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Half Abortion: Pregnant with Twins but aborting one


Abortion Debate

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  #1  
November 18th, 2012, 06:31 AM
bellasky's Avatar Blessed
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The Half Abortion: Only Keeping One Twin | The Dadabase

What do you think?
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  #2  
November 18th, 2012, 02:51 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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While I might disagree with some of the reasons, It's not my body, not my choice. I do hope that the mother's were able to live with their decisions with as little regret as possible.
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  #3  
November 18th, 2012, 07:27 PM
MzzMommaD's Avatar Sleepy Rat Rattery
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On one hand I understand on the other its like, How could you do that? You were blessed with not one, but two, when so many women/couples cant conceive one. But I have always been a firm believer that, "its your body do with it what you will." No one should be allowed to tell others what to do to their own body. Unless its your child and its for their safety.
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  #4  
November 19th, 2012, 02:14 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't even know if I believe i t- at least not in the way it is being presented. I do NOT believe that a woman would speak about aborting a baby she tried to so hard to have like this "But we created this child in such an artificial manner — in a test tube, choosing an egg donor, having the embryo placed in me — and somehow, making a decision about how many to carry seemed to be just another choice. The pregnancy was all so consumerish to begin with, and this became yet another thing we could control." It seems rather contrived to me.

Then they go on to say these are other reasons given:
Quote:
1. The mother was 45 years old and already had children. She felt financially insecure, as well as, too old to have twins.

2. The mother was known as a “good parent,” highly devoted to her children. Pregnant with twins, she decided she couldn’t be equally devoted to two more; just one.

3. The mother already had a son. Then she got pregnant with twins; a boy and a girl. She chose to keep the girl.

4. Many of these mothers were in their 2nd marriage and already have kids from their previous marriages. Twins would have been too complicated, compared to only one more addition to the family.

5. Some were single mothers.

6. Some mothers did not want to jeopardize their education.

7. Some did not want to jeopardize their careers.

8. One woman’s husband was an officer in the Army, fighting in Iraq. They already had a few kids. Twins were too much a risk if something happened to her husband.
I just so not buy it. There is a risk of fetal death when you just have amniocentesis. I can't fathom reducing a pregnancy by one is not without significant risks itself. Then add to that stupid things like "The mother was known as a 'good parent,' " as opposed to what - the other mothers who were known as bad parents? She was "known" as a good parent by whom? Is this saying SHE self claimed herself to be the "good mom" around town & needed to keep up appearances. I just do NOT believe someone chooses abortion for such trite reasons.

I think it is important to note that the TIMES article is long, but reads MUCH differently than the one first linked: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/14/ma...wanted=1&_r=2&

and the "author" of the 1st article is "very pro-life" in his own description here: Mormon | The Dadabase Paragraph 6.

I think the author attempted to make it appear that women who have abortions do so for convenient trite reasoning. While that may happen, it is hardly the majority. For example he says:
Quote:
" New York’s Mount Sinai Medical Center performed 101 abortions last year; 38 of those pregnancy terminations involved a mother pregnant with twins who decided to only abort one unborn child. And that’s just one medical center in the entire country."
and completely leaves out the fact that it is the LARGEST center for pregnancy reductions & one of the few that are willing to do reductions from twins to singleton...so duh. They do attract those that seek it specifically. The woman who apparently "purchased her baby" according to the article traveled THOUSANDS of miles to go there because she could not get one at home. Even the thing about a woman aborting a twin is a bit unrealistic. The ideal time to do a reduction is 12 weeks. The earliest time you can do amniocentesis is 14 weeks (and they prefer 16-20 weeks) & without that - she wouldn't know the gender that early - not with any certainty. I don't think you'd go through with an abortion of a twin, risking loosing the other too only to find out the ultrasound wasn't clear & surprise you are having the gender you *thought* you aborted. Call me crazy, but that wouldn't seem very logical.
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  #5  
November 21st, 2012, 05:01 AM
bellasky's Avatar Blessed
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I don't understand the "it's your body do with it what you want" argument. It's not your body, it's the baby's body.
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  #6  
November 21st, 2012, 07:41 AM
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I'm struggling to buy Jenny's story too. I did IVF after 5 years of infertility. I wanted twins so I wouldn't have to go through that again. I only had 1 though.

When you go through IVF, you know the risks of having multiples. I was also told the risks of what 10 years ago was called Selective Reduction. I'm sure the procedure has advanced in 10 years but I can't imagine it is risk free for the other fetus. I just don't understand why you would go through the process, see the heart beat & then have this procedure perform. But that's me through my lense.

But in the end, I'm pro-choice. This isn't something I would choose to do but it's not for me to make that choice for other women.
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  #7  
November 22nd, 2012, 10:34 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bellasky View Post
I don't understand the "it's your body do with it what you want" argument. It's not your body, it's the baby's body.
I don't think I've ever heard "It's my body to do with what it what I want".

I think the point of saying, "It's my body" is that is ultimately true. While the body of the unborn resides within a woman's body, it cannot supersede her rights to do what she wants to do. *If* we did allow the unborn to supersede moms' rights we could them be disallowing the mother to do things all *other* legal citizens are allowed to do, such as drink & smoke for example. While no one would suggest those are healthful activities for anyone, certainly we are all generally far more harsh in our perception of a pregnant woman doing them than the average citizen, yet we make no laws to stop it.... Why? Because we can't. It puts that person into a category of being a lesser citizen with less rights - we would be demoting that woman to the standing of a minor child for the sake of the "minor child" she is hosting at the moment & then we'd be giving MORE rights over the body to the unborn than to the woman.

Two people cannot legally share the same rights over the same body. It is not possible. Just like we cannot compel a mother or father to have to donate a kidney if they are healthy & able to or bone marrow even to attempt to save their own child. You cannot compel the use of one's body to save or even sustain the life of another. Not legally anyway. You are free to have a set of beliefs within your own life about what happens in your own life & your own womb. The issue is when you legislate that set of beliefs onto other people's lives.

Personally I can't fathom having an abortion. That is me though. My life & my beliefs are my own personal freedom to live & explore. I do not wish to extend those to a point where they intrude over other people's rights. Just because abortion is legal does NOT mean anyone *has to* get one. So those that support it are in no way infringing on my right to follow my own set of beliefs & feelings. When someone who is personally pro-life extends that into being politically pro-life, they do in fact wish to extend their sense of "right & wrong" into other people's lives. If that belief is based on a religion it is even more troublesome to me. I cannot even condone trying to dictate what others can & cannot do in their own lives, where they likely hold very different beliefs than yours. I want all people to make the choice sin their lives they feel will be the best decision they can make - EVEN IF - those differ greatly from what I would choose or what I think is best.

I can only live my own life & be accountable to my own actions. I do not need to have say so in other people's lives. I better trust you to live your own life then let me dictate ANY part of it to you.

I don't know if that helps you understand any better or not - but it's all I got at the moment to try to explain it the way I understand it. I DO believe a mother or father IS morally responsible to give an ill child an organ or marrow - I still won't favor a law that says we can strap them down & take it. Would you?
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #8  
January 25th, 2013, 06:37 PM
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This is older but I'll comment anyway.

I don't buy this lady's story. I don't buy that someone would, after undergoing such a process to get pregnant, 1. risk a twin pregnancy and selectively reduce one for no real reason. Her reasons were just her way of talking herself into not feeling guilty for what she's done. 2. not think anything of taking away a perfectly healthy sibling from the surviving twin 3. not understand that by having a selective reduction, that she could have lost the ENTIRE pregnancy, and more.

I just think this is a story to cover her guilt for doing it, and she probably did it because the truth is she just wanted the one baby.

As a surrogate, I know I was asked if I'd do selective reduction and I said NO unless my life or babies' lives were in danger and only in the event of more than 2. I'd never do it to reduce from twins to single.
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