at you differently after you said you were pro-life/anti-abortion
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  #24  
August 1st, 2009, 10:44 PM
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I see more people actually "judge" when they are pro life, and think abortion is wrong in any situation.

For example, person A is pro choice, their friend has a kid, they are fine. Their friend has an abortion, they are fine as well. Pro choice, pro letting people live their lives as they want. To me, that's not judging anyone.

But person B is pro life and takes on the stance that all abortion is wrong no matter what. Person B is more apt to judge someone for having an abortion than anyone else. They will argue with someone why it is wrong and why that person is wrong. They judge the other person and come down on them more than someone who is pro choice and talking to their friend about abortion.

I can debate with someone any day of the week about why I stand for the freedom of choice, however, I will never tell someone they are wrong for what they stand for. But I will tell someone they are wrong to persecute me for what my choice is. I will never tell someone it is wrong to be pro life, so don't tell me im wrong to be pro choice and all will be kosher
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  #25  
August 3rd, 2009, 07:07 AM
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I see no problem with judging people based on their actions. If abortion is really murder in all cases then it should be judged, right? The real issue is in determining the morality of specific actions and condemning those actions which are immoral. At the same time, we should condemn those that condemn actions which are not immoral.
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  #26  
August 13th, 2009, 07:39 AM
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I'm pro-choice in a pro-life community. It comes up a lot but normally we keep it civil. Until today when I got between protesters and clinic patients at the abortion clinic across the street. It resulted in a 15 minute yelling match that had me nearly running the protesters down with my car.
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  #27  
August 13th, 2009, 07:04 PM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Froggy View Post
I see more people actually "judge" when they are pro life, and think abortion is wrong in any situation.

For example, person A is pro choice, their friend has a kid, they are fine. Their friend has an abortion, they are fine as well. Pro choice, pro letting people live their lives as they want. To me, that's not judging anyone.

But person B is pro life and takes on the stance that all abortion is wrong no matter what. Person B is more apt to judge someone for having an abortion than anyone else. They will argue with someone why it is wrong and why that person is wrong. They judge the other person and come down on them more than someone who is pro choice and talking to their friend about abortion.

I can debate with someone any day of the week about why I stand for the freedom of choice, however, I will never tell someone they are wrong for what they stand for. But I will tell someone they are wrong to persecute me for what my choice is. I will never tell someone it is wrong to be pro life, so don't tell me im wrong to be pro choice and all will be kosher
I don't think that really makes any sense. The pro-choice person believes that choosing abortion is acceptable and that choosing to carry the child to birth is acceptable - what is there to judge? The pro-life person believes that it is morally wrong to have an abortion and have therefore judged abortion to be a bad thing.

Let's say a person believes it is okay to lie. She would not judge the person who lies nor would she judge the person who chooses not to lie because she isn't saying lying is the only option but that lying is a perfectly acceptable option. Let's say another person believes that it is morally wrong to lie - well then, she is making a judgment and has decided that lying is wrong and bad and that telling the truth is the only moral option.

Am I missing your point or are you saying that I shouldn't make a judgment and say it is wrong to lie because the person who believes lying is a morally acceptable option wouldn't judge me for telling the truth?
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  #28  
August 14th, 2009, 10:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AMDG View Post
I don't think that really makes any sense. The pro-choice person believes that choosing abortion is acceptable and that choosing to carry the child to birth is acceptable - what is there to judge? The pro-life person believes that it is morally wrong to have an abortion and have therefore judged abortion to be a bad thing.
I guess I mean it like this.... the judgmental ones are pro-life because if the person who is pro life comes across a friend who is in a bad situation, or even a good situation but still doesn't want the kid, the pro life person would say they are wrong, say their belief is wrong, call them a murderer, and act cold and harsh to them because of their personal beliefs. Put in the same situation, the pro choice person may internally think that their friends reasons are wrong, however, they believe in the right to choose no matter what the reasons are. Pro choice don't typically say "Well I dont believe with your reasons, but believe it is okay to have an abortion." They just support regardless of what the reasons for the abortion may be because they believe in the right to choose.

You can still be pro choice and think that there are some "wrong" or "inacceptable" reasons for abortion, but it comes down to the fact that it isn't your reason, and it is not your body to make a decision about, therefore any choice a person makes, any belief or reason they have, is okay because of the right to choose. Does that make more sense? Pro life is only black and white, where you are right or wrong, and every abortion is wrong, even if it isn't your life, it isn't your body, it isn't your situation, but that person across the room is wrong no matter what because she had an abortion.


I guess I will bring it up like this, which is how I explained to my friend who was extremely pro life and judged me..... because I have had an abortion. I had one last November, and it was the HARDEST decision I've ever had to make. I had pro choice friends support me, but had pro choice friends wonder why I was having one when I had a child of my own already. My reasons weren't right to them, but they understood that I had a right to choose and believed I had the right to choose. I'm pro choice but still have internal beliefs where I think abortion is "wrong" but still believe in the right to choose. When I walked up to Planned Parenthood I only had pro life people yelling at me about being wrong, only had pro life people telling me to "Come to God" and come talk to them, there was even KIDS there, yelling at me about what a bad choice I was making. They didn't know my reasons. There were no pro choice people yelling at people as they walked in, deeming their reasons as wrong. They let people be. I explained to my friend that it was a horrible feeling to know why it was right for me, to get out of the car and have a child tell me that "your child loves you, please don't kill your child, please come to God and talk to us and let your child live." I knew in my heart it was right. I can not look at the person next to me in the waiting room and judge her reason as right or wrong, because I am not in her shoes. She will never be in my shoes. But those pro lifers put themselves into our shoes and judged no matter what, because it was black and white to them, and we were wrong, they were right. I will not say what I believe to be wrong when it comes to abortion out of respect to those who have had abortions and were in those positions, which is the way it should be. Leave your internal convictions inside, because if my abortion doesnt directly effect you, there is no reason that you should be the one to stand outside my door at the clinic judging me, the person next to me, or the girls that will come next week.

I say let internal convictions be, tell your opinions when it is in a constructive manner, but don't **** people for their actions when it comes to abortion. I really wish abortion was an act where if you've had one, you have. If you haven't, you haven't, and if you don't believe in it, you don't. But just let it be and let the person next to you be because their abortion will almost always never effect you.
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  #29  
August 14th, 2009, 12:29 PM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Froggy View Post

I say let internal convictions be, tell your opinions when it is in a constructive manner, but don't **** people for their actions when it comes to abortion. I really wish abortion was an act where if you've had one, you have. If you haven't, you haven't, and if you don't believe in it, you don't. But just let it be and let the person next to you be because their abortion will almost always never effect you.
What you describe is moral relativism - something i don't believe in. Let's take adultery as a separate and unrelated example. Like abortion, I believe that adultery is wrong. If my friend was committing adultery I wouldn't blow smoke up her *%$ and "support" her in the name of friendship because I don't think that is how true friends act. I would still love her and be her friend but I would tell her that I don't support her actions. Under the idea of moral relativism I couldn't tell her that her actions were wrong because what is wrong for me might not be wrong for her. Can you think of anything that you believe to be wrong - that you would actually tell a friend - "hey, I don't agree with your decision, I think it would be wrong of you to do _________"?? that is how abortion is for many people.
But we are getting off topic because wasn't the topic about whether you were judged for your stance on abortion, not whether a person was judged for having an abortion?
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  #30  
August 24th, 2009, 10:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AMDG View Post
I don't think that really makes any sense. The pro-choice person believes that choosing abortion is acceptable and that choosing to carry the child to birth is acceptable - what is there to judge? The pro-life person believes that it is morally wrong to have an abortion and have therefore judged abortion to be a bad thing.
I think it is immoral to limit abortions in some cases.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AMDG View Post
Let's say a person believes it is okay to lie. She would not judge the person who lies nor would she judge the person who chooses not to lie because she isn't saying lying is the only option but that lying is a perfectly acceptable option. Let's say another person believes that it is morally wrong to lie - well then, she is making a judgment and has decided that lying is wrong and bad and that telling the truth is the only moral option.
You are judging in either case. You judge someone that lies as being bad and someone that does not lie as being good.

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Originally Posted by AMDG View Post
Am I missing your point or are you saying that I shouldn't make a judgment and say it is wrong to lie because the person who believes lying is a morally acceptable option wouldn't judge me for telling the truth?
I see no problem with making judgments, but on a debate board someone should be expected to defend those judgments and moral claims. Using the lying example, is it always immoral to tell a lie? Can you lie to a Nazi about the Jews you are hiding, without being immoral?
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  #31  
August 24th, 2009, 10:24 AM
smt smt is offline
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Originally Posted by AMDG View Post
What you describe is moral relativism - something i don't believe in.
All morals are relative to something. At a minimum, morality is a human construct and is relative to humans. If you believe god hands down moral rules then those moral rules are relative to god's arbitrary desires.

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Originally Posted by AMDG View Post
Let's take adultery as a separate and unrelated example. Like abortion, I believe that adultery is wrong. If my friend was committing adultery I wouldn't blow smoke up her *%$ and "support" her in the name of friendship because I don't think that is how true friends act. I would still love her and be her friend but I would tell her that I don't support her actions. Under the idea of moral relativism I couldn't tell her that her actions were wrong because what is wrong for me might not be wrong for her.
Of course you could still tell her she is wrong. If she made marriage vows committing to a monogomous relationship then you can point out that she broke her own vow. She can hardly deny that she made the vow. On the other hand, if there were vows that specifically said you could have sex with others then you would have a hard time applying a moral standard that does not necessarily apply.

On a side note, if a friend knowingly broke a vow and didn't care, why would you want to be friends with that sort of person? Why would you choose to love a person that does not love virtue?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AMDG View Post
Can you think of anything that you believe to be wrong - that you would actually tell a friend - "hey, I don't agree with your decision, I think it would be wrong of you to do _________"?? that is how abortion is for many people.
It is one thing to disagree with someone. It is another to back up that claim with a rational argument. It may be the one that is judging that is in the wrong.
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  #32  
October 18th, 2009, 10:02 AM
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I've been judged some...but more than that I've been questioned on it so many times, and been ridiculed. I found out I was pregnant when I was 17 and when friends/co-workers found out they all asked me why I was putting myself through it and keeping the baby. When I explained to them that I was pro-life and would never consider an abortion, some people thought i was being stupid and living in a "lala land" where I thought I had no choice but to keep my baby. I wanted my baby. I loved him from the minute I found out he was growing inside me. I could never terminate a pregnancy and believe that life begins at conception. My family mostly shares the same beliefs, so it's more some friends don't understand and therefore have judged me for it.
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  #33  
April 16th, 2010, 01:41 AM
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I get judged with my stance on abortion a lot online. In real life the topic never really comes up. I am acquainted with some very pro-life people though and if they knew that I had had one myself they more than likely would stop talking to me completely and spread nasty rumors about a situation they know nothing about. I've grown tired of defending myself and my views as well and basically just let the insults fall on deaf ears.
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