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If you're preggo and the father does you wrong


Abortion Debate

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  #1  
August 29th, 2006, 10:12 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 751
In the case of a woman being pregnant and the father of the child doing her wrong, is it ok for her to tell him she had an abortion even though she didn't for the purpose of not having to deal with him?

What if she just escaped his abuse?

What if the man is just a jerk?

Is it fair to the child?

Fair to the father?

Is it ok in some cases and not in others? Is it not ok at all?
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  #3  
August 30th, 2006, 09:39 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Unless the woman believes it is for the literal survival of her baby (reason to believe there would be abuse, etc) or herself then I say you must tell the truth. In the end, unless it's a case of rape - you saw something worthwhile in this person at some point. I have known men that have been terrible BF's that have been pretty good dads. I know that isn't always the case, but I had a good friend who's ex tried something similar & then tried to say it was the new bf's baby, etc - but DNA proved it was his & he is an excellent father. I don't know what her motives were - I believe it was to keep the new BF happy - as he was never bad to her....but anyway - I would want to know my father & I think most kids do - whether we want them to or not is a separate issue really. I feel it is better to know the truth than to have some idea someone else has formulated for you. If he is no good - the kid will see that unfortunately for themselves, but denying there is a dad out there somewhere doesn't normally help the kid either.
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  #4  
August 30th, 2006, 08:08 PM
mrobinson
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Posts: n/a
Honestly.. I believe in her body, her choice.. She doesn't have to consult anyone, before or after.. If she chooses to tell before or after, that is her decision.

Quote:
In the case of a woman being pregnant and the father of the child doing her wrong, is it ok for her to tell him she had an abortion even though she did it for the purpose of not having to deal with him?[/b]
I don't know why she would... If it was for the purpose of being vindictive, well... what do you do?

Quote:
What if she just escaped his abuse?What if the man is just a jerk?[/b]
As in then it's justified? I don't know.. I've never been a situation like that. I would think that's not a great reflection of her character but who knows.. If I got raped and the jerk got thrown in jail, I might just tell him... Guess that doesn't much about my character but I just tried to understand that hate, even if just for a moment.

Quote:
Is it fair to the child?[/b]
The dead fetus?

Quote:
Fair to the father?[/b]


Quote:
Is it ok in some cases and not in others? Is it not ok at all?[/b]
I personally would hope women would consider talking to the father before hand but I respect they know what's best. If the guys a jerk, I would hope the gal would carry herself at a better standard but the bottomline is it's her choice.
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  #5  
August 31st, 2006, 11:04 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
We are talking about her lying & saying she had an abortion when she in fact kept the baby - right? Maybe I read the question wrong.
__________________
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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