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When your stance on Abortion is judged


Abortion Debate

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  #1  
May 6th, 2008, 01:02 AM
SammyNowell
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Have any of you been clearly judged on where you stand with abortion? Do you find yourself defending your opinion to friends? Family? Do you feel as if your personal choice affects you in everyday life because people know where you stand and don't support it?




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  #2  
May 6th, 2008, 04:39 AM
short_n_swt's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Uh I clearly stand on the 'I'm against it' side. And yes I get all kinds of comments about it. My husband's boss tells me all the time that we are making a mistake by having another baby and that we should have had an abortion. I don't push my views on anyone and generally keep to myself about it, but I don't understand how someone could justify themselves by telling YOU, you should have had an abortion. For people who believe in abortions it's usually because they believe people are entitled to choice, so why can't I make my choice in having my child?
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  #3  
May 7th, 2008, 03:20 PM
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Quote:
Uh I clearly stand on the 'I'm against it' side. And yes I get all kinds of comments about it. My husband's boss tells me all the time that we are making a mistake by having another baby and that we should have had an abortion. I don't push my views on anyone and generally keep to myself about it, but I don't understand how someone could justify themselves by telling YOU, you should have had an abortion. For people who believe in abortions it's usually because they believe people are entitled to choice, so why can't I make my choice in having my child?[/b]

WHAT? Your husbands boss is telling you to abort your pregnancy? Doesn't that cross some ethical workplace boundaries...for a co-worker...a boss even...to be commenting on his employee's wife's sexuality and reproductive choices? That to me is borderline sexual harassment. Your uterus is your own and other peoples input into your reproductive choices is not OK for me (a pro-choicer). I fully support your choice to have your child . What a (not very mature language but totally called for) Douchbag!!!!! I wonder what he thinks HE has to gain from YOU and your husband not having another child? Why is his input necessary? I wonder if he thinks your husbands upcoming new parenthood will in some way affect his job or put him (the boss) at a disadvantage (ie..having to take time off when the baby comes or if there are medical complications exc). This man is NOT a pro-choicer and doesn't represent the movement....he is just a sleeze sticking his nose into other peoples buissness for god knows what reasons. I am pro-choice but I am firmly against and equally disgusted by FORCED (by use of coercion or any other means) abortions. I find the epidemic in China of forced abortions to be awful, sad, and sickening. Choice means choice regardless of WHAT a woman chooses in the end...even if she chooses to gestate and parent her baby while being totally opposed to my ideals . Force or coercion in pregnancy only hurts women...even women wishing to gestate and parent. When we have an epidemic of women hiding pregnancy's and then selling children to avoid abortion and legal ramification from their government...and another epidemic of women going to back alley abortion "providers" and dying from internal bleeding, poison, or infection to avoid parenthood and legal ramification from THEIR government...there is a SERIOUS problem that shouldn't be (but often is in favor of "politics" and "political correctness") ignored. Taking away choice in both situations hurts women.

Now to answer the OP. I am pro-choice. My very best friend is pro-life (though not politically...she is of the "i personally think its wrong" camp) and we are still very good friends. We have gotten into DEBATES!!! from time to time (I think a total of 2 in the 6 years we have known each other) but it has never hindered our relationship. She was a young teen mom and that I am sure influenced her views of pregnancy and abortion. She would never abort...but would never stop others from aborting. I am sure if I ever aborted it wouldn't ruin our relationship. My family and friends never bring up the subject. My aunts can be pretty conservative. My one aunt...who was a single mom and a HORRIBLE mom...making my cousin suffer and develop anxiety disorders due to the trauma of childhood neglect...and refusing to allow her to see, have contact with, or even know her fathers "real" name (claims she doesn't know...only knows his nickname sam) wouldn't "allow" abortion. I remember a conversation a few years ago where I said I would most likely abort a downs baby or a baby with a disability I couldn't care for....and she told me 'You WILL NOT abort that (non existent) baby...you WILL give it to ME. Yeah ok lady...like I would EVER trust YOU with a baby. You couldn't even properly care for the one who didn't have a disability and still grew up to be emotionally handicapped by your bad parenting. She may have bi-polar but won't get seen...she has shown similar swings and hysterics as is described in bi-polar disorder...and compulsive lying.

Abortion is rarley a topic of discussion with my family or friends for that matter. I was supportive of a friend who recently aborted...and she knows where I stand....but to me the energy is WASTED in personal debates. What does it accomplish except hurt feelings? Politics and education is where I choose to express my views...and I do enjoy a good debate on a public forum as I feel it helps provide education to those people who are lurking and on the fence about the issue...regardless if they turn pro-choice or pro-life in the end...hey even people against your stance deserve to be properly educated on the basics of what they are opposing.

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  #4  
May 11th, 2008, 10:17 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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my family and I didn't see eye to eye on abortion. To this day we still don't. It's never sparked a debate, and no one's allowed to talk about it anymore with me... because I've had one.

I'm prochoice. You don't want one, don't have one. you want one, go ahead, but research it first and make sure it's what you want.

I could never have another abortion. I could get pregnant with a 1night stand (which I don't have) and I will NOT have an abortion again. Medical reasons gave me my first pair of angels, I will not allow it to happen again.
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  #5  
May 12th, 2008, 06:01 AM
Karlie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It doesn't effect me on a daily basis because it's not something that exactly comes up around the dinner table and I think that most of my friends share the same views as me on it anyway. (Pro-choice - within reason, it's not birth control). But my partner is very definitely and absolutely pro-life and the differing views has definitely impacted on our life in a negative way. He has made numerous judgemental and hurtful comments in relation to this in the past especially in relation to the fact that I have had one previously.

HOWEVER, I sympathise with the above person to mentioned her boss's comments in relation to suggesting she terminate her pregnancy. I'm VERY close to my superviser at work (kind of a surragate mother) and when I advised her of this pregnancy she suggested I terminate. She could obviously see by my horrified reaction not to go there, and hasn't bought it up since but my point is that just because I'm happy for women to make choices about their bodies, doesn't give people the right to suggest such things, especially under what is supposed to be a happy circumstance.

Some people just don't think, huh?
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  #6  
May 24th, 2008, 05:00 PM
irishxrose
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I don't really have this issue. I only have one friend that is pro-life (extremist pro-fetus is more likely... I'm talking "you're a murderer and you should rot in hell for murdering your baby! They should give you the death penalty!" type thing) and she knows better than to start a debate with me about this issue. I do have a few friends that are pro-life personally, pro-choice legally; but I don't have any issues with them about it, because I completely understand that.

My family is all pro-choice.
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  #7  
May 27th, 2008, 09:03 PM
Melanie.'s Avatar Totalimmortal
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I'm completely pro-life. Jesse has the typical male stance, I won't tell women what to do with their bodies.

But my whole family is pro-life and Jesse's is all pro-choice. My family is mostly Republican and Jesse's dad's side is Democratic. I'm pretty sure his mom and step-dad are Republican, too. I've fought with Jesse over it. He wanted me to consider it when I got pregnant. I told him that I was having Audrey whether he liked it or not and he could rot in Hell.

But he's all about that little girl now, though.
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  #8  
June 10th, 2008, 10:56 AM
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I'm pro-life, my family is pro life...I never really asked my friends about it but most were also pro life. It usually comes up only online.

I never loved Junior so much til the day I heard him say "I love you Kendra but if you EVER get an abortion I'm leaving you."
I knew he woud be there for me and the baby
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  #9  
June 12th, 2008, 01:05 PM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
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Never, I stand firm on my Pro-Life beliefs and no one dares to question me on it.
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  #10  
June 19th, 2008, 09:46 AM
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I live in the south and in college I was in the feminist student alliance and lobbied for women's rights and went to pro-life counter protests to protect a woman's choice to reproductive freedom, and I was faced with a lot of opposing opinions from my peers- but most of them had never been pregnant or in a situation that required making a choice- so they have absolutely no idea what they're talking about when they said they're pro-life because they have no experience or even RIGHT IMO to make a judgment about it. It's like deciding who you want to vote for and not knowing anything about the candidate.
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  #11  
July 25th, 2008, 07:30 PM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
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I also wanted to add that I have never given them a reason to question my beliefs. I don't say one thing and do another.
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  #12  
July 25th, 2008, 07:34 PM
chlodoll
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I don't think my beliefs have ever been opposed in real life. Honestly I have really only encountered people who are pro-choice to my knowledge.
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  #13  
July 25th, 2008, 07:42 PM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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Quote:
I live in the south and in college I was in the feminist student alliance and lobbied for women's rights and went to pro-life counter protests to protect a woman's choice to reproductive freedom, and I was faced with a lot of opposing opinions from my peers- but most of them had never been pregnant or in a situation that required making a choice- so they have absolutely no idea what they're talking about when they said they're pro-life because they have no experience or even RIGHT IMO to make a judgment about it. It's like deciding who you want to vote for and not knowing anything about the candidate.[/b]

I don't understand your logic. Most people who are pro-life are so because they believe that the unborn child's life has value and therefore deserves protection. Why does one have to experience pregnancy to make a determination as to whether all life has value or not?? Do you also believe a person can't have an opinion about the death penalty unless he/she had personally been on death row or personally been victimized by someone on death row? We make judgments about things we dont' have personal experience with all the time.
If I were to go with your logic though, it seems I could simply counter with - I was an unborn child once! that gives me personal experience enough to say that an unborn child has value.
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  #14  
July 29th, 2008, 09:01 AM
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I have only had my beliefs questioned in friendly debate. I am pro-life.
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  #15  
July 31st, 2008, 04:32 PM
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I have had an abortion and every single person in my family except for my next youngest sister is pro-life.

Yeah it kinda sucks.
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  #16  
October 9th, 2008, 06:59 PM
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My family and I (and a lot of my friends) do not see eye to eye on this topic. I am very pro-choice and they are not. I won't bring it up to them. If they bring it up I try to respectfully disagree. My husband's BF's wife is the worst. She thinks she knows everything and has no problems with weighing in. I just smile and think to myself about what an idiot she is (not specifically about this - she is also homophobic and racist)
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  #17  
October 20th, 2008, 12:54 PM
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This is something I encounter pretty regularly. I live in what is probably the most religiously uniform state in the country and so the majority of people here are pro-life and pro-adoption as the mormon church really promotes adoption. My close friends are all pro-choice however and while I consider my family and I to be relatively "cool Utahns" as well my mom is pro-life (not by influence of the church but by her own beliefs) and this isn't a topic that we discuss at the table but it will ocassionally come up when my mom and I are talking (moreso recently thanks to the presidential debate) and things can get pretty heated. My mom respects that I am entitled to my own opinions and I reciprocate = but what makes it even more of a touchy subject is that this is one of the few things my mom and I don't see eye to eye on. She also firmly believes that my views will change once I become preggo and have my child. I can only imagine that having that incredible experience will strengthen them. Also, in her mind - someone who loves children as much as I do should naturally be Pro-Life. Also, my mom is one of those that takes pro-choice to mean "pro-abortion". Like I've stated many times- I'm simply pro "make the choice that's right for you". The other members of my family don't hold strong opinions one way or another but the two of us sure do and they couldn't be more different! But I think respecting differing opinions has a lot to do with being pro-choice. KWIM?
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  #18  
March 10th, 2009, 07:46 PM
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My mom is the only person who I've gotten into a "fight" with over my simi strong opinion of pro-life.

On JM however if something is said about my opinion then I'll choose to ignore it. I can make "smart" comments about other things but I won't about abortion. It's too big of a touchy subject and I (deep deep down)know that some of the people who have had them truly do feel bad.
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  #19  
March 11th, 2009, 07:23 AM
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I really don't care if someone judges me based on my stance. I have had one abortion and saw what I aborted. I live with the emotional toll everyday. I think I have the right to say that it is wrong and selfish to abort. I have been on both sides of the fence.
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  #20  
March 11th, 2009, 07:32 AM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This isn't something that comes up in regular conversation with most people I know. Those with whom I have discussed it understand that my points of view come from personal experience, and it generally makes them uncomfortable. Which is fine with me because if you can't stand hearing about it, how can you advocate for someone's "Right" to choose that route.
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