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What's the most responsible decision?


Abortion Debate

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View Poll Results: What's the most responsible decision?
Adoption 12 41.38%
Abortion 9 31.03%
You never give your baby away or abort ~ you make it work 5 17.24%
other 3 10.34%
Voters: 29. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
September 6th, 2006, 10:27 AM
mrobinson
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What's the most responsible decision for unplanned pregancies which it is not an option to keep? Why? What order would you put it in?
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  #2  
September 6th, 2006, 10:52 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Missouri
Posts: 780
I have been thinking about this subject for a couple of weeks now. I can't vote yet, because I don't know what I would do.

I have a 5 year old, 11 month old, and a baby due in November. I have blood clotting disorder and I'm on heparin injections for it. I told my dr. I want to have my tubes tied after the baby is born, but he said I have to wait at least 6 weeks because of the risk of going into surgery while on heparin. I can't take birth control due to my blood clotting issues. So, I was thinking, what if I end up pregnant before I can go in to "get fixed". I have always been torn on the abortion issue. I had 3 miscarriages that I wanted to keep badly, so my feelings on this subject are.....jaded? is that the word i'm looking for?
I don't think I could give my child up for an adoption either though. I couldn't go through the whole pregnancy and get emotionally attatched to this life inside me and then give it to someone else. The women who do choose to give their child up for adoption after going through the pregnancy are stronger than I am. I'm not sure that I could make it work with 4 children, 3 of them being that close in age. So, I'm totally confused on this issue.
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  #3  
September 6th, 2006, 11:12 AM
mrobinson
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That's a very honest answer.
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  #4  
September 6th, 2006, 11:45 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
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I think it might also depend on where you are. YOur child migh have an adotive family right away in the USA while in other countries they will spend the most vulnerable period of their life alone for most of the day, crying with no one to hold them (having to wait their turn), drinking inadequately prepared formula, I think if I go on it'll make me cry....
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  #5  
September 6th, 2006, 03:19 PM
kadydid
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Quote:
I think it might also depend on where you are. YOur child migh have an adotive family right away in the USA while in other countries they will spend the most vulnerable period of their life alone for most of the day, crying with no one to hold them (having to wait their turn), drinking inadequately prepared formula, I think if I go on it'll make me cry.... [/b]
UGH Ditto
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  #6  
September 6th, 2006, 04:36 PM
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I didn't vote because it is impossible for me, or anyone for that matter, to answer this question (IMO). I think every situation is different and I cannot possibly know alll the details that would lead a woman to one decision or the next. When it comes down to a woman having to weigh these options and make this choice, it is a very personal decision. It is a decision, I hope, that is well thought out and a time in her life when, I hope, she has unwavering support (but it is a lack of support that leads so many women into making such delicate decisions). I cannot judge what I don't understand, and I cannot even begin to understand the reasons behind every single decision. Those I know that have had to make such choices, did what they felt was best for them.
Whether the decision is based on finances, lack of support, an abusive relationship, illness of the mother or the child, or any other number of reasons-- it is a choice to be made solely by each woman based on her situation and ability, or lack there of, to continue the pregnancy.
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  #7  
September 6th, 2006, 06:26 PM
Super Mommy
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I believe every child has the right to be alive, so I would say either adoption or make it work. I used to be very pro-choice when I was in high school, and always assumed that I would have an abortion because there was just no way I could have a child and make it work. It would ruin my life. Then I got pregnant at 17, and I just couldn't get an abortion. I look at my son now and think, if I would have gone through with an abortion, he would not be here. I can't even imagine. It was hard and I made many mistakes, but I'm glad I didn't give up.

Sidenote: they need to make adoption easier in this country, in my opinion. There are so many more loving parents who would adopt if not for the money issue. I know we probably would. (this is just from observation-I am not an expert on adoption and don't have a thorough understanding of the process)
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  #8  
September 7th, 2006, 08:23 AM
kadydid
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Quote:
I believe every child has the right to be alive, so I would say either adoption or make it work. I used to be very pro-choice when I was in high school, and always assumed that I would have an abortion because there was just no way I could have a child and make it work. It would ruin my life. Then I got pregnant at 17, and I just couldn't get an abortion. I look at my son now and think, if I would have gone through with an abortion, he would not be here. I can't even imagine. It was hard and I made many mistakes, but I'm glad I didn't give up.

Sidenote: they need to make adoption easier in this country, in my opinion. There are so many more loving parents who would adopt if not for the money issue. I know we probably would. (this is just from observation-I am not an expert on adoption and don't have a thorough understanding of the process)[/b]
Just out of curiosity, if they made abortion illegal and adoption easier for people do you realize there are approximately a million abortions in the United States alone each year, who is going to take care of all these unwanted babies?

You start wracking up those kinds of numbers and sooner or later you are going to find yourself with a pretty large surplus of unwanted children.


I didn't vote either because I don't know how to answer a question like that.
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  #9  
September 7th, 2006, 08:26 AM
dinamommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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1 million abortions each year! That is just so ridiculous! That seriously makes me so sad that there are that many unwanted babies.
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  #10  
September 7th, 2006, 10:15 AM
kadydid
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Our country has the highest rate of teen pregnancy, and abortion in the devolved world, by at least twice as much.

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/summa...teens_summ.pdf

Incredible study done by the Guttmacher institute. I think it is important for us to look around the world and see what is working and what is definitely not working and try to put into practice what is happening in successful countries.

(I know these statistics are about teens (15-19) but I think a lot of our values, morals and other attributes are instilled in us at a young age and carried with us through our lives having a great impact on adulthood. )

If we prevent the pregnancies from the beginning, there will be very little need for abortion.
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  #12  
September 8th, 2006, 12:43 PM
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Location: Idaho
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Maybe if abortion weren't an option, there wouldn't be as many unplanned pregnancies?

Not every baby that comes from an unwanted pregnancy ends up in the system or on the streets or forces the mother to live a life on welfare. Most of those mothers would be forced to grow up and deal with the consequences of their actions. IMO, those babies would shift from "unwanted" to "wanted and loved" once the mother realized she would be having this baby, and especially once she saw their precious face. Even a teenage girl has a mother's instinct and love!! If we were honest with ourselves, we would realize that most women who have abortions are perfectly capable of raising their children. Not to say it would be easy or convenient, but seriously, do you honestly think the majority of children that are aborted would have grown up unloved and rejected? I don't think so. Those that would have would be given up for adoption-and my guess is the percentage would not be as high as you think.

It is easy, since abortion is an option, to label these babies as unwanted and unloved, but that is only because abortion is an option!
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  #13  
September 8th, 2006, 12:55 PM
irishxrose
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Quote:
Maybe if abortion weren't an option, there wouldn't be as many unplanned pregnancies?

Not every baby that comes from an unwanted pregnancy ends up in the system or on the streets or forces the mother to live a life on welfare. Most of those mothers would be forced to grow up and deal with the consequences of their actions. IMO, those babies would shift from "unwanted" to "wanted and loved" once the mother realized she would be having this baby, and especially once she saw their precious face. Even a teenage girl has a mother's instinct and love!! If we were honest with ourselves, we would realize that most women who have abortions are perfectly capable of raising their children. Not to say it would be easy or convenient, but seriously, do you honestly think the majority of children that are aborted would have grown up unloved and rejected? I don't think so. Those that would have would be given up for adoption-and my guess is the percentage would not be as high as you think.

It is easy, since abortion is an option, to label these babies as unwanted and unloved, but that is only because abortion is an option![/b]
Abortion has been around for as long as humankind has been around. It will ALWAYS be an option, whether its legal or illegal. If it's illegal though we will have more dead and injured women from botched abortions.
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  #14  
September 8th, 2006, 01:03 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,496
Quote:
Maybe if abortion weren't an option, there wouldn't be as many unplanned pregnancies?

Not every baby that comes from an unwanted pregnancy ends up in the system or on the streets or forces the mother to live a life on welfare. Most of those mothers would be forced to grow up and deal with the consequences of their actions. IMO, those babies would shift from "unwanted" to "wanted and loved" once the mother realized she would be having this baby, and especially once she saw their precious face. Even a teenage girl has a mother's instinct and love!! If we were honest with ourselves, we would realize that most women who have abortions are perfectly capable of raising their children. Not to say it would be easy or convenient, but seriously, do you honestly think the majority of children that are aborted would have grown up unloved and rejected? I don't think so. Those that would have would be given up for adoption-and my guess is the percentage would not be as high as you think.

It is easy, since abortion is an option, to label these babies as unwanted and unloved, but that is only because abortion is an option![/b]
There are many countries where abortion is not an option, and the fruits of this are babies crying alone in a place no human here would dare live drinking inadequately prepared formula and just *waiting*. It doesn't bring the unwanted baby rate down very much for them.

Maybe the "system" in the USA is 'better,' but I cannot forsee it remaining 'better' if you burden it with so many more babies.
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  #15  
September 8th, 2006, 01:23 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
Maybe if abortion weren't an option, there wouldn't be as many unplanned pregnancies?[/b]
What has made you come to that conclusion?


Quote:
Not every baby that comes from an unwanted pregnancy ends up in the system or on the streets or forces the mother to live a life on welfare. Most of those mothers would be forced to grow up and deal with the consequences of their actions. IMO, those babies would shift from "unwanted" to "wanted and loved" once the mother realized she would be having this baby, and especially once she saw their precious face. Even a teenage girl has a mother's instinct and love!! If we were honest with ourselves, we would realize that most women who have abortions are perfectly capable of raising their children. Not to say it would be easy or convenient, but seriously, do you honestly think the majority of children that are aborted would have grown up unloved and rejected? I don't think so. Those that would have would be given up for adoption-and my guess is the percentage would not be as high as you think.[/b]
Most of those moms would be taking from the system and going nowhere. Where do you assume most women are in a position to take care of the child? Would you be willing to pay higher taxes for all those babies? When would it stop?

Quote:
It is easy, since abortion is an option, to label these babies as unwanted and unloved, but that is only because abortion is an option![/b]
Oh I think I understand your logic now.. In your world, do all parents love their kids too? In my world "love" includes many things that excludes hugging, kissing, teaching and wanting to spend time with the child ~ you know, giving kids tools. You don't believe me? Look at the jails. These are people who's parents didn't know how to help their kids. No tools. Being a parent is so much more than popping out a kid. Why do people minimalize that? That's a huge sacrifice. If parents do a 50% job, it just helps our justice system expand.
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  #16  
September 8th, 2006, 01:24 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
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Quote:
Maybe if abortion weren't an option, there wouldn't be as many unplanned pregnancies?

Not every baby that comes from an unwanted pregnancy ends up in the system or on the streets or forces the mother to live a life on welfare. Most of those mothers would be forced to grow up and deal with the consequences of their actions. IMO, those babies would shift from "unwanted" to "wanted and loved" once the mother realized she would be having this baby, and especially once she saw their precious face. Even a teenage girl has a mother's instinct and love!! If we were honest with ourselves, we would realize that most women who have abortions are perfectly capable of raising their children. Not to say it would be easy or convenient, but seriously, do you honestly think the majority of children that are aborted would have grown up unloved and rejected? I don't think so. Those that would have would be given up for adoption-and my guess is the percentage would not be as high as you think.

It is easy, since abortion is an option, to label these babies as unwanted and unloved, but that is only because abortion is an option![/b]
What child wants to grow up as a "consequence" or a "punishment", do you believe it to be healthy for a child to be considered a "lesson learned"?
Quote:
those babies would shift from "unwanted" to "wanted and loved" once the mother realized she would be having this baby, and especially once she saw their precious face. Even a teenage girl has a mother's instinct and love!![/b]
In this Utopia you describe, there would also be an increase in illegal abortions, babies in trash dumps and toilets, and I would bet (going on the "slippery slope" theory) runaways and suicides. Have you seen documentary footage of orphanages in other countries where abortion is illegal? They are overcrowded, unkempt and the children's needs are met to the minimal standards (ie a couple of diaper changes a day and formula not fit for livestock, they are not held or cared for, they lie in cribs and cry themselves to exhaustion until they fall asleep).
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  #17  
September 8th, 2006, 04:10 PM
dinamommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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The point about there being more women hurt or killed if abortion was illegal got me thinking. Would someone really be willing to risk there life to get an illegal abortion instead of just carry the child and let someone adopt it? Now, I know the point that a person could die in childbirth will come up, but, an illegal abortion would be MUCH riskier than having a baby in a hospital. I know this happened before abortion was illegal, but I would think an intelligent person would know the risk they were taking to have this done in some ally. Does this train of thought (that I'm having) even make any sense to anyone else? I may just be rambling, but I really wondered this when I read this thread.
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  #19  
September 8th, 2006, 04:33 PM
dinamommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yes, I understand what you're saying, but isn't our will to survive pretty strong. I have been almost suicidal before, but I know that I could never go through with killing myself (or even harming myself.....I'm such a baby!). Hmmmm.....all this really has me thinking.
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  #20  
September 8th, 2006, 04:54 PM
mrobinson
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The point about there being more women hurt or killed if abortion was illegal got me thinking. Would someone really be willing to risk there life to get an illegal abortion instead of just carry the child and let someone adopt it? Now, I know the point that a person could die in childbirth will come up, but, an illegal abortion would be MUCH riskier than having a baby in a hospital. I know this happened before abortion was illegal, but I would think an intelligent person would know the risk they were taking to have this done in some ally.[/b]
Prior to medical help, women were having kids without help.. People had deep wounds or cancer. All of which had no medical attention. That was just life.. so was trying to abort a baby. The reason why has nothing to do with her intelligence as it did with her circumstances.. Does that help (make sense)?
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